euro26 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Hello, I have been following this forum for a while and thought I would share my personal problem. Brief overview I broke up with my ex 2 months ago. Out of the blue, she said she is not happy with me. We were together over 3 years and we were both eachothers "first" love. I'm 21, she is 20. After 2-3 days of deep analyzing I realized that I wasn't actually putting enough effort in this relationship, I took her for granted and was too comfortable. I think I lost my interest in her since I had my own problems (both financially and mentally). Anyhow, I really wanted to fix things so I started to beg and made gifts etc, but nothing helped. After a week of breakup and me being extremely nice to her, I realized that she have a rebound. I went completely mad about it and told her to not contact me unless she wants to fix things and have dumped the rebound. At the sametime I kept improving myself, I started to run, got my first real job + I'm also in the university. After 4-5 days of NC I started to receive breadcumbs from her and I was stupid enough to meet her. However, she was still cold to me. I thought that this is normal and we met few times after that as well, but I still felt she is not 100% wanting to get back together. Again, I told her that I'm not feeling it right now and wished her luck with her new BF. She went mad about it and told that the new BF is anything serious and they are just friends. I didn't care and went NC again... I was NC for 4-5 days again and she kept talking to me on FB + sending messages, but I didn't answer. One day, 7 days after the NC she found me on uni and really-really wanted to talk. We talked, she told me that she loves me etc and there is nothing serious about her rebound. She told me that if I stick with her, we'll get back in no-time. Again, I was stupid enough to take those breadcumbs and we started to talk on daily basis. However, I still felt that she is not actually wanting to get back together right now and is STILL meeting her rebound. The thing that made angry was that were supposed to watch a movie on Friday evening, but she told me that "I'm not feeling very well and I would rather stay at home". In other words: "I'm not interested in watching movie with you, but if you really want I can do that". Well, I told her that she should stop talking to me and giving me BS words like "I want to be with you", "You are the love of my life" unless she REALLY mean it. I don't want to be in the relationship where I'am 100% committed and she is 50% committed. I went NC for the 3rd time, blocked her on FB as well as blocked her number (using somesort of app). So far I have gotten 4 text-messages and 12 calls that were all blocked. I could still read them and they were mostly "what happend?" "why don't you want to talk with me" etc BS. She knows exactly what I want and it's 100% commitment from both of us. I also told her not the contact me again unless she means it FOR REAL and unless she has dumped the rebound. Few words to the end... Well, what should be my next steps...? I'm feeling that my ego is growing and most definitely I'm not taking her breadcumbs anymore. I thought that the only way for us to get back together is that she has to come to my house with cried eyes and saying "I love you, I did a mistake". Everything else from her is BS - as you can read it above... So, right now she is unable to contact me by any means. She can only reach me up on uni, but I think I should be rough to her and not even talk to her. She can manipulate me so well that It's crazy. I always forgive her and think that our relationship will get better, but well it isn't unless she is really putting in effort in it. + I know she is missing me and wanting me (at least some part) since always after 3-4-5 days of NC she keeps messaging, texting and calling to me + wanting to meet. But when we meet, she gets cold again and says she doesn't want to get back together, not just yet... + I have heard that the rebound guy is all over the place for her, but my ex seems not to be interested in her. So basically, they met up, but as my ex said - it actually seems there is nothing serious going on since the rebound is needy/clingy and my ex is not toooo interested in him. However, I think it's the right time to back off immediately, otherwise their "relationship" might get into the next phase. Or maybe I should stay at the picture? I rather think no. What should I do? am I doing the right thing by blocking everything? What should I do @ uni when see reaches me up? Thanks
kayjay85 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 ignore her!!! simple as. I have been dumped by ex long story. we stayed in contact for 11 weeks after and it just got my hopes up. we both broke no contact and made things worse. I had a talk to my ex and told him i am not strong enough to commit to no contact so if icontacted him would he just not reply. And its worked its been about a week now i have messaged him once or twice with no reply. It does hrt but its for the best atleast one person has to be strong.
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