Is there seriously something wrong with me?

[Fayella]

I know there is something wrong with me when it comes to dating but I'm not sure what? My problem is my relationships never last very long at all, most of my relationships generally last around a 1 - 3 months. It's always the same that the guy turns around and says 'I'm sorry, I'm not ready for a relationship' or they dump me and say 'I just want us to be friends'. I just don't know what to change about myself, before I thought maybe I was too clingy and put too much interest forward so in my last relationship I made it relaxed and gave space which my ex appreciated but even that went wrong.

 

I think it's maybe because I'm not comfortable being on my own? I've never cheated, never jumped into a relationship immediately after another, sometimes I'll get a relationship a year later after my last but I always find break ups devastating even when I haven't been with that person long. I am comfortable sometimes being on my own but when I'm with someone I feel as though I'm worth something, that someone actually wants me and cares for me. I don't feel cared for by anyone else in my life and I feel rather isolated due to not having many close friends but acquaintances. I just feel rather scared to get into another relationship in case I get hurt again, I don't want a relationship now but I know I'll want one in the future but it's the fear of getting told the same thing again. All my relationships always seem to develop via the internet too or by texting, it's like I'll meet the person, we'll get chatting and exchange details but we'll end up talking dirty to each other, get into a relationship and have sex too soon. I just don't know what's wrong, it must obviously be psychological, and it's not sex I really want, I just want to hugged and cuddled.

[heartshaped]

It must be some behavior on your part that ends all your relationships so swiftly. It might not necessarily be being clingy, but you might come off as insecure, needy, emotional, unstable, etc.

 

I think you should focus on yourself at this stage. Build friendships, explore new interests and hobbies, go out and have fun with friends or alone, exercise and keep in shape. Essentially, enjoy your life.

 

And in response to what you said at the end, sex does not equal love or affection. I think you are mixing up the two in your head hence having sex way too soon because you are seeking love and/or affection.