dashfinn Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I've been seeing this girl for about a month now. Our friends got us together. All in all, everything goes well between us. She is funny (kind of like Aubrey Plaza style), she is standing on her own, she is caring and kind, she is hot and adventurous. A fine lady, indeed. As a guy, I'm pretty darn honest with my feelings with her. I've told her how I feel about her, which is that she is unique and that I really enjoy being with her and that I'm starting to have feelings for her. She has said that it is a really positive thing. She has had some dysfunctional relationships. One guy had huge problems with alcohol. Other guy lied to her about not smoking cigarettes, although he did. She has told me about these guys. Now, I do smoke as well. It's a painful problem for her. She has always disliked smokers but now she has been feeling ever more irritation toward smokers. She said it might because she cares about me a lot. She said she could never be with a smoker or see a future with a smoker. She works as a nurse, so she sees smokers at work as well. I told her that I could go without smoking for a while and see how it goes. But I also said that I wouldn't quit just for her, I would have to do it for myself, not for her. She agrees. Our first kiss was clumsy, sweaty and awkward. But it also was gentle, loving and soft. This is only my view of it. When I initiated the first kiss, I went bluntly and asked, speaking slowly that how would she feel if I kissed her at that moment. She replied that she was waiting for me to say that how she would feel if we would stop seeing each other and never meet again. I don't know why she was expecting for me to say something like that. The second kiss was just a peck on the lips from her. But, there was a lot more touching and hugging and caressing involved with the second kiss. A part of me wants to end the whole thing and move on. I get by really well just on my own and I feel I don't need anybody in my life to survive. On the other hand, I want to be in a relationship with her. It scares the **** out of me, but that's probably just because there's feelings involved and going into the unknown. Yesterday, she said that she just wants to keep seeing me and that she can't say anything else. I started to talk about what is the point that we are in a relationship. Then we had the smoking talk, previous relationships. Today, I'm unsure about this thing. Should I just end it? Or should I have persistence and patience and keep seeing her? I really dislike all "dating rules" and especially all "pick-up artistry" and all that. I also think people act too quick nowadays and don't give time for relationships to develop. That said, I also need to feel that our thing has some future and direction, otherwise it would be pointless to keep seeing each other. In that case, we might be better off parting on our separate ways. Sorry about the lengthy rant, I wanted to include all the details about this.
heartshaped Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 If it's only a month in, I think it's too early to make any decisions. I'd give it, at least, another month or so. Like you said, people are too quick to make relationship decisions these days. I will say though she seems to be a bit lukewarm with you though that could be because of the smoking issue.
Author dashfinn Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 If it's only a month in, I think it's too early to make any decisions. I'd give it, at least, another month or so. Like you said, people are too quick to make relationship decisions these days. I will say though she seems to be a bit lukewarm with you though that could be because of the smoking issue. I agree. I think you are right with her being lukewarm, and it might be about the smoking. However, I also feel she's a bit insecure, so that might be a combination of those. I'll give it some more time and see how things develop between us. 1
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