2sunny Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 He's now offering more sex and less emotion - this guy is a real jerk. He's never going to end it - that needs to come from YOU! You either end it or your M will end - because your H is about to find out!
AutumnMoon Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 (edited) Rae. So much of your story could be mine. Take a step back and realize he probably didn't purposely intend to hurt you but he will continue to do so now that he has and you haven't walked. Walk. Or accept the abuse. It sucks but its the truth. Edited September 14, 2013 by AutumnMoon
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 I don't think there is anything for them to discover. Unless we confessed, this could just go away. Nobody knows about it. I can think of at least 40 people who would be drastically affected by the affair coming out. I'm not doing that. I'll just stop. I can do that. You have no idea because neither you or MM have any control over what your spouses pick up on. Could be something so small and one, if not both, will see a red flag and the light will come on. Never say never. People who think they will NEVER get caught, DO actually sometimes get caught! So don't fool yourself here, k. Hindsight? If you knew how many people were going to be affected by the affair, WHY even bother going there? Is that something you even considered before choosing that path?
2sunny Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 You want to BE her friend??? then ACT like a friend and quit stealing her husbands emotional side. Ad in doing so - you're H is being short changed by YOU - and the only way to get RECONNECTED with your H is to completely eliminate the closeness to the OM.
Author rae_lana Posted September 15, 2013 Author Posted September 15, 2013 You want to BE her friend??? then ACT like a friend and quit stealing her husbands emotional side. Ad in doing so - you're H is being short changed by YOU - and the only way to get RECONNECTED with your H is to completely eliminate the closeness to the OM. What do I say to him? I don't want to piss him off or make him feel rejected because I don't want him to throw me under the bus which im starting to think is a real possibility. I just want him to stop making moves on me. I'm obviously weak because the second he makes move I fall for it. If he stops even for a while I could try to get past that..
cif Posted September 15, 2013 Posted September 15, 2013 How about don't say anything to OM for now just be civil and respond as if your H or friend are reading... focus on reconnecting with your H and shifting your emotions back to him.
2sunny Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 What do I say to him? I don't want to piss him off or make him feel rejected because I don't want him to throw me under the bus which im starting to think is a real possibility. I just want him to stop making moves on me. I'm obviously weak because the second he makes move I fall for it. If he stops even for a while I could try to get past that.. You tell him stop talking to you about anything personal - that YOU intend to be the friend to his wife that she believes you to be.
Author rae_lana Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 I see or hear something funny and I want to message him. But I'm have not messaged him in a week. He hasn't seen me since Thursday night and no contact either. I think we both know it has to be the end, I'm sad, I know people think that's terrible, but I'd rather have our group friendship and I'd rather have my marriage. It really kills me that me and him can never be friends like we were before. That's just how I feel, wrong or not. Everyone thinks this will come out one day but I don't think it will, our spouses would never have thought this.. We have them no reason to think it was anything more than just attraction and they don't believe I was into him at all. I just have to let it go and pretend it never happened.
2sunny Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Don't communicate with him. And don't be alone with him. Be the friend she THINKS you are.
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