Simon Phoenix Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 let it be forever? should i contact her like in a couple of months or something? not like bring up the fight, but check up on her? Your actions have pretty much nullified your ability to make a move for at least the next year. So yeah, it's up to her to reach out to you.
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 so what should i do. should i talk to her or no??
Simon Phoenix Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 so what should i do. should i talk to her or no?? You haven't read this thread have you? Or you are just going to keep asking until someone gives you the answer you want to hear.
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 half of you are saying let it be, and the other have is saying to send her the right message..
Simon Phoenix Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 half of you are saying let it be, and the other have is saying to send her the right message.. I think one person said to contact and everyone else said no. Either way, the answer is hell fu*king no do not contact her. Of course I'm sure you'll ignore this and keep asking. 1
reddragon588 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i said "i hope you find someone who will stick around with you, because you are a handful. i'm going to be with a girl who actually knows how to love someone, because there are girls who want to be with me." i was out of line and didn't mean what i said. I don't think that's really that bad. Maybe you shouldn't have said "you're a handful" but you were being honest. You need to not contact her. Let it be. Contacting her will only upset her.
cif Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 half of you are saying let it be, and the other have is saying to send her the right message.. I vote yes .. but this is how... first she made it clear she wants to be left alone and you must respect that. So, if you really need to get thkngs off your chest send her an email not text ..put everything you want to say in it like it's the last time you will ever contact her. Then make the last statement: you have made it clear you want no more contact from me and i will respect your wishes. You will not hear from me ever again until you choose to contact me first. Then move on with your life.
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 i guess an email would be ideal. i'm just so broken right now. she was a big part of my life, and its hard to just let go like this. i never thought she would just cut me off like this.
forgetmenot75 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i guess an email would be ideal. i'm just so broken right now. she was a big part of my life, and its hard to just let go like this. i never thought she would just cut me off like this. Go ahead and contact her. You'll feel terrible if you don't get the answer you'll looking for, and that's more than probable given the fact she doesn't want to hear about you ever again. 1
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Go ahead and contact her. You'll feel terrible if you don't get the answer you'll looking for, and that's more than probable given the fact she doesn't want to hear about you ever again. the answer i'm looking for is just for her to acknowledge me, i apologized for the things i've done, but didn't get anything. what i really want is for her to get back with me, but i have to be realistic, thats not going to happened now. this silent treatment shes using with me is driving me crazy, its emotionally abusive.
Waz Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 OP, Don't contact her at all. I don't know what you two fought about, but you said that you reacted, you were not the one who started this. So, at first she said that, and then you answered, defending yourself which is normal thing to do. Again, if the reason you argued, wasn't something you did and pissed her (or something rational against you), and was something else, something irrelevant, then you have all the rights of the world. Well, assuming this, IMO, if you apologize first, it will seem like, the things she said about you, were a fact and you shouldn't had reacted. Also, by her reaction to what you said, she seems to have really low self-confidence and jealousy issues. Leave her alone. It seems to me that she is the one who should leave you alone. Your response was nothing in comparison to what she said, it was a pretty logical response. Geez, i don't know why you even feel guilty. For the last time, i suggest all these IF the argument you had with her, wasn't about you, or it was something irrational from her part. 1
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Geez, i don't know why you even feel guilty. i feel guilty because i made up a lie that i want to be with other girls, when in reality i don't, i want to be with her. i tried to make her jealous and it did work. but i know she's pissed off about it and she thinks its true even though i told her i lied and apologized.
lauri Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 The best thing to do is just let thing to do is let things cool down and let them just fall into place.
todreaminblue Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I think one person said to contact and everyone else said no. Either way, the answer is hell fu*king no do not contact her. Of course I'm sure you'll ignore this and keep asking. i would be that one huh.... that is why i said do it once thats the closure..he is going to anyway i would bet on that....deb 1
Simon Phoenix Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i would be that one huh.... that is why i said do it once thats the closure..he is going to anyway i would bet on that....deb And I would bet he gets no sort of closure from it. The amount of people that actually get closure from contact is about the same as the amount of people who get their ex back with a ridiculous romantic gesture. I mean, if he got closure from it, that'd be great, but I feel like it's going to turn into a cycle of clingyness, self-loathing and heartache. That's what usually happens.
