Want him back! :(

[Nancy87]

we were a perfect couple and died on each other.

His family had some religious dreams and told their son that m not good for him.

Now he is ignoring me brutally, i just cant survive such a reaction from him. He used to die on me. everyday we would talk for hours and if ever we missed a day, he would tell me he missed my voice so much.

 

But now he doesnt even read my msgs/emails. deletes them straightforward.

I tried talking to his friends and they ask me to move on coz he has made up his mind.

I contacted him again after 3 months of breakup n he is still as harsh he was ever since the relationship ended.

Its so difficult to move on. I feel as if all my confidence has drained and my self esteem has fallen so low, i dont know what to do with my life now.

 

Is there ANY POSSIBLE way i can have his love back. They said there is always a way. Please help me..

I cant get over him..

 

I have tried EVERYTHING that i could... but i just cant seem to move on..

I stalk his offline online timings on viber, stalk him on fb.. i just feel so shattered with all what happened.

Please help..

Edited September 16, 2013 by Nancy87

[todreaminblue]

theres nothing you can do nancy, if he listens to others and does what they tell him without going hang on a sec i can make my own mind up........he will never listen to you.....if he takes advice from others and then chooses to go his own way and make his own decisions for after all it is his life..... then you might have a chance...doesnt sound good though.....i wish you well....deb

[Nancy87]

What is worse is that i can't even hate him for what he did to me.

Every morning my heart sinks like anything.. It's so so painful!

[Nancy87]

Is there absoluty NOTHING one can do in such a situation...

I loved him..

[lindsay1990]

theres nothing you can do nancy, if he listens to others and does what they tell him without going hang on a sec i can make my own mind up........he will never listen to you.....if he takes advice from others and then chooses to go his own way and make his own decisions for after all it is his life..... then you might have a chance...doesnt sound good though.....i wish you well....deb

 

 

 

This.

 

I feel a large part of my own experience was my ex-boyfriend being overly susceptible to other people's influence. I have speculated myself if this is character trait or something out of immaturity that he will grow out of but only time will tell.

 

I am sure that if he is still harsh he is not indifferent to you, but he is having a very difficult time handling his conflicting feelings and there is nothing you can do to make him change them.

 

You are but one against him, his thoughts, his ruminating, his people's influence.

 

 

However, it happens but you can't GET him back, he will COME back. I know I shouldn't encourage this but if you every become a part of each other's lives again, it would be good for him to see how good you have done, and maybe your maturity will be an example for him?

 

What you MUST do is stop stalking because it is hurting you. Lastly, from what has happened to me, I know all men are not alike, but I would bet that a man who can be so influenced, will always be like that, and that is not good news for you in the long run anyway.

 

Wish you well.

[hurts2death]

this plus

 

you dont expose your other half to others opinions at all. people might be jealus bad evil and dont care.. you have to be reticent ..its a heart not a car to ask advice.....

theres nothing you can do nancy, if he listens to others and does what they tell him without going hang on a sec i can make my own mind up........he will never listen to you.....if he takes advice from others and then chooses to go his own way and make his own decisions for after all it is his life..... then you might have a chance...doesnt sound good though.....i wish you well....deb

[Nancy87]

if he doesnt reply yo my emails and even deletes my viber msgs without reading.. what would we call it... indifferent or harsh..

A month after the breakup he told me he hates me n now he says that i should let him alone for Gods sake..

 

The fact that we were Perfect and how much he would care for every little thing in my life hurts me so much, makes me sick to my stomach n i cant do anything but cry n pray.. I still cant believe that a man i discussed my future, my married life with, would turn so ice cold.. and would ignore my pain.. just coz he THINKS it's for good of us..

 

His Mom influenced him, and it hurts so bad!

[Nancy87]

We treated each other like husband n wife n he told me he had never found any girl as kind n gentle as me. n he even stopped being friends with all his ex just because i asked him to. he would do anything to make me happy. n now this 180 degree turn in his thoughts and demeanor..

Just cant handle it n get over his sweet kind words.. the way he would look at me out of love... when he would want me..

i prayed so much, so hard, every cell in my body felt the torture of our separation..

 

They say there is always a way..

Then why do i feel so clueless about what to do.. i have tried EVERYTHING! literally everything..

n this pain doesnt go away

[lindsay1990]

From my experience, I can tell you one thing about people being "influenced" though. Other people can't change your partner's mind about you, what happens is that they seek out people who will confirm their thoughts and tell them what they want to hear, so they can feel they are right.

 

It sounds like you are pretty young though, so his mother may have influenced him more. BUT, what you have to keep in mind is that when a man loves a woman, there is nothing that can keep him away from her and when he doesn't nothing can him stay. This is only my opinion.

 

But personally I think when people seek feedback is because they need someone to tell them they are right and make it okay.

 

You will never know if he will come back to you, but if you are still contacting you, he is going from indifference to annoyance with you - which I think is worse.

 

 

Go no contact for a couple of months. And again, people backtrack on commitments every day. We need to learn that words only mean anything in the present but then, they are gone with the wind. Even marriage vows stop meaning something eventually so what you and him "have", is what you are seeing right now. Not what you had in the past, or what you could have had.

 

NC is the way to go immediately, clear your head in that time. And don't blame his mother, she may help it, but it is HIM.

[Nancy87]

hmmm

 

i dont know how his family had convinced him out of his love that he started to hate me.He is 27 years old, is that an age too young to be influenced so easily?

 

Did ur man come back to you as i am inferring he was influenced out of the relationship as well!

[lindsay1990]

Haha mine was 27 too! I guessed I figured a man to be influenced like this would have to be like 19 or 20.

 

But like I said, it is not the other people, it is THEM who don't want to.

 

I don't know if he would have come around after a while though, but after receiving a breadcrumb message from his I replied making sure he would never contact me again, unless he was a masochist.

 

I know it's hard and it's easy for us to try to blame other people, but it is HIM who doesn't want to come back. Anything else is just lying to yourself.

[Nancy87]

hmmm.. thank you for ur posts..

 

the reality is shattering..

[Nancy87]

How can i get rid of this obsession..

I saw him in my dream with another girl..

Spying on his fb is what i do first thing in the morning... getting sick of it now. I need help