Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 i need help with this, i don't know where to turn to, so i joined this. so without getting into much detail, me and my ex were off and on all the time. we got into a big fight a couple of days ago, and she dumped me for good. i said things that really hurt her, that i didn't mean. she said to leave her alone forever. i tried to talk to call her but she has been ignoring me. i'm starting to get worried, whenever we fought we would talk it out. but i'm afraid of what's happening with her..its not like her to act like this. i just want to send a text like this. "hi (ex), can we please talk about this? i haven't been myself for a while and you know i'm a good person, i don't deserve to be cut off like this. i know i messed up, and i could apologize so many times.." so what else should i say?
Ordinaryday Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 You dont 'have to' send her anything, it is your choice. Sending any message will just look pathetic, needy and clingy and make her lose even more respect for you. Leave her alone, don't reach out and she may come back after she has cooled off. A big may though. But sending any message like that will push her further away
ForeverHopeful1 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Stop making a fool out of yourself. Remember, there is always a final straw. This may have been it for her. She may not want to talk again. 1
todreaminblue Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 i need help with this, i don't know where to turn to, so i joined this. so without getting into much detail, me and my ex were off and on all the time. we got into a big fight a couple of days ago, and she dumped me for good. i said things that really hurt her, that i didn't mean. she said to leave her alone forever. i tried to talk to call her but she has been ignoring me. i'm starting to get worried, whenever we fought we would talk it out. but i'm afraid of what's happening with her..its not like her to act like this. i just want to send a text like this. "hi (ex), can we please talk about this? i haven't been myself for a while and you know i'm a good person, i don't deserve to be cut off like this. i know i messed up, and i could apologize so many times.." so what else should i say? its hard when you say things that you get once you have said them,worse is the guilt you feel for hurting someone....if you can give me a round about idea of what you said to hurt her, not too graphic but what was the line it was on that hurt her..... ...i will see if i can help you with one last apology.....and then you leave it....so give me the broad lines....deb
JDPT Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Don't embarrassed yourself furthered, she pulled the plug.
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 its hard when you say things that you get once you have said them,worse is the guilt you feel for hurting someone....if you can give me a round about idea of what you said to hurt her, not too graphic but what was the line it was on that hurt her..... ...i will see if i can help you with one last apology.....and then you leave it....so give me the broad lines....deb i said "i hope you find someone who will stick around with you, because you are a handful. i'm going to be with a girl who actually knows how to love someone, because there are girls who want to be with me." i was out of line and didn't mean what i said.
todreaminblue Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 i said "i hope you find someone who will stick around with you, because you are a handful. i'm going to be with a girl who actually knows how to love someone, because there are girls who want to be with me." i was out of line and didn't mean what i said. After you read this message it will be the last from me, I will respect your wishes not to communicate with me..... I wish that i could take back what i said to you, unfortunately i cant,I lost my cool and said things that were totally out of line.I could apologize over and over but it wouldnt make a difference for you to forget what i said. If ever you want to talk this through we always used to be able to talk through our arguments, i know this time is different I would like to do just that.That is your decision to make .I am here if you need to talk.......If I dont hear from you again.I wish you all the best...... even if she doesnt call you you have closure with respect for her attached.....i hope things work out for you...sometimes exes are exes for a reason./....and that is.....it was never meant to be.....best wishes........deb 2
forgetmenot75 Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Respect she doesn't want to hear from you and don't send anything. You are just looking for excuses to contact her. There is no emergency. 3
todreaminblue Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 After you read this message it will be the last from me, I will respect your wishes not to communicate with me..... I wish that i could take back what i said to you, unfortunately i cant,I lost my cool and said things that were totally out of line.I could apologize over and over but it wouldnt make a difference for you to forget what i said. If ever you want to talk this through we always used to be able to talk through our arguments, i know this time is different,but we could give it a try.That is your decision to make .I am here if you need to talk.......If I dont hear from you again.I wish you all the best...... changed a few inconsistent sentences
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 if i just leave her alone and not do anything about this, what are the chances of her coming back?
