ps123 Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 Just curious as to what people think of age differences. Im 34 and i usually date older women, not as a rule, it just works out that way. Ive dated women as much as 13 years older. Ive dated younger women also, but usually only by a few years. I sort of preferred older women because they seemed to be at a more stable place in thier life, but after several bad experiences, Im starting to realize that this isnt necessarily the case. Women can be 22 and be very mature and women can be 35 and act like 15 year olds, so it really just depends on the woman. What are other peoples experiences? I recently met a 24 year old. I dont know that Im ready to date right now anyway since Im still not over my last breakup, but is 9 1/2 years too much of an age spread. I initially thought it was, but after thinking about it, Id be open to the idea. She seems mature for her age which would help. Id be more worried that shed change as she got older and think I was too old for her. Im also seeing that I worry and think about stuff way too much .
Merin Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 I think if it's 2 consenting adults anything is possible...
Amethyst Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 I think if it's 2 consenting adults anything is possible... ITA! Under 18 is a definite no-no. Nonetheless, once both people are 'adults' and a part of the same 'playing field', so to speak; I see no reason why age should be a factor.
kellyp1 Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 It will not be a factor later. As I get older, age matters less. If it doesn't matter when she is in her early 20's, it will matter even less as the years go by. Follow your heart.
MelodyJ Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 If it doesn't bother her, and it doesn't bother you, then don't worry about it.
alphamale Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Ten years plus or minus is my general rule of thumb. When it comes to sexual activity with women, IT'S ALL GOOD!
Naive Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 As long as they are both over the age of 18 it's okay. My sister keeps trying to introduce me to a 36 year old men and I'm only 21. However since I am old enough I know what I want and what I don't, so if I would go for it there would be nothing wrong because I am old enough to know what I want and what I don't want.
Stone Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 I am 24 and my b/f is 35 we have our problems like everybody does but it has nothing to do with our age. If I we're single again I would only date men in their 30's because it's my preference. Our faimlies don't seem to care they know we are in love however his friends give him alot of heat for it....... But they haven't meet me yet.
TaraS Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 I don't have any hard-and-fast age-difference rules, although it's generally hard for me to find anyone more than a few years younger than I am attractive (I'm 29; it's a mental block). I know of a very successful couple -- she's 35, he's 20. I'm casually seeing a guy who's my age; his last girfriend was 20 years older. My ex is about to turn 30 and his girlfriend is 36. My best friend from high school lived with a man when she was 18 and he was 29; now, she's 29 and dating someone who's 23. I have a major crush on a business associate of mine who's 53, and although I won't do anything about it because of the business relationship (I make a rule never to date/fool around with anyone whose business decisions could affect my ability to make a living), I would in a heartbeat otherwise. I suppose if I was looking for a long-term relationship, I'd probably prefer someone close in age to me, but since I'm not, it really doesn't matter.
alphamale Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 However since I am old enough I know what I want and what I don't, so if I would go for it there would be nothing wrong because I am old enough to know what I want and what I don't want. Let me see here.... you are 21 yrs old and you THINK you know what you want and don't want? I highly doubt that.... I'm almost 40 and when EVERYONE is 21 they ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WANT but the reality is they know very little about life, love or anything else. You will learn much within next 20 years about yourself and the world around you.
Naive Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale Let me see here.... you are 21 yrs old and you THINK you know what you want and don't want? Yes, I do. I know what I want in this moment of my life. I highly doubt that.... I'm almost 40 and when EVERYONE is 21 they ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WANT but the reality is they know very little about life, love or anything else. You cannot stereotype 21 year olds like that. There are many 21 year olds that have lived a fast life and believe it or not have experienced a lot of different things. So don't you tell me what I have experienced and what I have not experienced. Everyone is different and because you did not know what you wanted for yourself at 21 does not mean that most 21 year olds are the same You will learn much within next 20 years about yourself and the world around you. I bet I will and that will be what is necessary for my age range.
alphamale Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 Yes, I do. I know what I want in this moment of my life. Right and the other thing I forgot to mention is that you act and say the exact stereotypical thing that an immature 21 yr old would. YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE WORLD. I said the same, my peers said the same when they were 21 and every other generation before and after us of 21 yr olds will say the same. Fact is that you have had almost no time to experience life, love and the world to any worthy extent. And the other fact is that you won't know anything of what I am talking until you get maybe 10 or 15 yrs older. Ask anyone who is 35+ and of reasonable intelligence and they will confirm what I tell you...
