MrE Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 this week my best friend died.He had just got back from iraq a month ago. & Miraculously I think my BIpolar has either been cured or helped me.As much as i should have been broken all week i can make remarks like im strong like tiger penis.The reality has set in & im not pushing the issue aside.I was wondering how any of you may have dealt with a situation like this? I think im comfortable with my inability to break down & cry & just sit there moping & saying WHY WHY.I feel as if i have grown up dramatically.
JackieQ Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 I'm sorry about your friend. I felt that way when someone close to me died also. I think it helped me get thru the funeral and days after. For me, the bad feelings came a few months later and were hard at first to connect to her death. I just felt "Bad"..alot for no reason. Point is that people react differently to having love ones die. Doesn't mean you didn't care about him or that you're being disrespectful. jackie.q
Author MrE Posted November 26, 2004 Author Posted November 26, 2004 Cool beens Im still not feelin down though the funeral is over a week ago.Maybe what it is is that him & I before he went to iraq kinda made a pact to not dwell on eachothers passing.I do feel guilty though for gloating in my ability to deal with his passing but in my perspective someone has to be a bowl when every one turns to jelly.
aFighter Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 Back when I was 7yrs old my best friend at the time was killed in a road accident. I still miss him 22yrs later
niko1999 Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 Everyone deals with greif in different ways. This is just your way of dealing with it. Becuase you know this is how your freind would have WANTED you to deal with it. But I know what you mean about not breaking down and just crying. You feel it is the right thing to do , right? Two days before graduation this year, my freind died. He drowned. Someone I had lost touch with, though we went to school together. But he was always there. Always there to genuinally ask you how you were doing, and really wanted to know. And I assumed he would always be there. But anway, to get to my point I guess. I never broke down and cried either. I didnt go to his funeral, I went to where he drowned, took my tassle, the one I wore during graduation, and threw it in the water for him. Along with a yellow rose. But I never sat down and just cried over it. I get teary eyed sometimes, thinking about him, but I never bawled the way most people do when they lose a freind. It was just my way of dealing wiht it. becuase I knew what a happy person he was all the time, and he wouldnt want me being sad about his being gone. So I dont think your weird in the way youre behaving, its just your way of mourning. And perhaps, when he went to Iraq, though he came home, you may have already said goodbye when he left.
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Sorry about your bestfriend. Ouch your heart. Hang on to the memories, know he loved you and always remember he's out there somewhere...His energy is still around. All the best. WWIU
whichwayisup Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 I think im comfortable with my inability to break down & cry & just sit there moping & saying WHY WHY.I feel as if i have grown up dramatically. Men from day one are programmed to be tough guys. Ya fall down and hurt yourself. Mommy holds ya, lets you cry. Your father tells you, Suck it up boy. Come on, don't cry... SO boys get MAD...Hense later in life, MEN get MAD instead of crying. Make sense? My husband doesn't cry much. But when he does, I hold him and cry with him. Crying is good for the soul.
VivianLee Posted November 28, 2004 Posted November 28, 2004 Sometimes when a person is hit with an extreme circumstance, their mind is able to go into shock, which causes the person to not feel the raw nerve of (in your case) loss. That can be such a blessing. Don't feel badly if a month later, you start feeling down or even break down crying. You still will have to go through the grieving process.....all of it will be quite normal but a bit unpleasant. Right now though, your mind is giving you time to process and waiting till you can deal....you are doing fine....you can do a search on the Internet about grief and it will tell you what to expect (steps of grief), that way you'll know it's just normal grief and not your being bi-polar.... I am so sorry for your loss....
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