Trimmer Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i never thought she would just cut me off like this. After saying this: "i hope you find someone who will stick around with you, because you are a handful. i'm going to be with a girl who actually knows how to love someone, because there are girls who want to be with me." You are really mystified that she would eventually cut you off? Really? what i really want is for her to get back with me, but i have to be realistic, thats not going to happened now. this silent treatment shes using with me is driving me crazy, its emotionally abusive. I'm sorry - you may be sad, you may be upset, you may be hurting badly, but you need to get some perspective. You are not being abused. You guys fought. She told you that she was done, and she's acting precisely in accordance with that. You don't "deserve" (as you said) anything, you are not entitled to anything, and just because she has decided to move on, and is not doing what you want her to do, that doesn't mean she's abusing you. That's an insult to people who really are on the receiving end of abuse. Get a grip, man.
Trimmer Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 that is why i said do it once thats the closure..he is going to anyway i would bet on that....deb This somewhat echoes Simon's point above, but be thoughtful here for a moment: say he sends the Email and most likely she stays true to her stated intentions and does not answer or acknowledge. Do you think that's going to feel like closure to the OP? Beware relying on the other person for your own "closure."
barky2 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Trust us on this one op. The more you push the further shell go. If you want any chance with her,ever, you'll leave her alone until she contacts you. Think of this, for every single text you send to her from here on out, will push her away for a week. Think about it before you empty your heart 9/10 of us have been in your spot and we know what DOESNT WORK. And you, will be joining us if you hit send on a text,call or email at this point. Barky
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Trust us on this one op. The more you push the further shell go. If you want any chance with her,ever, you'll leave her alone until she contacts you. Think of this, for every single text you send to her from here on out, will push her away for a week. Think about it before you empty your heart 9/10 of us have been in your spot and we know what DOESNT WORK. And you, will be joining us if you hit send on a text,call or email at this point. Barky when we broke up before, i contacted her and convinced her so many times to come back... it did work. but now she's become someone else, she resents me so much. i can't take this.
barky2 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 yes you convinced bagged I pleaded for her to come back. the real problem was never fixed of why you guys are breaking up you should take this time to leave her alone and figure out why you guys continue to break up the more you push the further shell go I promise you that Barky
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 yes you convinced bagged I pleaded for her to come back. the real problem was never fixed of why you guys are breaking up you should take this time to leave her alone and figure out why you guys continue to break up the more you push the further shell go I promise you that Barky she did say "the more you push me, the more i don't want it." i realised that i begged her to come back, and she did. i didn't give us space to heal, just jumped right back into the fire. i was giving 100%, taking her on trips, planning special dates, getting her gifts. but she was so distant, she wasn't ready to give me her all.
barky2 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Of course she said that. Of course I did. Duhhh Listen man, she was distant and never gave u 100%. She's also like that now. So give her time to open back up to you. That means DONT CONTACT HER. And if she does contact you, post here and get insight on how to handle it before responding...sounds corny but some of us have been in your exact sspot, and wish we coulddone or said things different Trust us Barky
Author Jord Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 i guess i shouldn't contact her, i don't even know what to say, because no matter how much i beg and convince her how good we could be, it won't change her heart. i know she's going to miss all the attention i gave her. whats been bugging me too is that i'm afraid she's in a rebound, but i have no way of knowing.
Zahara Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 i guess i shouldn't contact her, i don't even know what to say, because no matter how much i beg and convince her how good we could be, it won't change her heart. i know she's going to miss all the attention i gave her. whats been bugging me too is that i'm afraid she's in a rebound, but i have no way of knowing. How good you could be together? You kept breaking up with each other. How is that good for both of you? At some point, the threats, the attacks, take a toll and it gets really, really old. At that point don't be surprised when the other just disappears. Mainly for self-preservation but it could also be that they've finally checked-out.
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