DellPickle Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I love my girlfriend, been together since April. She is pretty and she has a high sex drive, more so than mine at the moment actually. We have great conversations and fantastic chemistry and she is marriage material in my eyes. Problem is I don't want sex with her very often and do it more so out of commitment and making her happy. I still have a good sex drive, but its towards other women. We had sex the other morning, then she went out for lunch with her friends, I got a little hard and decided to masturbate to porn, I found it more exciting than sex with her. I don't masturbate often, maybe once a week, so its not taking away from my sex drive, and its mostly amateur stuff I see women walking and just think how I'd love to have sex with them. I have a few crushes I think about from time to time wondering what it would be like to be with them sexually. I would never cheat, but cant keep these thoughts out of my head My girlfriend is attractive, she isn't skinny, but isn't fat. It has been pointed out that I typically go for thin girls, so I don't know if this has something to do with it. One of my crushes is similar size to her though and the others are average size and only one or two I would consider skinny. She hasn't gained weight since we got together, and our sex was great at first, we couldnt keep our hands off each other, now she can't keep her hands off of me, but I'm not interested. Sex is still passionate, feels good and we do different positions to keep it fresh, but just doesnt keep me interested and I just want to finish so I can go do my thing. I've had similar feelings before, namely my last gf, we were together a little over a year and a few months into the relationship my interest in sex with her (but not others) declined, but I did love her and enjoy her company. Am I a commitment phob? Are there guys who just have this instinctive urge to spread their seed and want to have sex with different women? Most of my friends are now married, am I feeling subconscious pressure to find the perfect mate by wanting to try all possible ones?
365daysgone Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Youre not the type of guy who can ever be satisfied with one woman. Do NOT EVER GET MARRIED. Just date, don't get girlfriends. problem solved. Break up with your girlfriend. I feel very sorry for her. Break up with her and just date around for sex. Tons of guys do it nowadays, its not a big deal. Some guys just don't ever evolve, youre one of them Wow. You really see nothing wrong with just sleeping around huh?
ChessPieceFace Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Are there guys who just have this instinctive urge to spread their seed and want to have sex with different women? Yep. A lot of it is biological. Some is learned behavior ... but I've read that testicle size is inversely proportional with fidelity. Anyway, you're not in a good situation for anyone right now. Either figure out how to be faithful and interested in your GF, or cut your GF loose for her sake and yours and go play the field. Cheating isn't a moral option.
Leigh 87 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 There are only too possibly reasons for your "feelings" 1. You are just not in love with your girlfriend, and no were you IN love with your ex. There is a difference between falling genuinely IN love and being head over heals for a women, versus thinking they are " great" initially, but not falling IN love with them, and rather GROWING to "love" them over time. In this case, you just need the right women to compel you to settle down. This takes time, and I urge you to date around until you really feel the "it" factor with a girl. 2. You are simply wired differently from the men who are monogamous with the women they fall in love with. You are best suited to open relationships or swinging. Therefore, find a like mind partner. There are plenty out there. Good luck! Oh. And break up with your g/f. She deserves a guy who is fully in love with her. 2
emva07 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Your stat of 90% is off. Most of my friends don't sleep around and they don't want to either. Do you work at Hooters, are you a stripper or spend a majority of your time in bars / clubs? I only ask because you, your friends and the environments you hang out in attracted a certain type of guy. He shouldn't enter into relationships or a marriage if he continues to feel this way. While I understand you want to disprove this 90% comment, it's not a statistic just a comment. If you are going to disprove it, bring the actual statistic. How does saying "most of my friends don't sleep around" disprove it? There are 8 billion people in this world, your group of friends are just a miniscule sliver. That's like someone saying, "around 90% of humans are redheads, then someone says, "that's not true, none of my friends are redheads" How is that an argument to the comment at hand?? For all you know, you're friends are just part of the 10%
BeholdtheMan Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 While I understand you want to disprove this 90% comment, it's not a statistic just a comment. If you are going to disprove it, bring the actual statistic. How does saying "most of my friends don't sleep around" disprove it? There are 8 billion people in this world, your group of friends are just a miniscule sliver. That's like someone saying, "around 90% of humans are redheads, then someone says, "that's not true, none of my friends are redheads" How is that an argument to the comment at hand?? For all you know, you're friends are just part of the 10% Usually random samples don't stray too far from the big picture
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Am I a commitment phob? Are there guys who just have this instinctive urge to spread their seed and want to have sex with different women? Most of my friends are now married, am I feeling subconscious pressure to find the perfect mate by wanting to try all possible ones? I think you've got to be honest with yourself about the commitment phobe thing because you likely already know the answer....at least to a degree, you don't sound like you're ready to be in a relationship with any one person. You've been together less than six months, so that's not a whole lot of time...but generally that's where the honeymoon phase falls off for a lot of guys, six months to several years depending on your needs. Of course men want to have sex with different women, that's a natural thing to feel...you've got to decide mentally when something is worth investing in for a relationship, you just sound like you're jumping into these things without really thinking it through...and that's what a lot of men do, they're just kind of in auto-pilot doing the whole "everything is so wonderful" thing, then they start soul-searching and considering their feelings and then realize they don't really want to be in a relationship with this person...but that woman is thinking or hoping it'll last and you're building on something. Your withdraw from sex is probably a way for you to disconnect from her, and you satiate your drive with unaffected women...you got to realize that sex isn't just physical/emotional thing, it's also psychological...your mind is probably messing with your desire, you've got to ask yourself what you're holding against her or if in a way you just feel obligated or pressured to be in this and yet truly do not. Personally I can't even relate to masturbation taking away the sex drive with a woman....doesn't make any sense to me. As far as never thinking about sex with another woman...good luck with that one, that's just something that probably never goes away until your d!ck stops working...of course if you're married you've got to deny, deny, deny because your life may depend on it. 1
lookingforanswers9 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I'm having the same issue, but I'm on the side of your girlfriend. It sounded like I was reading a thread from my boyfriend on his perspective. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
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