Brown-Eyez Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 I had expectations when I met my great guy that he would give us a chance..look where that got me I now have expectations that I should feel better 'by now' (its been alittle over 2 wks since I asked him to respect my NC so I could heal) I see that my expectations lead me into feeling things that are unrealistic now I'm gonna try to change my expectations to just let it flow whatever the 'it' may be ha! now my expectation is that if I change my expectation I'll feel better! sometimes my mind is my best friend & worse enemy!
SimonSerenade Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 By now I've learned to expect the worst and when it comes, to deal with it, I saw a whole new side of my ex when she walked away and it was a very ruthless and insincere side, I expected some degree of respect from her, in the end, she cheated all over my ass, walked away and got nice and cozy with my best friend, now, I don't expect anything except to adapt a stronger side of myself that just doesn't give a crap anymore, I've come to accept that on some level I had this coming for the way I've treated people in the past, god can justify all this but she can't. I had expectations in the relationship too and I wouldn't budge an inch on them, I messed up, I should have accepted her for who she was and just enjoyed what I had with her, she wasn't perfect, far from it, many aspects of her were just crap but many more were so wonderful. I guess in the end we both learned a hard lesson which will serve us well in the future.
Author Brown-Eyez Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 (edited) By now I've learned to expect the worst and when it comes, to deal with it,..I don't expect anything except to adapt a stronger side of myself that just doesn't give a crap anymore.. I guess in the end we both learned a hard lesson which will serve us well in the future. I'm not sure if expecting the worse is any better than expecting the best if i expect the worse, i'm worried that i'll just become a cynical person and ruin anything lovely that might be created in the future (IF i even have a future with someone ) yeah, life sure deals us super hard lessons..and I WISH that I COULD JUST NOT EVER GIVE A CRAP anymore, but who would want to be with someone with THAT kind of attitude?? I would just like to expect that EVERYTHING eventually COMES TO AN END and ACCEPT that rather than feeling like I somehow lost at the game NOTHING EVER EVER LASTS: WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO GET???? Edited September 14, 2013 by Brown-Eyez 1
Author Brown-Eyez Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 my wonderful pet is going to die one day I KNOW This too IF i'm with anyone in the future, that relationship will eventually end (they all do, one way or the other) that's what i mean about expectations..nothing is really SUPPOSE to last, right?? I gotta remember, all we have is NOW 2
SimonSerenade Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 That's a good way of looking at things, right now, I feel very much the same way, I just don't have an ambition to be with someone and be vulnerable again because in the back of my mind I'm pretty sure it's all going to turn to crap and I'm going to be in hell again. I never felt this way after past relationships, I felt I had something to prove and look forward to, I just don't feel that way anymore, I feel I've already had the best I can possibly get so I just don't expect anything or anyone to be better. I think expectations play a huge role in the worth of a relationship and the person your in a relationship with, I fell victim to that and I think at times I forgot what it felt like to have someone bearing down on you like that, it can strip you of all that your worth, it's not nice, I think now if I ever got with somebody again, I'm just going to accept that person for who she is and realize that people have limitations. I think life is too short to expect perfection, you should just enjoy it and the people in it for how it is, a life time is a very long time and I think the hardest part now is making long term investment's and knowing there's probably a 50/50 chance it isn't going to pay off, maybe that's just one of life's many lessons we're only learning just now.
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