DASHIZNICK Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 A couple weeks ago, a girl asked me out. We went on two fantastic dates only two days apart. She kissed and she thanked me via text the next day. During the dates, she repeatedly stated how into me she was. I asked her out again a couple days later and she bailed on me last minute. Asked her a couple days after that to which she said she was "too tired." No problem with this because before dates 1 and 2 she had cancelled too. But, a couple days more after that, I asked her out and she says she has to attend a funeral. I said, "I understand," and she responded with ":)" I haven't contacted her since that and it's been about two weeks. Due to work, I need to interact with her occasionally. I am scheduled to see her again on Wednesday. I don't know what caused a change in opinion so quickly, but it could be because of my over-persistence. But I thought I was just responding the amount that she wanted... Do I have a chance with this girl or should I cut my losses?? She's never been shy about initiating contact in the past.
HappyLove Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Her canceling before dates 1&2 already showed you the type if person this was.
Author DASHIZNICK Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Sorry Happy, could you expand on that thought? She's a very busy girl, and should clarify that she asked me out on date 1.
tinydancer93 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 A couple weeks ago, a girl asked me out. We went on two fantastic dates only two days apart. She kissed and she thanked me via text the next day. During the dates, she repeatedly stated how into me she was. I asked her out again a couple days later and she bailed on me last minute. Asked her a couple days after that to which she said she was "too tired." No problem with this because before dates 1 and 2 she had cancelled too. But, a couple days more after that, I asked her out and she says she has to attend a funeral. I said, "I understand," and she responded with ":)" I haven't contacted her since that and it's been about two weeks. Due to work, I need to interact with her occasionally. I am scheduled to see her again on Wednesday. I don't know what caused a change in opinion so quickly, but it could be because of my over-persistence. But I thought I was just responding the amount that she wanted... Do I have a chance with this girl or should I cut my losses?? She's never been shy about initiating contact in the past. My guess is that she is no longer interested. If you want to be sure, just ask her. Perhaps say something like, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope things are well. Are you still interested in meeting up again?" Good luck! 2
Scales Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 You might have ended up coming off needy with the text replies and trying to see her again too soon. I would have said that except she canceled the first 2 dates. Man I would sit back and chill, if she wants you she can come and get you. People who cancel, especially last minute, are sometimes truthful but most of the time not. "Too Tired" though. Nope, get your dozy ass out of bed because we are about to have some romance. Don't let your brain hormones trick into overlooking red flags. This girl isn't worth the trouble unless she attempts to contact you again. If she cancels again you better douse that bridge with kerosene. Fwoooommmmmm 1
Atem Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Both scales & tiny have good points. She sounds like trouble but if you really are loosing sleep over this - send her a clear text asking her whether she wants to see you again, which is kind of a yes/no question. If she doesn't respond, says no or responds with some wishy washy evasive maneuver, bail immediately. If she says yes and you're thaaaat into her, meet her again and tread carefully from there (though once a flake --> always a flake comes to midn with her). However, if she agrees to meet and then flakes again, cut her out. Life's too short for silly games and the world is ful lwith nice gals. Find one that doesn't **** around. 1
Lansing Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Your best course of action is to probably just forget about her and move on... IF she contacts you again, I would be hesitant to even respond unless it is an invite out. I hate people that cancel and then expect YOU to ask them out again. Really the ball is in her court at this point. I cancelled on a close guy friend because I was just exhausted and I didn't feel like I would be good company that night but I made it clear about other days we could hang out/etc and I kept to that. Same should apply with regards to dating prospects.
OnlyHonesty Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 (edited) You asked whether you have a chance with this girl. I think the more important question to ask is 'why would you want a chance with this girl'. As far as I am concerned, she has proven herself unreliable, uninterested and she has cancelled multiple times. Clearly she does not value your company or appreciate your straight forward no nonsense approach. My advice to you would be to cut your losses and learn from this. How many times will you allow someone to cancel on you and still pursue them? I think it is a matter of self respect and esteem and boundaries. I would probably give someone the benefit of doubt if they flaked once but then after that, I would see it as disrespectful unless they explained themselves and made it clear it was a one off or there was a genuine reason. Setting, having and keeping boundaries can be tough when concerning matters of the heart but in the long run, it is essential. Edited September 16, 2013 by OnlyHonesty
ChessPieceFace Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 If you like her and aren't sure about her motives, why not try a couple more times. Maybe she really was just busy. I don't see how much would be lost by the attempt.
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