goodguy000 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Hi, So my ex and I broke up officially over a month ago, we hadn't seen each other for months because she is working out of state. She said she wanted to be friends and texted twice over the past month, I didnt reply because I guess I was still coming to grips with the situation, she was sleeping with another person, It's now been 1 month NC.. The problem is I miss her and I know she doesnt deserve me but I can't help how I feel. She was the first person I had ever opened up to emotionally. Should I text her that I want to be friends? I really don't know if she just said that to be nice or she actually meant it.
Heathcliff_201 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Definitely don't do that. You will look like a pathetic guy in her eyes. Best thing is to have no contact. I'm going through it with a girl right now. You know who I called to speak with? The girl who was the reason I discovered this site about three years ago. It made me realize that as hard as this, is I have made it before. I spoke with my previous ex for about 2 hours today. I have absolutely no desire to get back with her, but I care about her and she cares enough about me to help me get over this current ex. She said I could call her anytime I felt down. It doesn't stop the pain I feel, but I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I felt sick to my stomach 3 years ago. Time will heal. I'm starting with 30 days first. If I'm not feeling any different I'll go another 30. I'm ending day 4. Why not start the count? 1
Author goodguy000 Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 yeah the count sounds like a good idea. It just feels hopeless sometimes, trying to get over it and meet new people is impossible because id be lying to myself that im ready to move on when clearly im not over her. What hurts most is she go over me so quickly. Kinda wish they had the technology from "Etenrnal sunshine of a spotless mind" Erase my memories of her.. But then again we had some good times. I really don't know if I'll contact her or not.. Is it a bad idea? probably yes, but at this point it cant do anymore damage. I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself and I don't care if it gives her validation. I miss her , and i guess i still want to be in contact, if she does want to be friends we can stay in contact and if she doesn't then at least I will know for sure. Still on the fence:/
Misfortune Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I miss my ex also. It's been 3 months nc and I've accepted that she's never coming back. We aren't divorced yet and it sucks because I'm dreading the day I have to deal with those papers. I'm jobless so I can't do it at this time and she claims she's broke but I know she isn't. I guess she's enjoying the perks of marriage without dealing with the person she married. I'll never get married again after this is over, such a hassle. 1
crazybestie101 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Hi, So my ex and I broke up officially over a month ago, we hadn't seen each other for months because she is working out of state. She said she wanted to be friends and texted twice over the past month, I didnt reply because I guess I was still coming to grips with the situation, she was sleeping with another person, It's now been 1 month NC.. The problem is I miss her and I know she doesnt deserve me but I can't help how I feel. She was the first person I had ever opened up to emotionally. Should I text her that I want to be friends? I really don't know if she just said that to be nice or she actually meant it. I just feel urge to contact my Ex bf. But somehow i try to control it . For me its just 30 days of NC. I feel like i want do it for atleast 3 months. just like how others said , dont contact her because you will sound desperate , its gonna be ego boost for her. And about being friends with ex is NEVER great idea. I have done it and everytime my feelings came back . Not worth it . Many times my friends tell me to reach out to him because they know without me initiating he wont do anything. I dont know now its even worth to swallow pride and reach out to him.
Nancy87 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 (edited) @crazybestie i contacted back my ex after 3 months. It was such a disappointment n i felt insulted! And now i conclude some ppl say it right that what belongs to you shall come to you. My previous ex came back to me after a year even after i changed my number. so someone who has to be there in ur life, who wants to be there. will come no matter what. Dont make the same mistake i did. It will make u feel miserable as i feel now. We had a perfect relationship n when he told me his family thinks i am not good for him we shouldnt marry. i brokeup. n then after 10 days i approached him again n HE WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON. I still die on him n i did everything to save our perfect relationship, begged/pleaded tried like EVERYTING. But to no avail. Contacting again n no reply would make u feel miserable! Edited September 16, 2013 by Nancy87 1
stormer1092 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I also miss my ex. I still cry time to time. If it wasn't for having a job I would go nuts.. I'm just doing no contact and hopefully things will get better. Reaching out will just make things worse or at least they did for me. I was horrible when me and her were talking. Now things are somewhat bearable. But don't make yourself look like a weak pathetic looser like I did. No Contact. 1
melell Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Missing my ex is completely dependent on how I am feeling in general. Sometimes I miss him so bad I feel like I can't cope, then other times I don't miss him at all. It is part of the process I think. 4
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