Whendovescry Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 MY boyfriend and I broke up because of his busy lifestyle. He had been waiting on a job opportunity for an answer but, ended up not getting the job. Soon after he received a great internship with a company about an hour away from where I live. He decided it would be too hard to keep up a healthy relationship with that distance so he ended it. I have since moved back in with my mother in order to figure out my next move and have had a lot of time to contemplate about our relationship. I believe that once his job situation settles we could be able to reconnect and start over. But, how do I go about initiating that? What's too short or long of a time to try and rekindle things? What is right or wrong to say in this situation? Has anyone been in this situation and it worked out? I need some advice and reassurance. Thanks!
WhiteTan Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 MY boyfriend and I broke up because of his busy lifestyle. He had been waiting on a job opportunity for an answer but, ended up not getting the job. Soon after he received a great internship with a company about an hour away from where I live. He decided it would be too hard to keep up a healthy relationship with that distance so he ended it. I have since moved back in with my mother in order to figure out my next move and have had a lot of time to contemplate about our relationship. I believe that once his job situation settles we could be able to reconnect and start over. But, how do I go about initiating that? What's too short or long of a time to try and rekindle things? What is right or wrong to say in this situation? Has anyone been in this situation and it worked out? I need some advice and reassurance. Thanks! I was seeing a guy for a while but he literally was ALWAYS working, lived an hour away, and eventually decided to stop seeing me because he claimed to be under too much stress to have a relationship. He's recently made it very clear that he wants to date me again and even though I'm not going to proceed with that, I can tell you that there definitely is a good possibility that he will want to get back together with you down the road.. Does that mean it's a good idea? That's up for you to decide. To be honest, if he really cared about you and you were of any significance to him, he would've put the effort in to maintain the relationship regardless of whatever his situation was. His actions show how little he was invested into the relationship because it would've definitely been manageable to stay together under those circumstances. It's not like he moved 3 states away! I don't know either of you so I can only post based off the information I have so I'm sure you are a better judge of his motives than I am. I'm sure time will add clarity to both of your perspectives as well. As long as you left things on civil terms, if he becomes interested again, he will let you know. It's not up to you to initiate that because breaking up was his choice and you're expected to respect that. If you don't, it will push him farther away which will hurt and possibly destroy odds of you two ever getting back together. So yes, it's possible.. but be careful! 1
Misfortune Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 (edited) An hour away? Seriously? That is too much distance? Enough to end a relationship over? -_- People have so many excuses, if he cared and wanted things to work, he would make time and overcome the hurdles. Edited September 13, 2013 by Misfortune 2
Author Whendovescry Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 He works from 8-6 then goes to class m-f 6-10 and has senior seminars all day sunday. Saturday is his only day to do anything. Now, i'm not making excuses because he chose this load. But, He was very honest in the break in that he said he would not have to the time to dedicate to our relationship that would be able to keep it healthy and happy. I agree with him. Only having one day to see each other, and I always work on Saturdays means that we would not see each other enough for either of us to feel satisfied. But, after the first week of December, school ends and it's back to us being on the same schedule. But, who knows. He is potentially going to quit school for any and every job opportunity he deems career worthy. I agree that we both have to much going on, but, that isn't going to last for much longer. We are already 1 out of three months in to our semester. Time is flying and I still really care about him/ want him back. I know we all have to live our lives which sometimes comes off as selfish, and i'm all for going after your dreams/goals. But, I still feel like there is a glimmer of hope and I know myself well enough to know that I will hang on to that which is frustrating.
r321148 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 I'm in a very similar situation with my ex gf. She is in her final year at uni and has really unpredictable and long shifts as well as classes and assignments to do. Also add to it that I may possibly have to move away if I can't find work here (I've just graduated). She said she can't handle it and wouldn't be able to focus on a relationship and ended it for more or less the same reasons as you've given. I am very much a risk taker and a "what's the worst that could happen" kind of person, so I really struggle to understand but I do respect her decision. I am also feeling the glimmer of hope but I'm trying really hard to let go. I know I need to give her space and then if and when she is ready to reconsider I'd hope that she would contact me. In the mean time I am really trying to just move on with my own life. I went on a date (a friend set us up as he thought it would do me good) but it felt really wrong and then I felt awful because the girl I went out with was lovely but I realized she just wasn't my ex... I wouldn't recommend dating again too soon as a way to move on! I don't really know what the answer is and I guess there's no telling as to how things will work out. But I think if he's told you he's so busy then keep on trying to contact him shows you didn't listen or respect his reasons. Just wait to see if he contacts you and then go from there. In the meantime gather your thoughts, work out what you really want and go about improving your own life. It's so hard I know and I really feel your pain. Good luck and stay strong.
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