SO! I have a date tonight and its not w MM

[hollyhillcourt]

I started actively dating again about 3 weeks ago, and ladies let me tell you it is very helpful when attempting to move on!!!

 

Although the exMM did call last night wanting to catch up, which we did for about 30 minutes. He knows and wants me to. So, this is good. I did let him know that I believe the BS is blocking her number calling to see who I am. Already changed my number once. He called from his hotel.

 

Anyway, back to dating! I'm excited to feel like I'm doing something good for me!

 

Yay!!!

[SunsetRed]

Good luck! Don't b surprised if you find your date to be boring or you're not attracted to him and have no chemistry. Not trying to rain on your parade, just pointing out that if this happens, it DOES NOT mean that you should contact or go back to MM and it does not mean that your relationship w MM was a good one.

 

Give yourself credit for going out and trying. keep trying and don't slip up and go back to MM or else you'll be a lonely person still posting on this board 5 years from now.

[yellowmaverick]

Hope your date was great, HHC!! I hope that he is a prince and treats you well.

[legalgirl]

Good job! Will be anxious to hear how it went!

[hollyhillcourt]

It went pretty well. He's a nice guy with a lot going for him. Not sure if it is exactly a perfect match but was a good opportunity to move forward for me.

 

Yesterday I ran into exMM at the gas station. Which is unusual bc/I never see him out and about but we do live in the same part of town. I have been telling repeatedly not to contact me until he gets his **** together. As I was pumping gas I looked up and saw him. I kinda hid behind the pump hoping he wouldn't see me, lol. But he did so he came over. Asked me what I was doing, pumping gas obviously. Asked him how he was and he said tired and that he road his roadbike 70miles that morning (he's prepping for a long race for MS). He looked tired. We didn't have much to say. I was super-nervous bc/I wasn't prepared for this interaction. And I know I came across as stand-offish/ambiviliant (I'm told I come across this way under stress, lol) which is probably good in this situation. Anyway, we parted and I left first. He waved bye and I waved like, meh.

 

I was shaking when I left. It was weird. I immediately called one of my best gf's who was with me when I met him and she told me I did a good job. I felt a little guilty for acting indifferent, even though I was feeling anything other than that. But as she said, "you did a good job, you told him to stay away until he gets his stuff figured out, if ever."

 

Today, I woke up feeling pretty good about it.

 

Life DOES go on!!!!

[bentleychic]

Glad it went well!!! Second date?

 

Sounds like you did well with xMM, too. I have that stand-offish/ambivalent thing, too, especially in new situations or situations that I am not comfortable in. I know I come off as a *itch, but it's not intentional. LOL

[hollyhillcourt]

Not sure about a second date. He said he would like to see me again, and I was like, meh. Just kidding. If he asked me out again, I would go. I usually give it a few dates before I make a judgment about fit....

 

Thanks for the support on yesterday!

 

I know he will keep coming after me but he's different than a lot of the other MM I read about on here. I know he can tell I have a lot of inner power and I can turn my feelings off on a dime, I don't like to necessarily but that is how I protect myself. And I developed it by working in very stressful environments. And I can be militant about accepting bull ****. So, it has served me well here!!!

 

Of course, I am human and I do hurt over this situation, but when I look at it realistically I don't believe he is leaving and at 40, I have to be honest with myself, I can't afford to wait around. Also, going out and being flirted with has helped my ego TREMENDOUSLY and helped me get to the meh.