Rain_Shaman Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 I hesitate to use the word "dating" because she and I have never spent that much time alone. We have always had a mutual friend nearby. Anyways, we have known each other since last year. We have a platonic relationship marked by a lot of instances wherein we "don't have time for each other." We are both at uni together and my schedule is insane. I have heavy coursework on top of a part-time job. I know that saying I'm "busy" is an excuse and I still believe that I do not have time for a romantic relationship. I am confused because I am receiving "mixed signals" from her. We usually eat breakfast and lunch together, but she rarely talks to me even around friends. She hardly talks to anyone being one of the most reserved people I know. I am gauging her interest based on the few times she has flirted with me, mostly last year. I assume she is single because she tells everyone that. I have no way to prove it and part of me does not believe her. I assume that she expected me to take initiative last year and it stressed me out. I had a lot of work, as usual, and never attempted to ask her out. We are starting to see each other more often now that I have planned my time better. We were going to see each other this weekend, but she had to go home at the last minute. I had plans to be boring and take her out to dinner with my friends. It would have been our first pseudo-date of the year. I did not want to be creative because I am still confused. I don't know if I ruined my chances with her by showing more interest too late. She has never said what she thinks of me. I have been ambivalent all week about being with her. Part of me wants to remain with her and continue pursuing our relationship and part of me is repulsed by her personality, especially her silence concerning our relationship status. She still seems to enjoy my company. I don't know if she is annoyed at me for not pursuing her last year and has moved on or if she is still waiting for the official "first date."
nescafe1982 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 It doesn't sound to me like you've started courting her. Ask her out. See what she says.
Author Rain_Shaman Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 Fair enough. I think I may have thought more than acted this time.
nescafe1982 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Fair enough. I think I may have thought more than acted this time. But the good news is that you can ask her out now. You haven't messed up anything by being friends first. If you are interested and think maybe she might be, just go for it! Even if she says no, the frustration of the current ambiguities will be gone.
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