Tim_horton Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 What's the longest you've been hung up on someone. It's almost three years for me... Still can't let go of her. And it's killing me.
hurts2death Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 chill man what you mean 3 years? sth is wrong here.... are you ruinning your life or sth? why? what was the story? she dumped you? 3 years sorry to sound an as s but it is pathetic i wish i will let go way earlier...
reddragon588 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 What's the longest you've been hung up on someone. It's almost three years for me... Still can't let go of her. And it's killing me. I was hung up on someone for about 3 years when I was in college. I didn't let it run my life all 3 years, but I can say with certainty that I still wasn't over it that whole time and I let it affect my other relationships. It all ended when I finally realized I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't let it hurt my relationships with other women. That I wanted to find that happiness again. Have you gone to therapy? It might be very helpful for you. 1
Author Tim_horton Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 Yeah I've gone to therapy. Doesn't really help. Short story is, we were dating and in love, she was applying for med school, she got pregnant, wasn't sure if she was ready to go to school and have a kid so got an abortion. It wrecked me and I became depressed, and our relationship died because of it.
melell Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Hung up, depends on the definition, like the impact it has on your life. I was 'hung up' on a guy from high school that I had a crush on for like 10 years lol. But that was fantasy at the most. If you really loved someone, I don't really think the memories go away, so I am not surprised if three years later you still think of them. But if it is to the point where it is killing you, in all honesty I think that this is because you might not be happy within yourself in general. Break ups seems to hit the hardest when people weren't happy to start with, I think that is when people really cling on. When I am feeling depressed I am haunted by my ex. You might have trained your brain to stay in this thought process, but that can be 100% changed with some help. Our minds/thoughts are fickle at best sometimes.
melell Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Sorry I missed your last post. Therapy doesn't always help you are right, but you can get past it one way or another if that is really what you want to do.
Author Tim_horton Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 Hm yeah maybe I'll post here more often when I think I'm going to do something stupid like E-mail her. I'm a scientist in my career and I just have to logically accept that it will simply not get the desired outcome I want, and in fact will only hurt myself.
reddragon588 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Yeah I've gone to therapy. Doesn't really help. Well, judging on your response, you have to be willing to give therapy a chance. If you go in with the mentality that it won't help, it won't help. You have to want the therapist to help you, because they can. When I was mired in my three-year hangup, I went to therapy and it "didn't work". A lot of the reason why was I went in there expecting the therapist to magically cure my ills, or to have them tell me what I wanted to hear, not what I needed to hear. From your short sentence, you have to realize the relationship didn't end because you were depressed. There would be a lot more factors going into the end than just that. It takes two for a relationship to destruct. 2
melell Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Read the above post. Different therapists approach it from different angles, and it does take awhile for them to get to the bottom of it as well. It usually takes a good amount of time to recognize the problem, and then a good amount of time to tackle it. So many people give up on it because it doesn't seem to work at first. I am in therapy now, I don't want to be, I don't feel like it is working, but statistically speaking it does work, so I might as well give it a chance. I made myself a promise that I would go for 25 sessions no matter what. It only takes 2 hours of my time a week, so why not. And if it does help, that will be excellent. 2
Author Tim_horton Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 I guess I've been approaching therapy from the POV of "How will this help me get her back" or "How will this make me the kind of person she wants back?" It has helped, just not as much as I would like, and obviously hasn't fulfilled my impossible ulterior motive of getting her back.
reddragon588 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 I guess I've been approaching therapy from the POV of "How will this help me get her back" or "How will this make me the kind of person she wants back?" It has helped, just not as much as I would like, and obviously hasn't fulfilled my impossible ulterior motive of getting her back. The best approach to therapy is to go in without any expectations or any POV/angle.
hurts2death Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Tim i am really sorry my friend . i can see here that you felt loosing family it must be devastating..... please do me a favor .. see that life goes on .if you keep on that you will left outside of life.. be a man . be tough. get the attitude of having many wifes like arabs,... have some balls . go out and be hard ... build up thinking the love you have for you is bigger than everything wish best recovery and heal and soon. 3 years aint small./// 1
forgetmenot75 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 What's the longest you've been hung up on someone. It's almost three years for me... Still can't let go of her. And it's killing me. Yeah, I hung in someone for years when I was in High school. Then I just forgot about him bleh. How old are you? Definitely not normal for a grown adult to have lost 3 years of their precious life hanging on someone who doesn't care at all. I'm very sorry you can't move on
robaday Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Heres a different angle - I think theres a direct relation between how well your life is going/your self esteem and how long it takes you to get over someone. If for instance you suffer from depression and low self esteem and are isolated socially (without the opportunity to meet other people) then it will take you way longer to get over someone, than if say you have a big group of friends, keep busy and are confident person. To me at least that was the big learning ive taken from both my relationships - maintaining a life outside of them is soooo important - be it exercise, going out with friends or taking on extra study Its not the person your hung up on anymore, its your lack of self belief in moving on 1
love1336x Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 A year. Why? Because he breaks NC every once a month. Asking me how I am doing, how he misses me, and once i give in. He stops contacts, and so do I, but then a month will passed and sure enough he will text me. I ALLOWED him to do this to me, but I am stepping my foot down. I put him on block, so even if i get stupid and send him a text it won't go through! I am taking control of my life! I FEEL sad, I want to SEE him. But, I know I must let go... It just won't happened! It's been a full year, and I haven't gotta anywhere with him.... so whatever.
Recommended Posts