Vinsanity1307 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 For all of you who dont my story here is the link for it. Please read..... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/417902-dumped-after-5-years Anyways as stated in the title that is where I am at. So My question is that I still cant stop thinking of the wonderful times, or deciding what I should of done differently, or what I would say to her if she came around and back to me. Or wishing it was a year ago....Basically she still runs my mind. The only times I can somewhat get her out of my thoughts is during the gym 4x a week and when the Patriots are on (Die Hard fan). But other than that she is always there ALWAYS! Everything is a reminder. My job (where we met, and all the times she came down and visited, and use to work there). Obviously at my apartment. Which is is street over from her house as I stated before.. Whats do I do is this normal. ...I still feel like I am going nuts over her.....Please Help..
hurts2death Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 take time .... you will heal eventually. i feel the same
Calcmag Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 It's absolutely normal. And don't let your pain and discomfort convince you to break NC. It is NEVER worth it. You either feel worse because you get no response at all, OR you feel worse because you do get a response but it's just crumbs.
barky2 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 First off big shout out to woooooostah! OK so I read your previous thread dude there's so many red flags its not even funny. Talking to how many guys "sexuallly"?? I know u cared for her man, I really do. But no man or woman should put up with this. Honestly it seems either a) you were a I can't say rebound but a filler from her marriage. Or b), you were into her way more than she was into you. Hobestky I think you dodged a huge bullet with this one man. Your a mid 20's dude living in woooooostah...get some of your boys together and go out. Either that or take a ride out to here to Boston and go out. Get your mind off this girl man. You deserve a woman who won't mess around even texting or fb messaging another dude She's got issues. And you cannot play capt save a ho with this one. This one will be messed up for a loooooooooong time. Go be a single dude for a little while. Believe me when I tell you, you're so much better off man. Barky
Cali408 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 You're doing great. Now, find a new job and move. Stop daydreaming about the great times. She is and always will be train wreck. Train your mind to think of all her bad points. And convince your mind of them. When you think of her fondly think, "lots of baggage." "trainwreck" "bad at being married." "cheat" It's auto response. by the way that was the worst regular season game I've watched in a long time.
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Thank you all for your replies.....Especially you Barky...I keep re reading the thread you wrote about break ups....Anyways what about her trying to do everything and anything for me during the last 2.5 years. ...when I was resentful and scared (to be honest )which brought out the tough guy and guarded for all that she did in the past. Was that an act cause she had nothing else going for her during that time no job, no car,or phone?....see I just keep looking at the recent(past few years) stuff which was really great until her life got together...abd then it happened....ago those are all I dwell on and again 2 months P ost break up... As you all know the pats make things even more depressing with that garbage offense....
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Thanks for your reply.. I am not perfect and I know I am a grown man and know right from wrong, and make mistakes. But could you blame me for being so guarded and scared with what she put me through when engaged. It was resentment and fear. Thats how I guarded myself and obviously when I let it down after a while it happened again. I did love her very much so when scared and guarded thats why I continued to "date" her. And we acted as a couple unofficially...
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 As of now Feel like this will be a scar forever...Unfortunately.
barky2 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 No no no. This will NOT change your character for the future. This is something you need to reconcile I'm your soul. You tried your best to play capt save a ho. That initially what you were doing. Re read your post To ever be fully open to anyone again you have to get rid of this relationship fully so you are not carrying BAGGAGE. Your not ruined and the above poster I couldn't disagree more Did you learn something? Sure. Are you walking away with new knowledge? Sure. Can you identify red flags now? Sure. Want me to keep going? Go be free and enjoy yourself bro. When my (ex) broke up with me I was single for the first time since I was 15 ( I was 25 at the time) and I was lost I finally lived the single life and thoroughly enjoyed it. Try it man. Seriously. And no disrespect at all to the above poster, wasn't calling you out I just see it a different way. Barky
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 Thanks again for your replies Barky.. Is this normal also...You know my story now..And I still think she is the most attractive person I ever saw. I have no interest in looking at other women even the slightest bit..Is this normal even after 2 months? Cause obviously there are always better looking women. But to me nothing is her.
barky2 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Lol of course it is bro I dealt with the same thing. Its because your still attached. You haven't let go. Your still "there"....if that makes sense. You were with her for years. Its going to take some time man. Just do you for awhile. It will pass, and you will out grow it. Barky
barky2 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 First reply up there ^ Just wanted to add this, because maybe you can relate And understand. I cheated on my ex after 10 years. I got gigs ect. I left her for a gorgeous girl w fake boobs and absolutely the most beautiful girl I've ever saw. After awhile, and until this day, my (ex) is STILL truly deep down the most beautiful girl I've ever saw. The girl I cheated on her and left her for was in maxim ect...but I knew my (ex) deep down and made her THAT much more attractive. That's what your going thru. You had a connection. Outside the girl I cheated on her with hands down was so dope...truly stunning. But my (ex) I knew, and hands down was gorgeous too . But the connection was there...and that made her more attractive in my eyes after a certain time. Make any sense? You have a connection with her...don't force a attraction and compare girls because no one will ever be her. You have to give yourself enough time to grieve, let go, and move on before even contemplating considering someone else You'll know when its right...and obviously nows not the time. So once again, do you bro. For awhile. Barky
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 Thanks for your insight barky. I 100% agree on the connection factor...Not sure thisis contradicting but to the average man there is alot better looking than my ex. Some people even questioned what I saw in her physically. Seeing very slender no curves..but that did not matter to me. It sill doesn't . I still think she is the best looking chick I ever saw..so must be the connection or something..Do you think she Will/does look for this connection or compare and contrast to me?....I know it doesn't matter..but still...
barky2 Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Do they compare? Sure. Does it matter? No. Broseph listen to me. The faster you just say fug it and grab your bean bag and start living your life as a single young cat...your going to be stuck in this hole Your life will change. And I give you my word dude....you'll thank me for pushing you later. My ex put on a few pounds over the 10 years we were together. Still she was hotter than a maxim model. Messed up aint it? Grab your bag bro, and take some time to DO YOU! And you just be a single crazy bastard for a little while. Do it man. I promise you, you want regret it. Barky
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