aff219 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) I'll try and keep this as short and sweet as possible. -2 years, 8 months relationship -semi long distance (she lived 3 hours away, bi-weekly visits since the beginning, 3 day weekends, increased to week, 2 week, month, and finally 3 month trip) -she wanted me to move in since 3rd month I didn't move that early cause I felt it was too soon, around the 6 month mark it came up again, by then we had started arguing. Nothing big or nasty, just enough for me to say "we should work on this before i leave my city to move to her" the longer i didn't move, the angrier she got, the angrier she got the more we argued, the more we argued the more i didn't want to move, big nasty snowball effect. well, cutting to the chase, after the 2 year mark she was completely fed up and the arguments were getting REALLY out of hand, eventually she became cold and distant, our sex life had vanished, she would barely say i love you, etc. skipping all the gritty details, she broke up with me on the 13th of last month, and due to me losing my cool from it, she fully removed contact. blocked number, removed from fb, skype, etc. I attempted to do a few things (stupidly i suppose) to try and show her I'm serious about us. she always complained i never cared, i never do enough, i have no emotion, and with our "last talk" being so bad, i felt I had to do something to show her how much I mean it when I say I don't want this, and to try and better the "last talk" for a chance in the future. -i sent her a very, very thoughtful and romantic gift to her job. no response -i surprise visited her in austin, full suit and tie with flowers, really put my heart on my sleeve (kept a strong attitude, no crying begging etc), was met with pure hostility -finally, at the advice of many female friends, i sent her a letter via facebook, something to say "look, even though you acted like that when i saw you, it didn't change how i feel", specifying i don't expect a response or anything like that. i sent htis message to her email and facebook, not knowing which shed use more often right now anyway, today, just a few minutes ago, she sent a reply to the letter with...a...thumbs up emoticon. I don't even know what to consider that, was it a bitchy move? was it a negative thing? was it a "i saw it, nothing to say, so *thumbs up*"? i shoudl also mention, shortly after leaving me, she instantly started seeing a new dude, and has been trying to use him to slash out at me "I'm really really falling for him. He likes me, he actually LIKES talking to me" etc etc I don't know what to do. I want a second chance with her, part of the reason i spent 3 months with her was to try and work things out, i lost my head when the arguments started and couldn't get past her walls... I'm okay if we don't work out, but not like this. I want an honest attempt with each other, without the anger, talk things out, give it a real shot. I think we can honestly make things work. Edited September 13, 2013 by aff219
Author aff219 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 I'd like some input if possible...what was that thumbs up? was it postive negative or neutral? after the last time i saw her and she railed me hard, i'd assume if she wanted it to be negative she'd have just railed me again... but at the same time thats not much of a positive thing...and even moreso maybe she just accidentally sent it? Do I even try to respond to it? try to make a quick get-in-get-out nothing related to the breakup conversation? "I didn't know how to take the thumbs up, so I just wanted to say hi, I know you're going out of town soon, excited?" i dont know.
Author aff219 Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 man...even on a breakup support forum i can't talkt o anyone...lol =/
spiderowl Posted September 14, 2013 Posted September 14, 2013 Maybe you didn't want to move in for a reason, something was telling you it was not a good idea? I don't know what to suggest really. I think you've tried to win her back and she has resisted most of your attempts. A thumbs up is not much to go on. Do you really want her that badly? If so, it might be best to write to her, tell her what you want rather than random romancing, and then see what she says. If she says no, at least you know there's no point persisting.
Author aff219 Posted September 14, 2013 Author Posted September 14, 2013 Maybe you didn't want to move in for a reason, something was telling you it was not a good idea? I don't know what to suggest really. I think you've tried to win her back and she has resisted most of your attempts. A thumbs up is not much to go on. Do you really want her that badly? If so, it might be best to write to her, tell her what you want rather than random romancing, and then see what she says. If she says no, at least you know there's no point persisting. thanks for the response, to answer: -yes, i know i was hesitant about moving, but in all truth I had worked for hte last year to prep for moving to her (quit my regular job, became self employed, and starte designing it around living with her, and started visiting much more often for much longer stays). On top of that, like I said, I really love this girl, and would move in a heartbeat at this point -yes, i have tried to do what i can to fix this and shes completely resisted. -the "thumbs up" was in response to a letter i wrote that, yes, while being romantic and whatnot, was giving her an honest look into how I feel, so repeating that would just be kicking a dead horse. I accept that this relationship is dead, at this point what I would most like is to just...be able to talk to her. Re-establish a dialogue between the two of us, I honestly believe we could created a stronger, better relationship if I could just do that. The thing is, she's so deadset on "im mad and angry and want nothing to do with you and i'm going to keep busy until i forget about you", i just don't know what I can do that wont' blow up in my face. Going NC, with what shes doing and her personality, she will easily completely forget about me and never look back, she has a track record with it from previous long term boyfriends. but at the same time, coming in too soon is going to backlash on me.
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