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Is my relationship with my ex husband normal?


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Posted

My ex husband and I divorced 10 years ago after 25 together. There was just no point anymore, but now it's the stupidest thing I've ever done. We went a year without really seeing each other, but that's ended.

 

We go out to dinner, we see movies, we talk on the phone, we go out with friends together. He still introduces me as his wife and he's my husband. We have just sat and cried before because of it.

 

Is or relationship weird? Our oldest daughter always says we're weirdos for "dating" each other. But for me, it's almost like we're still married.

Posted

do you ever feel like reconciliation is in the air?.....it isnt normal to "date " your ex husband and the relationship you have...sounds to me like a marriage also......movies dinner you introduce him as your husband and he introduces you as a wife...all you have to do is get married again and make it official...i am guessing there is no physical intimacy .....

 

 

 

apart from breaking down and crying together which is actually quite intimate and a vulnerability that is only often shared between close and intimate partners....you feel like it was a big mistake sounds like he does too...what do you want to do or feel like should happen if this relationship remains the way it is? Do you think its possible to remarry?....deb

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Posted

We still have physical intimacy from time to time, we also take breaks and see other people but don't stick with them for more than a few months ( his longest has been 3, mine was 5). Our friends still consider us married.

 

He did ask me to get back together with him, but I told him no. He never asked again. He didn't want the divorce either but I insisted. We get along better now than we were for along time. I think it might be because we live separately now, but we both still refer to my house as our house.

 

We have three daughters all very close in age ( well four, our first passed away when she was a year, we still hang up her stocking every year and have her pictures up) we also have five grand kids.

Posted

Maybe reconciliation is what you want, OP? I don't think your ex would bring it up as you've rejected him once, but it seems like he is someone you still want to be with. Life is too short for regrets.

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Posted

I do think we were meant for each other, but I think I broke his heart too badly. He is such a great father, and grandfather. He kept his ring and mine, they're in a little box together in his dresser, I saw it the other day while I was hanging up his shirts I ironed.

Posted
I do think we were meant for each other, but I think I broke his heart too badly. He is such a great father, and grandfather. He kept his ring and mine, they're in a little box together in his dresser, I saw it the other day while I was hanging up his shirts I ironed.

 

Even if you did break his heart, a lot of time has passed and seems to have forgiven you. I doubt he would be the way he is with you if he still held a grudge. He even asked you to get back together and you refused him. Maybe you're afraid that things will go sour again. What happens if he finds someone that he really likes and decides to let go of your relationship forever?

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Posted
Why didn't you want to be married anymore?

 

We had been together since we were 16. we had all of our kids very young. He just wasnt exciting anymore. He never wanted to go out, or be intimate, or even talk sometimes. I had to practically beg for the last year of our marriage to even go for a walk, even more for sex. He just didn't act like he loved me. So I went looking for someone else. Then I realized I had just given up the love of my life, we started the arrangement we have now about 8 years ago.

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