why was she so heartless?!

[justlooking463]

I was in a relationship for a little over a year. She was the woman of my dreams, beautiful, sexy and just a great woman. Then it happened, we just got back from our first of what i thought would be many vacations together. She left me 3 days after we had gotten back. We never fought, we only had maybe 2 fights the whole year we were together. .We got along great.

 

So the BU kind of came out of nowhere for me. I wasn't really expecting it. Her reason for leaving me was my children. I had 2 from my previous marriage, she had one from a previous marriage. They all got along pretty well seeing as how they were all about the same age. Anyway my kids i guess were to much for her because they arnt the best behaved, it's not all my fault tho. Their mother did most of the raising of my children because she had moved to a different state. she said my kids were very disrespectful to me, never to her, she even said they weren't to h her. It's been a month since she left, she only took her clothes and bathroom necessities. Left most of her other things here.

 

But i find out that not even 2 weeks after she leaves me, she has already been seeing this other guy and he had already met her parents. I've been NC for a few weeks and the only time she has tried to get a hold of me was to come get the rest of her stuff, i told her no bc i wouldn't be home and the door would be locked and i would bring it to a mutual friend of ours when i had the chance.

 

I really do not understand how she can be sooo heartless, to tell me our whole relationship how much she is in love with me and how she had never felt like this for anyone before and blah blah blah, you get the jist im sure. Then just up and leave and move right on to another guy. This is not the first time this has happened to me either

Edited September 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[justlooking463]

Sorry wasn't done, cut me off i guess, anyway this has happened to me in every relationship I've ever been in love. They always leave me for another guy. I'm just like there stepping stone through life to the next best thing. I'm a good guy and treat woman really good. Idk why this keeps happening to me. Right now i have given up all hope on relationships. I feel like all woman are that way now, they are always looking for the next guy to give them a little bit of attention and more money then the previous guy. I don't want to ever be in another relationship because I'm so sick of feeling like this every time. Its just way to much to bear, I'd rather be alone and miserable than to ever feel that way again. It makes me absolutely sick that she left me right after vacation. I dont have alot of money, but i tried to do everything i could to go to make her happy, instead of cancelling and keeping the money, which i really wish that's what i had done now. I feel used! I know she left me for this other guy and it makes me absolutely sick that she could do that to me after all I've done for her. I only found out for sure about this other guy 2 weeks after sge left. But i always had the thought in my head when she left. In the first 2 weeks i did all the normal begging her to come back. Makes me look stupid. Now that i think about it, she didn't really lead me on, but she did say things that hinted at us getting back together at some point. I gave up on contactig her. I'm just so done with relationahips!

[justlooking463]

She left me for someone else. After filling my head with all of these good thoughts about myself, she made me feel like i was the most amazing guy in the world with the things she wouls say to me, even her close family told me the kids thing was just an excuse to get out of the relationship. I honestly believe that. She was interested in another guy and she needed a way out. My children aren't that bad. They are kids. They do kid things, i really feel that if she felt the way she always told me she did, then why wouldn't she give it the chance to get better before just running and not even trying to see if it got better, and if it didn't get better, then at least we knew we tried and failed. If that was the real reason she left.

[SimonSerenade]

I'm sorry man, I know how you feel, I'm there myself, one and a half year relationship down the drain, left for another guy, fabricated teeny tiny excuses, it's a horrible feeling that nothing can make up for, you'd think you'd be used to it after living through it before but that chit never gets old and it sticks with you for a lot longer than you'd like.

 

I was the best possible version of myself in my last relationship and treated her like a queen, she used me up and threw me away, cut me off like I'd never existed to her in the first place so now I'm at a stand still where I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

 

Recently an old friend has popped up and she's been great, she tells me that she likes me a lot and wants to get close to me, we meet up for a coffee here and there, talk on the phone and through facebook, I even visit her at work when I'm passing by but as much as I like her I have just lost all desire to ever be close to anybody ever again, probably out of fear that all this bs is just going to resurface itself and I'm just going to be left for someone she considers as better.

 

It sucks but right now, I'm trying to adapt to the attitude that she's a piece of crap and who the hell would want to be with a piece of crap?, since she left she somehow managed to turn everyone against me including my best friend and when my dad died about a month a go she didn't even have the heart to say she was sorry for my loss.

 

It sounds to me like you got the same crappy deal that I did and don't let her rag on your kids, that's a very petty and disrespectful road to go down, most kids are cheeky little monkeys and wether you like it or not, their gonna climb up the walls and cause havoc, they truly don't have a care in the world lol it's a beautiful thing.

[justlooking463]

Yeah, u would think i would be used to it by now, but this time hurt more than my ex wife leaving me for another man, i think bc my ex wife and i had alot of problems anyway, fought alot and just weren't happy, still hurt. But this time it hurts more. I said the last time i would never let my walls go down for a woman. But my ex broke them right down and made me feel like noone has ever made me feel before in my life. Now I'm well on my way to building those walls right back up and this time never letting them down. Its just not worth it. Like a good friend of mine says, back in the day it used to be the guys doing the cheating and leaving. Now a days its the woman doing it. All woman will say im wrong here but i believe they are all the same. I've always been told that by every woman, "we are not all like that" bs i have yet to meet one to prove me wrong and until i do. I will always feel that way.

[SimonSerenade]

I felt exactly the same, when me and my son's mother split, I could see where I went wrong and at that point I had completely given up trying, hurt like my ass on a wasp nest regardless but it made sense.

 

My ex made me feel like special and that was a feeling exclusive to her, she made me feel like there was no comparison between me and other guys in her eyes, I had walls up to the point where I would withhold affection and sit alone on the other side of the room, it took a few months to be vulnerable with her and once she got that out of me and I gradually became attached to her, she made sure I payed for it.

 

I don't think all women are like that but I definately see the trend, I think that women in this day and age tend to over analyse things and beat things to death, they feel they have something to prove and there's just not enough out there for them to sit and be content with.

 

I think the main goal for me and probably the only way out of feeling the way I do is by not taking everything to heart, I'm pretty notorious for that, I still toss and turn at night wondering what kind of bs she's telling people about me, I dwell on that kind of stuff until it's well and truly cut and bled, I think the day I can overcome that is the day I just don't give a crap about what the future may hold with someone anymore but I just don't think I'd ever be that kind of person, I can't find it in myself to be hateful to someone I once felt so strongly for, If I did I just wouldn't sleep at night.