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 if i just leave her alone and not do anything about this, what are the chances of her coming back? There are no "odds" to give, but you can bet she won't come back if you don't lay off. 1
Trimmer Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 Things not to say, because they make you sound stupid: i said things ... that i didn' mean. Translation: I made up things specifically with the intention to hurt the other person. Saying "I didn't mean it" only amplifies the fact that what you DID mean to do was to hurt. she said to leave her alone forever. i tried to talk to call her but she has been ignoring me. That would be consistent with "leave me alone forever..." i'm starting to get worried, whenever we fought we would talk it out. but i'm afraid of what's happening with her... What are you worried about? She's acting exactly in accordance with what she said. its not like her to act like this. What, to do what she says she's going to do? What you really mean is, "I want to pretend it's not like her to act in a way other than how I want her to act." i just want to send a text like this. "hi (ex), can we please talk about this? i haven't been myself for a while ... Ewww, ick. Using "I haven't been myself for a while" as an excuse for hurtful behavior? That's supposed to make her feel better about you? To feel like she can count on you? To my ear, that just says: you can't count on who I'm going to be. I think she reached her breaking point, and she made a change. Nothing in your proposed message is likely to change that.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 The best way to apologize is to respect her wishes and leave well enough alone. That's really the only way you'll have an opportunity to talk to her again. 2
darkmoon Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 (edited) "i don't deserve to be cut off like this" you hurt her feelings and you deserve whatever she sees fit, this is not your call tell her you are going to counselling, sorry, but you need it, or cognitive therapy show her you are making some effort, I mean to say, you wouldn't dare talk to a boss like that, ffs your verbal abuse is a red flag, sort your head out Edited September 15, 2013 by darkmoon 1
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 "i don't deserve to be cut off like this" you hurt her feelings and you deserve whatever she sees fit, this is not your call tell her you are going to counselling, sorry, but you need it, or cognitive therapy show her you are making some effort, I mean to say, you wouldn't dare talk to a boss like that, ffs your verbal abuse is a red flag, sort your head out she was also very verbally abusive, she said things first to me that made me react to her.
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 If you do decide to contact her make your contact LESS about you and more about your harm to her. re-read what you posted. It's all about YOU and how YOU are hurt and what shes doing to YOU. If you are sorry for hurting HER, make it about HER. Most people won't respond to someone's self-centeredness. Good luck with whatever you decide.
HokeyReligions Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 i said "i hope you find someone who will stick around with you, because you are a handful. i'm going to be with a girl who actually knows how to love someone, because there are girls who want to be with me." i was out of line and didn't mean what i said. If there wasn't some truth to the feeling you wouldn't have said it. Sounds like she hurt you too. If you have to send her a message don't be needy. A simple "I'm willing to talk if you are. Call me when you are ready" and leave it at that. 1
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 If there wasn't some truth to the feeling you wouldn't have said it. Sounds like she hurt you too. If you have to send her a message don't be needy. A simple "I'm willing to talk if you are. Call me when you are ready" and leave it at that. she did hurt me, said things like "i never want to see your sorry a** again, you'll never have another girlfriend, i hate the thought of you." so yeah, you can see why i would react that way.
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 If you do decide to contact her make your contact LESS about you and more about your harm to her. re-read what you posted. It's all about YOU and how YOU are hurt and what shes doing to YOU. If you are sorry for hurting HER, make it about HER. Most people won't respond to someone's self-centeredness. Good luck with whatever you decide. would this sound better? "hi, you know things have been getting out of hand, and i'm willing to talk about it if you are too.."
Ireallydontknow Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 You need to back way off. She isn't going to come back, not now, so start moving on. You didn't even say what the break up was about. Who knows? All we DO know is to quit trying to contact her, leave her the heck alone!
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 You need to back way off. She isn't going to come back, not now, so start moving on. You didn't even say what the break up was about. Who knows? All we DO know is to quit trying to contact her, leave her the heck alone! she left me because she was no longer happy. we broke up many times before, but we always talked it out. no shes just ignoring me.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 she left me because she was no longer happy. we broke up many times before, but we always talked it out. no shes just ignoring me. There, just leave her alone. She isn't happy. You keep breaking up. Do you really want to be with someone who is going to play breakup roulette with you every other month? I dealt with that crap, and reached a point where I said "FINE LEAVE!" That shocks them more than anything. Shocked her into staying for a few more days so she could cheat on me! So just let it go man, take her ignoring you as a sign. 1
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 There, just leave her alone. She isn't happy. You keep breaking up. Do you really want to be with someone who is going to play breakup roulette with you every other month? I dealt with that crap, and reached a point where I said "FINE LEAVE!" That shocks them more than anything. Shocked her into staying for a few more days so she could cheat on me! So just let it go man, take her ignoring you as a sign. we still wanted to be in each others lives after the breakup and we were, its just that the last fight made her act like this.
Simon Phoenix Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 we still wanted to be in each others lives after the breakup and we were, its just that the last fight made her act like this. Anything you say right now will be a disaster. Leave it be.
Author Jord Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 Anything you say right now will be a disaster. Leave it be. let it be forever? should i contact her like in a couple of months or something? not like bring up the fight, but check up on her?
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