Jump to content

After 3 months ex wants me back

SmithJ

By SmithJ
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
Posted

Well after 3 months of my ex dumping me he wanted to give things another go.

 

He found out through a friend I had been on two dates with a guy and from then on my phone did not stop beeping. I was getting text messages varying from 'leave him and be with me' to 'I bet he isn't as good as me' I literally got every message under the sun.

 

I told him that I wasn't sure because I had come so far since we split and didn't know if I could trust him not to leave me again. He then said he wants to give things another go but he still wants to be partying all the time with his friends because he loves the freedom he has now and if I argue about it then its over.

 

I told him I'm too good to be second best to anything. He agreed and we decided to leave it. He told me he doesn't want anyone else to be with me because he likes knowing that I am his and he hates the thought of anyone else enjoying being with me.

 

The next day he drove over 3 hours to my apartment to collect some of his things he kept trying to come on to me but I kept pushing him away (learnt my lesson from last time!) we did end up kissing when he was leaving, he said he loves me and I deserve so much better than him. We both started to cry and he grabbed me and wouldn't let go. I then left and he got in his car and drove away.

 

He text me all kinds of emotional things after saying no one will love him like I do and that I'm perfect and he wishes he could change things. That was Friday and I haven't spoken to him since. He has text me this morning but I just deleted it straight away.

 

If he cant give me a committed relationship then what's the point?

 

I just thought I'd write this thread to show people that you will change your mind about your ex and you'll find yourself turning them down as you wont be able to trust them to not hurt you again.

 

Strict NC now....again!!

  • Like 5
Misfortune Established Member

Misfortune

Posted
Posted

A case of "I don't want you right now, wait for me but let no one else have you while I do as I please".

  • Like 4
  • Author
SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
  • Author
Posted

That's exactly it. I think it's more of a case of 'when I get bored of going out all the time and I'm lonely please take me back, if you were with someone else you might see how selfish and horrible I really am' ahaha

Kimmie80 Established Member

Kimmie80

Posted
Posted

How long were you guys together for?

  • Author
SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
  • Author
Posted

We were together for just over two years and lived together. He moved out, left me with all the bills, moved over 3 hours away and completely broke my heart. He didn't contact me at all for about 5 weeks after he left and I felt like I was never going to move on, it was the worst pain I've ever felt.

 

But I'm a lot better now, getting happier in myself :)

  • Like 1
candie13 Established Member

candie13

Posted
Posted

I suggest you start dating straight away. It changes your point of view on those around you, including your ex.

 

He basically is putting all of his efforts into getting you back and none into changing anything. It doesn't work this way. At least, he is honest to admit he does not want to stop partying.

 

Well, you know what you want. Right now, you just gotta stick to it. And do avoid as much as you possibly can face to face meetings, especially while you are still vulnerable. This type of men can feel a vulnerable woman from a mile, he will try to take advantage of that.

Nancy87 Established Member

Nancy87

Posted
Posted

And when he left you, did u try everything to have him back then? when u couldnt tolerate the pain!

Kimmie80 Established Member

Kimmie80

Posted
Posted

Good for you!! Im still stuck in the phase where I keep checking for messages; hoping with everything I've got that he will reach out and just say hi. I have been in NC since July 17th. Some days, I feel on top of the world, other days I feel like Im going to die. I can't wait to get to the point where I can just let go.

 

Keep yourself in NC. No guy who puts you on the back burner until he is bored is worth any of your time at all. Let him go have all his partying, hanging with his friends, or whatever it is he wants. You deserve someone who gives you the same as you put in.

 

You seem very strong. Keep going! Good luck to you!

  • Author
SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
  • Author
Posted

He basically is putting all of his efforts into getting you back and none into changing anything. It doesn't work this way. At least, he is honest to admit he does not want to stop partying.

 

 

I'm not sure that he wants me back, I think it's more of a case that he doesn't want anyone else to have me. I'm glad he's been honest now rather than stringing me along and lying to me which I did actually thank him for. I told him we can't be friends though and he said he would delete my number so he cant contact me BUT I got a text this morning so he obviously hasn't done that.

 

He's very inconsistent with his emotions and also very selfish. I'm just concentrating on myself now, there is no reason for us to be in touch as we have settled all our finances and belongings.

  • Like 1
  • Author
SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
  • Author
Posted
And when he left you, did u try everything to have him back then? when u couldnt tolerate the pain!

 

 

Yep tried everything. I cried at his feet for two days while he was still living in my apartment. Begged, pleaded did everything. When he left I begged for a while, said i'd change, literally said everything I could think of for a second chance.

 

I then went NC and sure enough he contacted me, saying he loved me etc, he then came to my apartment and we spent the night together. The next day he decided he didn't want me back and I went NC again. 2 weeks later he came back saying he loved me, missed me, couldn't stop thinking about me etc and I fell for it straight away and asked him if he wanted to get back together, he said that he didn't so NC again.

 

A couple of weeks later he found out about my dates and that leads us to this point now.

  • Author
SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Good for you!! Im still stuck in the phase where I keep checking for messages; hoping with everything I've got that he will reach out and just say hi. I have been in NC since July 17th. Some days, I feel on top of the world, other days I feel like Im going to die. I can't wait to get to the point where I can just let go.

 

Keep yourself in NC. No guy who puts you on the back burner until he is bored is worth any of your time at all. Let him go have all his partying, hanging with his friends, or whatever it is he wants. You deserve someone who gives you the same as you put in.

 

You seem very strong. Keep going! Good luck to you!

 

I was like that at first but just when you start feeling good about yourself you will get a message out of the blue! That's what kept happening to me. You just need to focus on yourself from now on.

 

I honestly didn't know how strong I was until all of this happened, I'm so proud of myself !

  • Like 1
Nancy87 Established Member

Nancy87

Posted
Posted

'I then went NC and sure enough he contacted me, saying he loved me etc, he then came to my apartment and we spent the night together. The next day he decided he didn't want me back and I went NC again'

 

OMG! how hurtful is that!

 

My ex dumped me because of his family thought we werent be good for each other. we had such a PERFECT relationship, loved like crazy,

n then he left me coz of his family..

I tried everything, to get him back.its the fourth month after breakup, n i just sent him a text few days back thinking that ill tell him how hurt his love is and his heart would melt but he was as harsh..

I just cant tolerate it. he used to die on me..

I am so confused in my life. so heart broken..

I cant seem to move on..

  • Author
SmithJ Established Member

SmithJ

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Nancy, it was really hurtful I felt so used and abused! It was awful. I felt like I could never move on too but truthfully that guy is not good enough for you if he can do that. If he came back you wouldn't be able to trust him not to do it again.

 

Once the trust has gone their is nothing, you would constantly be thinking 'what are his family saying about me' and 'will he leave me again'

 

Just focus on being yourself

Minneloa Established Member

Minneloa

Posted
Posted

This thread is totally inspiring! Well done, OP! :bunny:

  • Like 2
melell Established Member

melell

Posted
Posted

Good for you. Some people have so much growing up to do... your miles ahead of him on that front by the sound of things.

  • Like 2
lauri Established Member

lauri

Posted
Posted
Good for you. Some people have so much growing up to do... your miles ahead of him on that front by the sound of things.

 

^^^^ This. Really amazing.

hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

Posted
Posted

nancy my ex dumped me too cause of her family ... we loved like crazy too, i know it hurts A LOT.

 

we are here for you

barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted

Tell him to shove it op.

 

Hell come back, get you, and leave you again within 2 months.

 

Called the chase.

 

My (ex) did it with me.

 

 

Good job.

 

 

 

Barky

  • Like 2
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...