Dez Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 so i've been in no contact. i've took everybodies advice, going out with friends, taking up new activities, traveling, buying myself expensive things to make myself happy. but nothing ever seems to work. whenever i see couples on walking on the street i get hella depressed. even if a girl flirts with me i don't even care, because i only want one girl, and she hates me. everyday, almost all day, my ex is on my mind. it really sucks because i'm trying so hard to let go..but still i'm waiting for her to call me. its like i love her, but at the same time i'm hating her for what she done to me. sometimes i feel so desperate just to send her a text.. but i know it's going to lead to another fight. its hard going through life feeling like this, i just want to give up on everything.
RiceaRoni Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 You just have to take it a day at a time. Yeah it hurts, a lot. many of the people on here including me understand your pain. Only time will help you out the most, time and your motivation to feel better. If you want to feel better, don't dwell and don't sit in a pool of sadness forever, have a couple good cries, grief a bit, vent here if you need to, and then try to make yourself stronger and give yourself some well deserved self love. It isnt easy, and it wont be; but I believe you can pull through, just take it a day at a time and look at the things your blessed with in your life right now, without her. Do something everyday that's encouraging or an accomplishment, even if it's a small one. Smile when you can, watch comedy to help you laugh and smile, go out with friends, and something that helped me a lot was really sticking with family. 1
Author Dez Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 You just have to take it a day at a time. Yeah it hurts, a lot. many of the people on here including me understand your pain. Only time will help you out the most, time and your motivation to feel better. If you want to feel better, don't dwell and don't sit in a pool of sadness forever, have a couple good cries, grief a bit, vent here if you need to, and then try to make yourself stronger and give yourself some well deserved self love. It isnt easy, and it wont be; but I believe you can pull through, just take it a day at a time and look at the things your blessed with in your life right now, without her. Do something everyday that's encouraging or an accomplishment, even if it's a small one. Smile when you can, watch comedy to help you laugh and smile, go out with friends, and something that helped me a lot was really sticking with family. thanks for the words. believe me i tried doing all those things, but nothing i do positive seems to do it for me. i just can't put a band aid on it. this is really depressing.
RiceaRoni Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 oh dear..I know how you feel. I was doing fine for about two days and today hit an all time low.. But even so Ive been trying my best to see the bight side and look into the future. Its going to be tough for a while, you just really need to know that everything does happen for a reason and in the end everything will turn out the way it's suppose to be. In the end all this pain and depression will pay off when you find the one (or when she finds you) and you can sigh in relief because you'll be happy with a woman who loves you and vice versa. It's hard dear, I know. Just stick to NC and delete her number, and what helped me during my first BU was to stay off of every social media site for a while, until I began to feel better. You gotta do what you gotta do for yourself now. Now, it's all about you and making yourself happy and to heal.
todreaminblue Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I second what rice a roni said family is a god send.....they love you, support you are there for you, dont text her, dont call her i know how you feel, you have to cut off, ask people not to talk about her, dont mention her name, reading, listening to music that you liked before they were around.....exercise cant stress that one enough because you can control how your body moves not feels and what i have saved is some really horrible messages.....i am nto a negative person normally..........when i miss him and he is a sod.....i read the messages over until i feel sick in the guts ...done.. dont text dont call dont want to see him...and i think the guy i am going to be with one day ....is never going to say those things to me...it works... it helps when they havent apologised either........then you can see just how thoughtless inconsiderate and sod like they really are......when i feel soft again.......lol...which doesnt take long for me i hate holding negatvity it does make me physically ill ......i re read and repeat... i have to get through this.....one day i wont have to read the messages...one day i can delete them and i just wont care...its how i got through a fifteen year break up...that and prayign to go dto make me strong nto to see him.....everyday... stay strong dont remmeber the sweet smiles the cute eyes the soft voice the beautiful things they do...doesn thelp....i am stopping now because they are coming up those beautiful things...i have a message to re read and i dont think of a soft voice or a warm smile with crinkled eyes when i read it....more a sneer straight at me and who i am.....deb 1
Author Dez Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 i appreciate all this advice. i am doing all the things that your guys are suggesting, but the pain seems to still linger. i tell myself she'll be back, she's going to realize how good we are together, just waiting for her to come around. i can't get over her no matter what i do.
