sickpuppy Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Do girls tend to get vindictive if you don't chase them? Some girls I'd guess like or expect to be chased, and if you don't does it make them angry and want to get back at you in some way? I was wondering if some girls get hurt, then mad and vindictive if a guy doesn't chase them? Like if she at times drops hints about going out and you seemingly ignore them in her eyes or don't initiate texts to her that often. (Not specifically asking you if you want to go out or to come, but let you know where they are in a random conversation possibly saying that so you'll tell them you'll meet them there.) I was wondering especially younger mid twenties possibly that might take that as "rejection" or a guy who has no spine to go for what he wants/has no clue and then get mad and vindictive? Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Women -- well...younger women. Younger women that I've dealt with handle rejections worse than men. The man usually internalizes it and acts like he wasn't phased. I have been called the P word and the F word by chicks for telling them "thanks but no thanks." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrRightNow Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 IME, yes they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickpuppy Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Women -- well...younger women. Younger women that I've dealt with handle rejections worse than men. The man usually internalizes it and acts like he wasn't phased. I have been called the P word and the F word by chicks for telling them "thanks but no thanks." I'm talking about not actually telling them "Thanks but no thanks" and not meaning that at all but simply not being the type to chase after them making them think you are "rejecting" them. Does that make them vindictive and or have some sort of need to "reject" you later on so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 YES! Try telling a girl you just want to be her friend. Tell her you find her friends attractive. Tell her you like her but [insert Gibberish] ... you will feel her wrath. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I'm talking about not actually telling them "Thanks but no thanks" and not meaning that at all but simply not being the type to chase after them making them think you are "rejecting" them. Does that make them vindictive and or have some sort of need to "reject" you later on so to speak. Oh, yes. The ones who are immature will look for ways to get even. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickpuppy Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 YES! Try telling a girl you just want to be her friend. Tell her you find her friends attractive. Tell her you like her but [insert Gibberish] ... you will feel her wrath. I'm talking about not even saying that just simply not chasing her even if you like her. (Talking to her and random texting but not jumping through hoops to get her.) Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I'm talking about not even saying that just simply not chasing her even if you like her. (Talking to her and random texting but not jumping through hoops to get her.) She will think you don't have any serious interest in her. She will be offended. Every girl wants to feel like they're the one and only one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 i agree with truth seeker for the most part......that its not so much the chase but showing interest.....initiating texts to me isnt chasing......i dont think its about being the only one who h ewants but getting an interested response fom the one that you truly want....if there isnt that response then yes ...is rejection... and as far as revenge goes.....there's a saying about having to dig two graves when you seek revenge, that, i believe in.Revenge destroys you as well as the other person....pointless and petty crap...if a guy isnt interested there's not much to do but forget him and move on hanging around waiting for him ....just prolongs the rejection factor.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Yes they do. It gets much worse if their friends get in on it. There will usually be a lot of **** talking about you behind your back. A smear campaign. Just because you ignore a girl showing interest in you or politely decline her. The best thing to do is get another girl outside if their little group and parade her around them. They usually shut the **** up after that. Well, now you're a dog to them, but that is usually better than what they were saying before and if the girl you get is hotter than them....lol Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Yes they do. It gets much worse if their friends get in on it. There will usually be a lot of **** talking about you behind your back. A smear campaign. Just because you ignore a girl showing interest in you or politely decline her. The best thing to do is get another girl outside if their little group and parade her around them. They usually shut the **** up after that. Well, now you're a dog to them, but that is usually better than what they were saying before and if the girl you get is hotter than them....lol Oh, tell me about it! The smear campaign can be really bad. The girl who is hurt will trash you to everyone and anyone... she will make sure she has an army against you. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Yes they do. It gets much worse if their friends get in on it. There will usually be a lot of **** talking about you behind your back. A smear campaign. Just because you ignore a girl showing interest in you or politely decline her. The best thing to do is get another girl outside if their little group and parade her around them. They usually shut the **** up after that. Well, now you're a dog to them, but that is usually better than what they were saying before and if the girl you get is hotter than them....lol I find that the easiest thing to do is just say you have a girlfriend. Throw it casually into conversations, even if it isn't true. Also, my Facebook (before I got a gf) were ambiguous as to whether or not I was single. That comes in handy in situations like these, as well as many others. OP, YES!! Girls can be very vindictive, even if you don't tell them outright that you are not interested. I've had girls yell at me and cause a scene just for not making a move on them when they were interested in me. Of course, there were no repercussions because the rejectee is a woman. If it was the other way around, I'm sure that I would have been kicked out of and banned from that particular establishment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickpuppy Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Yes