She Claims The Another Guy Kissed Her, But She Didn't Want It...

[secret admirer]

We've been together since high school (around 3 years), and this is our first year in college. She left to the other side of the country to go to her school, and we thought we could handle being together still, so we decided to have a long distance relationship. Now I loved her and she loved me. We never, EVER got into arguments and we never had issues. But this would change that. She said that she met this guy in college and she claims she told him she has a boyfriend (me) and values that, but she then tells me she eats dinner with him and studies with him too. Before she left to college, she told me we could go out with other people, but we could not kiss or go anywhere beyond that. So far, I haven't even gone out with anyone, nor talked to a girl. I find myself too faithful and too afraid to hurt her. Now today she told me bad news. She told me she wanted to be honest, and she said she got kissed by this boy she hangs out with. She says she's sorry and she feels bad for what happened. she told him that she has a "boyfriend who she loves very much." Apparently she still hangs out with him...This was all said through text. Its been only one month and she already got kissed by a guy. Is she just wanting me to break up with her? She also said if she wanted to break up, she would call me, but we still call each other, and she still seems to love me. What should I do? Should I discuss this with my girlfriends parents? WHATS GOING ON? :(:(

Edited September 16, 2013 by secret admirer
adding info

[justwhoiam]

Before she left to college, she told me we could go out with other people, but we could not kiss or go anywhere beyond that.

She set the rules without you batting an eyelash. Where were you when she said that? Man up.

 

today she told me bad news. She told me she wanted to be honest, and she said she got kissed by this boy she hangs out with. She says she's sorry and she feels bad for what happened. she told him that she has a "boyfriend who she loves very much." Apparently she still hangs out with him

It looks like a conflict of interest. You can just be the receiver of her texts or her boyfriend. Make up your mind fast.

 

Is she just wanting me to break up with her?

If that was her purpose, I guess she would have come across as insecure about you and her feelings for you. But this didn't happen. Yet.

 

What should I do?

Voice your concerns. If you really want to go on with her, ask her to stop seeing this guy.

 

Should I discuss this with my girlfriends parents?

Why?!! What do her parents have to do with what happened??? She's not a child. Treat her like an adult.

[Solcita2]

I understand that you can get kissed by a guy without "wanting it"... however we'll never know the other side of the story.

 

HOWEVER she should STOP hanging out with him... she's NOT thinking about your feelings... I think she doesn't respect you enough... she knows this hurts you and she just goes on with her normal life... nothing changed in her life after that thing that meant so much to you...

 

Why did she tell you about it? Don't know... guilt? Honesty? Don't really know...

 

DO NOT SPEAK WITH HER PARENTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yum yum]

Going from a relationship where you see each other frequently to LDR can be tough, that being said I think you need to have a talk with her, she was the one who said no kissing etc with other people. Yes it might have been one sided that this guy thought it was ok to kiss her, and she has told you about it, which is encouraging. I think you need to grab the bull by the horns and decide if you are b/f & g/f or friendzoned. If it is the first one then you need to address the problem of her hanging out with this guy.

[coolheadal]

She loves you as a friend, she has found a guy she can be with right now. Tough situation your in there. But you have to take charge of your life right now. You have her as friend, but deep relationships not happening as she doesn't seem to be waiting for you or can't. She sounds like she doesn't want to hurt you but has fallen in love with someone she can touch for real.

[OnlyHonesty]

What is happening here is this. Your gf set the rules which left the door open for her to invite someone in. You did not put your foot down, you were not a man about it. The sexual polarity is wrong and her behaviour suggests she does not respect you and she knows you will forgive her if she did do something.

 

That stuff about a guy kissing her and her not wanting it is absolute nonsense. It is a way for her to avoid any responsibility for what happened. A guy is unlikely to attempt a kiss if he is not getting the vibes and the fact that she is still hanging around with this guy is encouraging him and other future events.

 

I only deal with the truth period so I think you know exactly what the likely outcome of this is.

 

Long distance relationships are hard but by not being a man and not putting her in her place, you have left the door open for her to do as she pleases. I would never except anyone telling me such new terms of a relationship, it's disrespectful. To be honest, I doubt anyone would even try to do that.

 

Of course, all of the above is merely my opinion, I could be completely wrong and way off the mark but if you search yourself and trust your gut, you will arrive at the truth. Often we do not see the truth, not because we can't, but because it is too painful for us to view.