Mrlonelyone Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) This thread dovetails with this one on the coping/breakup board. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/414183-they-sorta-broke-nc-calling-me-but-disguising-voice In that one I speak of them calling me on their birthday and leaving a message asking if they would be around. I recognized the number and the voice. When I called back I didn't just ask who they were but they didn't out and say their name. I confirmed that the number was her. Since then I have gotten hangup calls from an unlisted/ cell phone according to the trace back. Whoever it is calls, and hangs up as soon as I say hello. Bill collectors would stay on the lline, Telemarketers would stay on the line and I can't think of anyone else who would have cause to act that way. It has to be her. My question is assuming I am right, and it is my Ex lover, are they interested on some level in a reunion? Why do they not speak? Upon reflection on our break up of our open and undefined relationship we became more and more distant as my graduation approached. Then, once it seemed I was going to be around and revising my work for a while we warmed back up .... Then no face to face contact for getting close to three months (equal to a full summer break apart which is more or less what would have been the case anyway even if we parted on better terms.) So it's not like anyone broke any promises or cheated. We certainly hurt each other a bit but no unforgiveable sins have been committed. Looking at my last post in that other thread... I said I would need a frank and adult effort from her. What can I do to make it clear that I am open to hear from them? Edited September 13, 2013 by Mrlonelyone
harrybrown Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 Send an email or text and let them know. You could use whatever method you used to communicate in the past.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 The logical approach. Ahh if only that worked. I have tried that. No response.... other than that when I have about a day latter or less I get such a hangup call. Like they want to talk, or hear from me, but they cannot bring themselves to say something. Our relationship was strange by todays standards in many ways. We communicated most and best in person. Often we could say the most with a facial expression or a knowing look between us. Things that do not translate well to writing. Strange for an age where texting and tweeting is so central to so many relationships.
xxoo Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 If you've communicated that you are open to hearing from them in a frank and adult manner, and they don't respond in kind, then they are not prepared to give you what you need: a frank and adult effort. You could block the number, or simply not answer. But you can't make her what she is not. 1
PR08 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 I've never understood why exes only ever seem to get back in touch if you've successfully ignored them and when you're starting to move on. I've made that point on here a few times before. I guess I'll never understand it, but it seems to happen so damn often that I wish there was a way to prove it scientifically. 3
Author Mrlonelyone Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 If you've communicated that you are open to hearing from them in a frank and adult manner, and they don't respond in kind, then they are not prepared to give you what you need: a frank and adult effort. You could block the number, or simply not answer. But you can't make her what she is not. You're probably right. "a frank and adult effort." At least not what constitutes that to a early 30's person like me vs an early 20's person like them.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 All I can really do now is see what develops over the next year. The reasons for our break we're not things that are insurmountable. Maybe in a few months we will be back together. I'm not gonna hold my breath. I just know the value of someone who will be there for you good can be there with you when times are good. If she was just a good time girl it would be so easy to forget her.
Brown-Eyez Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 she might be calling merely to hear your voice (if you have a personal message greeting).. if you have such a greeting, change it to a generic one that does not use your voice and possibly the hangups will stop i'm getting them too and i think it might be him (at least that's my fantasy )
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