they do. It gets much worse if their friends get in on it. There will usually be a lot of **** talking about you behind your back. A smear campaign. Just because you ignore a girl showing interest in you or politely decline her. The best thing to do is get another girl outside if their little group and parade her around them. They usually shut the **** up after that. Well, now you're a dog to them, but that is usually better than what they were saying before and if the girl you get is hotter than them....lol I really have a feeling that's been going on..The sht talking behind my back. I can't say definitely as they don't show it but I've got a feeling a few of this little group may smile and chat nice to my face but talk all sort of sht behind my back. (Not that I really care. I actually expect it. It's just what people are going to do...even IF they think the one you've "wronged" isn't so "great" themselves. I just have a feeling that these same girls were told by this other girl I liked that I'd asked her to go out with friends to have fun and she told them or they were partially in on it with her to turn me down and "teach me a lesson" for not chasing over their co-worker. Even IF she truly was never interested in me. I sometimes open up and talk a little too much about what's going on in my life in random conversations and I'm sure it gets back as the grapevine and rumor mill is pretty rampant at my second part time job. (Its a part time for extra money so I don't really mind but just saying.)I need to listen more and talk less. lol I'm not talking about ignoring a girl, just simply not chasing her when she might've been expecting me to. I know that too much chasing usually isn't worth it in the long run. I also wouldn't parade someone new in front of those other people as I find that extremely immature, tacky and a crap thing to do to a new person I'd be talking to as I wouldn't want it done to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickpuppy Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 (edited) I find that the easiest thing to do is just say you have a girlfriend. Throw it casually into conversations, even if it isn't true. Also, my Facebook (before I got a gf) were ambiguous as to whether or not I was single. That comes in handy in situations like these, as well as many others. OP, YES!! Girls can be very vindictive, even if you don't tell them outright that you are not interested. I've had girls yell at me and cause a scene just for not making a move on them when they were interested in me. Of course, there were no repercussions because the rejectee is a woman. If it was the other way around, I'm sure that I would have been kicked out of and banned from that particular establishment. Again I'm not talking about not being interested. But being interested just simply not chasing them. I don't have a Facebook. I deleted it well over a year ago. I found it to be a waste of time and never used it. lol Edited September 16, 2013 by sickpuppy Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Oh, tell me about it! The smear campaign can be really bad. The girl who is hurt will trash you to everyone and anyone... she will make sure she has an army against you. I think both males and females do this......then the hurt goes and you start to say hang on sec.....he isnt that bad.......like this guy recently with me ...wont get into it but he hurt me pretty badly.........made em feel like dirt......said some pretty untrue things .......and i couldnt understand why, so i would question aloud.....and to others......they dont think much of him...because they could see my intentions were innocent and because they seen how much he hurt me they became protective............i didnt mean to smear him.......wasnt intentional..... but now i just asked them not to say anything that there was truth in what he said and thats why it hurt.....they dont talk about him any more ...i just want to move on from it....i was hurt because i cared what he thought i was trying to just be a friend.......that was my mistake not his..not all smear campaigns are intentional and anyone who is hurt needs to talk to someone..i know what it is like to keep past hurts inside and it rips you apart....true or not true...there should never be a code of silence surrounding a person who got hurt by another......that is a little too much to expect......everyone needs support when they get hurt.....not only from god but from those who love them..deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I find that the easiest thing to do is just say you have a girlfriend. Throw it casually into conversations, even if it isn't true. Also, my Facebook (before I got a gf) were ambiguous as to whether or not I was single. That comes in handy in situations like these, as well as many others. OP, YES!! Girls can be very vindictive, even if you don't tell them outright that you are not interested. I've had girls yell at me and cause a scene just for not making a move on them when they were interested in me. Of course, there were no repercussions because the rejectee is a woman. If it was the other way around, I'm sure that I would have been kicked out of and banned from that particular establishment. Only crazy, immature women act this way. I was on vacation once, and me and my buddies were in this one bar having some drinks before going over to the club. There was a counter that ran down the middle of the room and we were standing against that drinking. I was on the end and my buddies were on my left. Anyway this one girl comes up and starts talking to me. She was cute and all but I just got this weird vibe off her after a few minutes. So I started talking to my friends instead which just made it worse. She kept grabbing at my sleeve and whatnot. If the situation was reversed, I would've walked away but she sure didn't LOL. So she found some other guy, and brought him and his crew over and tried to make this big show over it. We finished our drinks and walked out, she grabbed me again and asked where we were going and I lied LOL. CRAZY. