YepItsFudged Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) So my ex contacted me a week ago after about 4 months of barely any contact since a fight me and my ex had which resulted in what she called a break due to me being stressed out over her living so far away and with her parents which are very strict as well as work stress and taking it out on the one closest to me unintentionally. I ended up talking to her mom during the break and explained to her she needed to back off a little that I was scared to even kiss my ex around her or her husband. She said she understood that it was hard to let go of her little girl and we talked multiple other times and I guess after me explaining what happened she wants us back together and I found out her mom had a big factor in the break/breakup. Well since she texted me we talked for a bit. She wanted to meet up. Well we met up because I was in the area on my motorcycle with friends who were going home and i asked about the pic she took on Facebook by looking at my news feed with that guy and if he was her new man. She said yes and I warned her he looked like a bad person for her being a cop(I'm friends with cops), a roid head, and having tattoos. Well a day or two later she texts me saying she wants to meet up. We meet up again and she talks about how he ignored her phone calls and didn't come down she was thinking she was done with him. Well she was on her period so I thought something was funny. Well a few days later no period she tells me she forgave him and he said he was at a funeral(total BS). She also tells me he stayed the night. That pissed me off cause I knew he was bad news. Well later that day I get a call from her mom saying she was really sick and she was. Her mom begged me to take her to the doctor so I did. I stayed in the waiting room. Texted her some because her mom told me to ask what they were gonna do and whether they were going to keep her. They ended up not. Well I don't text her for a few days and she calls me crying telling me that guy calls her yelling at her calling her all these names and she has pretty low self esteem as well as accusing her of cheating because she has guy friends. Well I help her a little and remind her of when she got upset once and I had to remind her of how beautiful she was. Probably a bad move on my part. I do really miss her being with me and I'm pretty sure she knows it but I told her before just to be happy with whomever she is with. I do really love her and had contemplated getting engaged to her when we were together. Do I have any chance of getting her back? Edited September 19, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author YepItsFudged Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Btw she's going to college now about 15 minutes from me now. That's why her mom had me take her to the hospital.
Misfortune Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 I believe that they should reap what they sow. This is the life they chose to get into and they can very well get out of it on their own(or with mom's help). It's always amazing when they can get out of a relationship with us but be incapable of exiting any other relationship.
Author YepItsFudged Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Well, update. I never texted her until this past Monday when she texted me first She invited me to dinner. So we hung out. Had a great time, she kept bragging about how much better I was than the other guy and how great our sex was. Well she mentioned going to see a scary movie so I invited her last night. We go there and sit down, watch the movie, joke a lil. I then try to hold her hand and lay my hand on her leg and she flips ****. You know, middle school ****. I guess she was thinking I was going for the goods and then precedes to tell me we're only here as friends. I ask her quietly if I am getting anywhere with us. She then didn't hear me well so I just said don't worry about it. She then says "Just go with the flow." So she asks what I said when we get back to the car. I told her I asked if I was getting anywhere that she said she wouldn't be ready for a relationship for a few months because she wanted to try out school this semester without a relationship and see if she has time yet she has time to join a sorority. She had said that she still loves me a lot but go looking for another girl. I really don't know how she really feels about me whether she is using me or really wants me to move on because she feels its not fair for me to wait on her. I love this girl more than anything.
lylat333 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 (edited) First of all, congrats on sticking to NC if only for a little while. Very common for dumpers to come around after some period of time, only to see if they still have you on the line, which is exactly what this seems to be. Better for you not to act out until you know where she stands - who knows why she's setting up this dinner and movie? At this point her behavior is just breadcrumbs, man. You touch her leg... OK... and then keep asking if you're getting anywhere with her! Then what happens? She starts to fly off the radar again, tells you to go looking for another girl. Not a sign of reconciliation at all, in fact it's the opposite. The way you find out how she really feels is to not get sucked into this. Things went bad with the other guy so she comes running to you - it would be much more attractive for you to not make it a cakewalk for her to come back. She probably felt guilty about ditching you for the other guy and wanted to meet w/ you to ease her guilt... mission accomplished. Now she knows she can do it - so why not toss you on the backburner for a few more months, join a sorority, perhaps try another guy out? She'll expect you to be there waiting. I'd take the recent meetup as a setback and soldier on with NC. Edited September 19, 2013 by lylat333
Author YepItsFudged Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 First of all, congrats on sticking to NC if only for a little while. Very common for dumpers to come around after some period of time, only to see if they still have you on the line, which is exactly what this seems to be. Better for you not to act out until you know where she stands - who knows why she's setting up this dinner and movie? At this point her behavior is just breadcrumbs, man. You touch her leg... OK... and then keep asking if you're getting anywhere with her! Then what happens? She starts to fly off the radar again, tells you to go looking for another girl. Not a sign of reconciliation at all, in fact it's the opposite. The way you find out how she really feels is to not get sucked into this. Things went bad with the other guy so she comes running to you - it would be much more attractive for you to not make it a cakewalk for her to come back. She probably felt guilty about ditching you for the other guy and wanted to meet w/ you to ease her guilt... mission accomplished. Now she knows she can do it - so why not toss you on the backburner for a few more months, join a sorority, perhaps try another guy out? She'll expect you to be there waiting. I'd take the recent meetup as a setback and soldier on with NC. Idk man. When I asked why she even contacted me she said it was because she missed me. Well obviously not enough if she doesn't want to get back together. I'm continuing with NC as you said.
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