indigolove Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 So my fiancée is letting my best friend sleep in bed with us. I've already posted a thread telling why in the Friendship forum. I am beyond pissed off right now. They see nothing wrong with this at all. I already told my fiancée we all won't fit. Still he insists she sleep in bed with us. Right now as I type this they are laying in bed while I ****ing sit in the floor and watch a movie and are just having a conversation like I'm not even here. I'm tired as **** and want to go to sleep but can't because I refuse to sleep in the middle of them! Why should I ****ing have to!!? I am too nice to say gtfo. He's going to get it tomorrow though. How could he share our bed with another chick? Like really! We're engaged for Christ's sakes!! We've lived together for about 4 years now and engaged for three. This is totally not ****ing acceptable. I'm not wrong for being mad. But am I overreacting?
Author indigolove Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 I'm so mad I'm shaking and no one notices.
2sunny Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Why aren't you standing up and telling to her get out? And get mad at him for allowing/suggesting it!!! It's a recipe for disaster! 2
LBlanc Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 No you're not wrong, your Fiancee is being inconsiderate. And if i was in your position, I would leave then text him back that i was just having this drink with a guy friend and decided to sleep in the same bed with him... in his house. ...let's see how he'd like that... 3
CC12 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I am too nice to say gtfo. You're not being nice, you're being a doormat. Get up off the floor, tell your friend to get out of your bed because you're going to sleep now. If she doesn't like it, she can stay the night somewhere else. If your fiance doesn't like it, he can do the same. 7
2sunny Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 You let her move in? NO!!! Start saying NO!!!!! Sounds like your BF intends to keep her there - and that is not a good sign for your R. 2
PogoStick Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Got room for 1 more? I sleep naked BTW. 3
Author indigolove Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 I have a serious problem with assertiveness ans confrontation. I've been this way forever. I know what I need to do but can't. Even thinking about saying something makes me want to vomit. But in all honesty he will probably get his ass kicked tomorrow. This is the second time I've been in a situation like this with him but with another friend.
CC12 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Even thinking about saying something makes me want to vomit. Vomit on the bed. Then no one will sleep there. Problem solved. Seriously, though, I have problems myself with assertiveness and confrontation, but sometimes it's just completely necessary. In this situation, you don't have to second guess yourself and wonder whether a confrontation would be the right thing. Another woman has replaced you in your own bed. If there were ever a time to stand up for yourself, it's now. You can do it in a "nice" way since you're a nice person. Tell her, "Friend, I should have said something before, but I'm not comfortable with you sleeping in my bed. I'm tired and want to go to sleep. Please go somewhere else." This is a very reasonable request and any non-****head will comply. Don't even think about it, just go tell her that. Wake her up if you have to. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Is your finace hoping to have a threesome with you two or something? This is beyond bizarre and inappropriate. Tell her to find another place to sleep immediately. Who cares if your fiance is upset? He doesn't care that you're upset. Part of me hopes that this isn't a real post... 2
PlumPrincess Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Is he trying to have a threesome with you and your friend and did you agree to that? If not, I would probably throw a fit at that moment and kick them both out. Which would probably end the relationship, but maybe it would be the best. I also have a tendency to let people walk over me, but after a while I explode (I'm probably some sort of mini Hulk ) and while I don't think that is ideal (ideal would be to assert myself before in a measured way or to be the kind of person people do not try to mess with), I'm clinging to the belief that it's a tiny bit better than to let everybody walk all over you.
Author indigolove Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 There was not going to be any threesome. This is a real post. I know it seems unbelievable believe me. (Oh and I don't do threesomes anyway because I find them weird and inappropriate and I get extremely jealous) they're seriously both ****ing idiots! If I could take a picture right now I so ****ing would.
CC12 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 If I could take a picture right now I so ****ing would. Why can't you take a picture?
Author indigolove Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 It's too dark in here and my phone.makes a loud ass noise when it takes pictures
forgetmenot75 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 This thread is so weird... YOU are so weird! I'm cracking up right now, how come she is still your friend? How come he is still your boyfriend? If you like to be used as a doormat, you're doing a fantastic job 4
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 This thread is so weird... YOU are so weird! I'm cracking up right now, how come she is still your friend? How come he is still your boyfriend? If you like to be used as a doormat, you're doing a fantastic job Yes, this is one of the worst cases of "doormat syndrome" that I've ever heard. Congrats, OP. You are now officially a Nice Girl. 1
CC12 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 It's too dark in here and my phone.makes a loud ass noise when it takes pictures Oh, right, you wouldn't want to disturb their slumber.
PlumPrincess Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Oh, right, you wouldn't want to disturb their slumber. I suggest bringing their favorite breakfast in the morning after they had a long refreshing sleep. 3
CC12 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I need quicker updates, OP. Pretend you're on twitter. Still sitting on floor & shaking w/ rage. Bestie + fiance on bed togethr giggling @ dumb movie wtf #notathreesome Tyler Perry movies = not funny so what are they even laughing at It's dark in there so camera phone might bother them. better just go to sleep at the foot of the bed now 1
soccerrprp Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I'm finding it very difficult to believe that this is a serious post... 1
phineas Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I'm finding it very difficult to believe that this is a serious post... Same, but if it is where can I meet a woman like this? j/k I don't think I have it in me to treat someone like this unless they did something really bad to someone I knew.
gaius Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Just wait until her vagina is cold and he has to stick his penis in to warm it up. It's the only hospitable thing to do.
nescafe1982 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 I have a serious problem with assertiveness ans confrontation. I've been this way forever. But this is a perfect opportunity to get some experience being assertive! Put your foot down. It will be good for you. I know what I need to do but can't. Yes you can. You don't have a gun to your head and you are capable of speech. It's going to be scary but you will have to do it anyway. You will be amazed at how much more powerful and confident you feel after. The more you stand your ground and practice assertiveness, the more confident you will become. Eventually you won't have any trouble drawing the line with your SO. Don't cave on this one. Your SO needs to learn some boundaries, and in this case you have to set them. Good luck and RAWR!
2sunny Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 You are in no situation to consider marrying him. He engages in actions that hurts your feelings by not having a boundary. You are not adept at telling him how you feel when situations arise. He seems to consider a 3-some while you don't. Learn to communicate effectively in the moment you feel hurt/betrayed. You need to do this before you marry.
Recommended Posts