I have an easy time talking to women. But, how can I progress things further?

[galaxyman]

This happens to me at least 3-4 times a year. Some girl will walk into my work, and we'll instantly hit it off. She'll seem flirty. Smile. Bend over to show cleavage (not too subtle, I know lol ). But when it comes to the "moment" to ask her out, I freeze and have only 1 thought in my brain:

 

"I JUST met this girl. How the hell can I ask her out without sounding desperate?"

 

So she leaves. I never see her again. It's cyclical and easy to predict before it happens. Is there any advice? Or should I just blindly shout "let's hang out" to a relative complete stranger? Thanks for your input.

[Scales]

You need to stop caring so much about when, and care about how. If you find a girl attractive, you have a small window to work with. If she is available and putting herself out there, chances are she will be giving her number to a variety of men in a short amount of time and then choosing from those guys. They won't be wasting time. Typically they will start to text within the same day or next day after getting her number. They are chasing and women like that they are showing interest. If you sit on your hands and wait until you guys enjoy each others company and hit it off socially, you have already put yourself in the friend zone because you weren't aggressive enough. Girls want to know they are wanted by you. Don't be afraid to be direct with your desires (NOT your sexual ones!!!).

 

How you do that and where are important. Obviously don't do it where there are a ton of people. If you are having a conversation with her alone, get her number and imply interest. If she says no or isn't down, its cool move on. Don't be creepy about it you work with her, not to mention it will spread in the office. Being rejected is totally fine and don't be afraid or get mad. The shot never fired will always miss.

Edited September 13, 2013 by Scales

[galaxyman]

This is a great reply. Thanks. By being 'direct with my desires', would you suggest that it's better to be very open and direct about it? Would saying: "Listen, I enjoy talking to you. Come hang out with me sometime." be too "friendly"? Or would most women get the point?

Edited September 13, 2013 by galaxyman

[Scales]

This is a great reply. Thanks. By being 'direct with my desires', would you suggest that it's better to be very open and direct about it? Would saying: "Listen, I enjoy talking to you. Come hang out with me sometime." be too "friendly"? Or would most women get the point?

 

Well its a little on the friends side, and predictable. Being creative without revealing too much can go a long way. That being said keeping it simple will work if she likes you. However, I can't tell you how many girls will go out with you one on one and then tell you you're just a friend later. Its all about what you do on that date and how you act once your on it. If you go just to hang out, then you will become a friend. If you go and make moves and she doesn't reject you, you're in. And by make moves I mean physical escalation. Touching, holding hands, being close, playful hitting, major flirting, etc.