Amethyst Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 I've heard it said that "the more you know, the more you realize just how much you *don't* know" -- so true.
Stone Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 I've meet plenty of people 35+ that don't have a clue about life age has nothing to do with it.
izzybelle Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 it may not be age that makes a difference, i think it's more of a life stage issue. i think this can become an issue more around readiness to settle down and have a family. some are ready for that in their 20s, some much later. i think as long as two people agree on what they want, or don't, expect or don't expect, then age doesn't matter.
Merin Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale Let me see here.... you are 21 yrs old and you THINK you know what you want and don't want? I highly doubt that.... I'm almost 40 and when EVERYONE is 21 they ALL KNOW WHAT THEY WANT but the reality is they know very little about life, love or anything else. You will learn much within next 20 years about yourself and the world around you. When did this thread become about Naive OR about IF 21 year olds know what they want? You know Alphamale just because you're 40 doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that you are some how superior or know more about everything then anyone else regardless of thier age or gender. There are some VERY bright people here at the shack that are much younger than yourself and know quite a bit about Love, Life, and A LOT of other things.. Interesting that at 40 years old YOU still haven't figured out when your opinion is simply that.. YOUR opinion and NOT a fact.
Honesty Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale Right and the other thing I forgot to mention is that you act and say the exact stereotypical thing that an immature 21 yr old would. YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE WORLD. You sound very bitter. Can it be you are just jealous you are not 21 anymore??? I really don't see what was so WRONG about what she stated Actually you are already an older man of almost 40 and you seem to not know jack about life because if you did you would not make the statements that you have, they are so ridiculous What exactly did she say that made you get all jumpy about age?
missopinionated Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 You're overthinking all this and focusing on stuff that does NOT matter. If the first thing you analyse is how old or young someone is, do you actually care WHO the person is? My husband is 12 years my junior. We've been together 7 years. The first thing I though about when I met him was what a wonderful, charismatic, smart, educated, lucid, literate person he was -- and is -- because that's the stuff that mattered to me then, when he was 23 and I was 35, and is what matters now that we're both middle aged. Your priorities are all screwed up. You're like someone who goes buys an Armani suit that is way to big and last year's fashion, simply because it is Armani. Get past the labels. Labels are for jam, not people. There is MUCH more to maturity and immaturity than age.
Honesty Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by missopinionated There is MUCH more to maturity and immaturity than age. Bingo!!!
Naive Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale Right and the other thing I forgot to mention is that you act and say the exact stereotypical thing that an immature 21 yr old would. YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF AND THE WORLD. Look, I don't know since when is this thread about me!!!! but all I am going to tell you is that you do NOT know me therefore you can not judge me based on my age. Maybe you were oblivious about what you wanted when you were 21 but I AM NOT YOU! I don't pretend, intend, or want to know everything about the world, but I do know MYSELF. If anything you are more immature than this 21 year old because I never attacked anyone on here over there age. Age does not depict who you are as a person, okay!!! Obviously being almost 40 did not stop you from being immature
Naive Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by Merin When did this thread become about Naive OR about IF 21 year olds know what they want? Merin you read my mind!!! Or more like I read yours!!!
Amethyst Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by missopinionated There is MUCH more to maturity and immaturity than age. I'm wondering if you are getting the original poster and alphamale mixed up. Here's a passage from the first post in this thread to show the originator *agrees* with the above assessment: Women can be 22 and be very mature and women can be 35 and act like 15 year olds, so it really just depends on the woman. With the exception of alphamale, we're all basically saying the same thing -- age doesn't matter.
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