Ireallydontknow Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I write this because I thought I was ready. It had been 5 weeks since the BU 5 weeks NC. I met a girl online and we instantly hit it off. As she got closer I started feeling worse. I was having my ex in the back of my mind. I thought how you aren't as pretty as her, not as stimulating as her, nothing, nothing seemed to be good enough. It wasn't fair to this person. I did however warn her up front that I'm going to come with a lot of baggage from a 5 year relationship. I tried to like her, but yesterday she got fed up with me and asked me to write what I wanted and get back with her. The first line I wrote was "I'm not ready." I was a wreck, sobbing as I continued to write. Eventually I told her and she got upset too. It's made me feel way, way, worse in the end. It was a learning experience as I now know. I need more time, and then I saw some red flags too. I think sometimes we miss the touch of another human being and rush into something. A friend of my ex did that, took the first person who would accept here and gets into these strange relationships where she bends to their will, eventually they sour. So take it slow everyone. I don't see how people rebound! Stay strong. 2
Brown-Eyez Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 this is a very important post I think when we are heartbroken we look to someone new to help us feel better and then end up re-creating the cycle of heartbreak by dumping the new someone who then becomes heartbroke themselves and then looks for someone new to help themselves feel better and the cycle goes on & on why can't we just HEAL first from the original heartbreak and THEN move on?? 1
Sparkle304 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I couldn't agree with you more! I know some people get out there and date as a strategy to overcome a BU, however if you're not ready it only brings on more heartbreak - for both you and the new person you're dating. Right now, I'm mending my self-esteem after being suddenly dumped by a guy who wasn't over his ex-wife (despite claiming and professing that he was). It HURTS! Please be truthful with yourself........don't head down the road of a relationship when you know you're not ready! 1
Author Ireallydontknow Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 Well I -thought- I was ready. I now know that I'm not. I told her I couldn't share my heart and I was divided right now. I cant take your words and compare them to my ex, it isn't fair! Then as I was saying how I wasn't ready she became very needy, which scared the hell out of me even more. She tried to get me to promise me that I would date her as soon as I'm ready and I couldn't. I now know for sure it's time to let time take it's course. Because as messed up as it sounds no body compares to my ex, but in due time I'm hoping to find the one who just sweeps me off my feet and I can stop the association and be happy.
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