Hoaks Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I second what rice a roni said family is a god send.....they love you, support you are there for you, dont text her, dont call her i know how you feel, you have to cut off, ask people not to talk about her, dont mention her name, reading, listening to music that you liked before they were around.....exercise cant stress that one enough because you can control how your body moves not feels and what i have saved is some really horrible messages.....i am nto a negative person normally..........when i miss him and he is a sod.....i read the messages over until i feel sick in the guts ...done.. dont text dont call dont want to see him...and i think the guy i am going to be with one day ....is never going to say those things to me...it works... it helps when they havent apologised either........then you can see just how thoughtless inconsiderate and sod like they really are......when i feel soft again.......lol...which doesnt take long for me i hate holding negatvity it does make me physically ill ......i re read and repeat... i have to get through this.....one day i wont have to read the messages...one day i can delete them and i just wont care...its how i got through a fifteen year break up...that and prayign to go dto make me strong nto to see him.....everyday... stay strong dont remmeber the sweet smiles the cute eyes the soft voice the beautiful things they do...doesn thelp....i am stopping now because they are coming up those beautiful things...i have a message to re read and i dont think of a soft voice or a warm smile with crinkled eyes when i read it....more a sneer straight at me and who i am.....deb I like that bit, gave me that little bit more hate for my ex I like reading your posts. I know how you feel Dez, but everyone is right here, with NC every day, week, makes you feel better. I am at a angry stage after 3 months and am only just taking my ex off that stupid pedestal i had her on . It will get better... 1
todreaminblue Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i appreciate all this advice. i am doing all the things that your guys are suggesting, but the pain seems to still linger. i tell myself she'll be back, she's going to realize how good we are together, just waiting for her to come around. i can't get over her no matter what i do. no matter how good you were together you are not together now, no contact is to enforce that not good together thing.....to not change it back....... nearly everybody has fond memories of being in a relationship, the good times......but they are over....... in time you will get to a point when you dont care ....it doesnt bother you what they do, say or think ...you are not angry, sad or missing them or hurt, you just dont give a flying fig either way, they could even turn up at that stage...and you would accept their apology...with a smile and say thankyou...maybe even maintain a friendship if you wanted to ........ but they wont affect you the way you are now ever again...no contact is the only way you get to the not caring stage..you have to think this is really important for you remember.... they arent contacting me why....because they are already there at that non caring stage they never cared enough to think of contacting you..and you have to get there yet.....so keep no contact and at least try some of the suggestions other posters and myself have made ...i know its hard but you can and you will make it....hugs...deb 1
Author Dez Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 I like that bit, gave me that little bit more hate for my ex I like reading your posts. I know how you feel Dez, but everyone is right here, with NC every day, week, makes you feel better. I am at a angry stage after 3 months and am only just taking my ex off that stupid pedestal i had her on . It will get better... i'm feeling anger too. i'm thinking back on all the good things i've done for my ex and realizing that she never appreciated them. i guess i had her up on a pedestal too, thinking she was so great, but now my feelings are becoming bitter.
Chi townD Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i appreciate all this advice. i am doing all the things that your guys are suggesting, but the pain seems to still linger. i tell myself she'll be back, she's going to realize how good we are together, just waiting for her to come around. i can't get over her no matter what i do. Yeah, but just imagine if you weren't making positive changes or keeping busy! A lot of folks say that keeping busy does help but then they have down time, they tend to go back to thinking about their Ex. BUT!!! That happens when they have DOWN TIME! All I can say is it's going to take some time. Period. You need time to heal from this and it doesn't happen overnight. When I knew I was moving on is one morning, I got up and took a shower. I had breakfast and went about my day. Later that afternoon, I realized that she wasn't the first thing I thought of when I woke that morning and I didn't even realize it until well into the afternoon! THAT'S when I realized that I was starting to heal. So, it just takes time.
Author Dez Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Yeah, but just imagine if you weren't making positive changes or keeping busy! A lot of folks say that keeping busy does help but then they have down time, they tend to go back to thinking about their Ex. BUT!!! That happens when they have DOWN TIME! All I can say is it's going to take some time. Period. You need time to heal from this and it doesn't happen overnight. When I knew I was moving on is one morning, I got up and took a shower. I had breakfast and went about my day. Later that afternoon, I realized that she wasn't the first thing I thought of when I woke that morning and I didn't even realize it until well into the afternoon! THAT'S when I realized that I was starting to heal. So, it just takes time. i hope you're right. its been almost 5 months since the breakup, and it still hurts as much as did it when she told me she wanted to leave me. its been hard waking up in bed not seeing her beside me. hard watching football & baseball games because thats places where we would hang out all the time. if only i could erase her from my mind somehow.
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