Dakini Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 I was having a conversation with my best friend the other night, and this question / quandary arose: Is it better to have true love and be broke, or to have money and sacrifice true love? I would love to hear all LShacker’s thoughts!
Kizzyfur Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 Personally, without love, I would rather be single.
moimeme Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 How broke is 'broke'? Are we talking live-in-a-cardboard-box-under-a-bridge broke or not-lots-of-money-for-luxuries broke? Do you sacrifice the 'true love' in order to live with someone you don't love to have money?
land locked Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 simple really........true love and broke
Patiently waiting Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 I think people do sacrifice love for money. I live in a very affluent area and I see trophy wives everywhere. So what do they do to compensate for the lack of love they feel for their wealthy husbands? what do you think?, they have affairs with their personal trainers...... Men who stay in marriages and say they don't love their wives anymore, many times say the reason is that they don't want to lose the "status" they have come to enjoy after they have worked so hard to get it. They don't want to give up 1/2 (CA is a no fault 50/50 state) of everything they have plus pay alimony (in some cases), child support, and wind up living in a 1 room apt. So what do they do???? Have affairs with other women....... I personally left my marriage because the love was gone (on my end cause I couldn't get over his affair) but it also started becoming progressively abusive (he started taking out his stress on me for not being able to see his OW very often (whom I had thought he broke it off with the year before when I caught him), cause he had to watch our kids while I worked a 2nd job to cover the extra amt. needed for our mortgage payment on our new house. I had also started seeing a MM right before i left....see my thread "MM wife finally found out". I left money, for love. Well it was love on my part at least...... Now I have a lot less money........and no love........but at least I am not worried that my soon to be ex H is gonna go "postal" on me either.
bluetuesday Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 true love can conquer anything. but being truly broke all the time is a major cause of stress and would probably pretty swiftly take the edge off the love. i don't believe anyone is happier without the basics covered. the day to day reality of living in each other's pockets without enough cash to get out of the house (if you even have one) is not a happy situation. ideally, money doesn't matter. practically, having a little does. i'd also argue that if it's true love, you wouldn't consider living without much money to be a sacrifice.
morrigan Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 I agree with bluetuesday--being with someone you love is great, but living in severe poverty is a great strain on a person's emotions and self esteem. Some people do marry someone they truly don't love for either financial or emotional security, I'd like to hope they are practical and realize that such a relationship is going to have it's trade offs. And just because a person has large finances, does not mean that they will be generous towards anyone.
Moose Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 I've been on both sides of the spectrum with the same woman, Mrs. Moose of course. When we were broke, it didn't matter. We had the basics, the very basic of the basics. But we survived. It didn't really consume our thoughts much either. I mean, there were times that we wished we could do more things, go more places, but all in all we had each other and there were plenty of things to do like raise our kids. Now we're financially comfortable, and the kids are capable of handling themselves, and we can go and do whatever we want. But for the most part, we don't. I'm not trying to brag, but I think giving where we came from, we have a little more respect for what it took to get here in the first place. We don't abuse it and allow it to consume our thoughts anymore than the lack of money did. I could live with it or without it. But I can't live without my wife and my family. It would literally kill me.
alphamale Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 It is always better to have money cause of 2 things: 1) True love does not exist and if it does it always fades and goes away, money sticks around 2) What money can't buy, it can rent. A wise old rich woman once said "It is always better to cry inside your Rolls Royce than to laugh on a bicycle"
DutyPaid Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 are these absolutes? if i go for true love i can't ever have money? if i go for money i can't ever have true love? i'd go for the money then i'd get a wife and have kids who will love me truly and then i'd have love, sex and money
Wolvesbaned Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 It is always better to have money cause of 2 things: 1) True love does not exist and if it does it always fades and goes away, money sticks around 2) What money can't buy, it can rent. A wise old rich woman once said "It is always better to cry inside your Rolls Royce than to laugh on a bicycle" Yep. That about covers it Although true love doesn't exist (doesn't last forever) money is real... and if used wisely, can last enough to construct your own little monument before you die
seahorse Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 Lol such cynicism!! Well, let me see. Yes, does it have to be quite so black and white? Absolutely no money at all but someone who'll love you forever, and you'll love them. Or rich as Croesus, but no real love in your life at all. When my husband and I first started out, we had very little money; in fact our wedding was basic as basic because we had spent our money on a downpayment on our own little Cornish cottage. We struggled every month to make the mortgage payments, but we were happy enough. 18 years later, we're not struggling anymore, we sold the cottage for a handsome profit, and we now live in a large detached house, but he's had an affair, we're getting a divorce, and I've got a new bf. If I could turn the clock back to our days in our little Cornish cottage, with not a whole lot of cash behind me? Yes...I would.
missopinionated Posted November 21, 2004 Posted November 21, 2004 'Kay, so what's to love about being poor? Such a state is so stressful that it ultimatly ruins whatever love might have existed. Then again, what's to love about simply being weathly? Same deal: if all one has is money but is completely unloveable, the value of said money decreases really fast. I know a bunch of really rich people in England. They drive fancy cars and go to posh parties and drink lovely booze, but the are pretty much uninteresting, and often drunk -- after about an hour, I didn't care if they had, between the four of them, every penny in the world. They sucked. The key is to understand what wealth you already have. In North America, we have so dam much compared to most everyone else in the world that we have no perspective! Some people think a day with a roof and no bombs (Thanks George W) is the richest day every.
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