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickpuppy Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Yes they do. It gets much worse if their friends get in on it. There will usually be a lot of **** talking about you behind your back. A smear campaign. Just because you ignore a girl showing interest in you or politely decline her. The best thing to do is get another girl outside if their little group and parade her around them. They usually shut the **** up after that. Well, now you're a dog to them, but that is usually better than what they were saying before and if the girl you get is hotter than them....lol I believe you. I at times have gotten from two girls (who have boyfriends) in the girl I liked area that at times made comments like: "Are you gay?" to which I replied: No. Why? Do you want to find out? lol. And one comment the other day about me getting some perfume for my mom. "Oh. are you going to put that on your vagina?" I laughed and took the comments as them just being younger immature kids but also thinking about what I'd said to them a while back that I don't need a girlfriend. Without explaining what I'd meant in that you need to be a complete whole person on your own and not need someone to make you feel complete as if you're a broken person on your own. (I'm thinking those comments may've been made as they knew I wasn't chasing their friend and saw it as me being "weak". I'm sure she mentioned she thought I liked her even though I never said that to her.) I also wouldn't parade someone new in front of those other people as I find that extremely immature, tacky and a crap thing to do to a new person I'd be talking to as I wouldn't want it done to me nor would I do that to "get back" at some girl who felt I meant to do her wrong in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 (edited) I also wouldn't parade someone new in front of those other people as I find that extremely immature, tacky and a crap thing to do to a new person I'd be talking to as I wouldn't want it done to me. I agree. You're just using the new person to get revenge on another person. I had a girl do this to me. She came to a place I was hanging out at only to walk in with a new guy. It only shows how much she liked me and how little she cared for the guy she was with... Edited September 16, 2013 by truth_seeker Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I agree. You're just using the new person to get revenge on another person. I had a girl do this to me. She came to a place I was hanging out at only to walk in with a new guy. It only shows how much she liked me. That's high school / college age behavior. The same thing happened to me in college. My buddies said "Man doesn't that bother you?" And I said "I have other ***** to worry about." Which, it was finals week and it was totally true LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I agree. You're just using the new person to get revenge on another person. I had a girl do this to me. She came to a place I was hanging out at only to walk in with a new guy. It only shows how much she liked me. It's not revenge. It's to get them the **** off my back. That was back in college. Now the only time this happens to me is in gyms. I dunno why people think gyms are off limits for hooking up. It's a ****ing meat market lol. Anyway, all I do is if I notice a girl getting really interested in me and I don't want it, I go to one of the other gyms for a while (I am surrounded by maybe 12 gyms within a 15 minute drive and yes I do have membership to them all). Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 I think both males and females do this......then the hurt goes and you start to say hang on sec.....he isnt that bad.......like this guy recently with me ...wont get into it but he hurt me pretty badly.........made em feel like dirt......said some pretty untrue things .......and i couldnt understand why, so i would question aloud.....and to others......they dont think much of him...because they could see my intentions were innocent and because they seen how much he hurt me they became protective............i didnt mean to smear him.......wasnt intentional..... but now i just asked them not to say anything that there was truth in what he said and thats why it hurt.....they dont talk about him any more ...i just want to move on from it....i was hurt because i cared what he thought i was trying to just be a friend.......that was my mistake not his..not all smear campaigns are intentional and anyone who is hurt needs to talk to someone..i know what it is like to keep past hurts inside and it rips you apart....true or not true...there should never be a code of silence surrounding a person who got hurt by another......that is a little too much to expect......everyone needs support when they get hurt.....not only from god but from those who love them..deb This is why it's hard for men and women to be friends when feelings are involved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tinydancer93 Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 A lot of the time, yes. If you are not that into a girl, do her the courtesy of politely letting her know rather than keeping her wondering and waiting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 a lot of the time, yes. If you are not that into a girl, do her the courtesy of politely letting her know rather than keeping her wondering and waiting. omfg!!!!! Don't do this!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Atem Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 OP - answer is yes. That said, there's a simple solution to all of this: Scenario A - you like the girl - make a goddamn move - if she rejects you, move on - if she accepts, go ahead - if she plays hard to get, move on --> BUT: If you move on, make it clear as in jsut disappear and if she pursues, tell her off. No wishy washy "let's be friends" texts that could confuse her and make her angry. Be CLEAR. Scenario B - you do not like the girl - don't do anything - if she pursues, tell her off nicely but clearly This has ALWAYS worked for me. In case some of the women you're seeing get all upset and start ****-talking you for rejecting them, I'd seriously take a look at the types of people you hang out with. Normal, decent gals wouldn't pull **** like that if you're clear and fair to them (at least the ones I have met have not). PS: Even if a gal ****-talks you, just don't hang out with her and her friends anymore. Make sure the women you date are not part of your work of circle of friends. That'll make things easier. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 A lot of the time, yes. If you are not that into a girl, do her the courtesy of politely letting her know rather than keeping her wondering and waiting. I wanted to edit to say more, but too slow. If a girl did not come up to you and flat out tell you she wants you..........don't assume that she did no matter how very obvious it might seem if what you are going to do is politely let her know to not waste her time because you are not interested. Absolute worst thing you can do......I know it as a fact. Trust me, you don't want to go down that road lol Let her keep wondering. Till she actually tells you or goes away. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts