Esp0125 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I am rather new to this to any help is greatly appreciated... Ok so I met this girl about 4 months ago... She is amazing we get along great and we recently told each other that we love each other, which is rare for me to move this quickly. I am 33 she is 31 now here is the back story she lost her mother suddenly about 6 months prior to us meeting so it is very hard to get out of her shell.. The relationship has been going great, she was sending me those cute texts through out the day telling me she loves me randomly, it really made me smile. She kept saying how it is not like her to do that because she NEVER talks about feelings. I met most of her friends who I have become close and they all tell us that we are going to get married one day. Ok here is where I need advice in the worst way. I am 100% an over thinker which I don't show to her because lets face it I know women hate that. I was married for 4 years and got divorced 3 years ago she cheated so it is what it is... I was never an over thinker before that so I am sure that is where it came from. Little history about the woman I am with.... Her mother passed suddenly 10 months ago. She said it has changed the way she looks at life, before that she wanted to get married the whole 9. She recently told me the reason why that scares her. She sees her dad and she doesn't want to be alone the way he is.... We have gone away for long weekends and when we got back she sent me the nicest text messages telling me she wanted to thank all the BOYS who came into and walked out of her life in the past because she met the man of her dreams. She even told me she told her father that i will prob be his future son in law. I love getting these messages it makes me so happy, but then a couple of days later she will be sad... understandibly thinking about her mother and I am always there for her. You can tell she is a little off so I say what is the matter she says she doesn't wanna be like her dad. I say what about the texts we are so happy together, she says I say what I mean and feel in the texts but ever since her mom she says it always ends up bad and she take a few steps back and gets nervous. Here is my thing I know she loves me I now always worry that she is gonna leave the relationship, I am sure there is nothing wrong but I over think and Its driving me crazy. I guess I need an outside opinion. Should I even worry???? I dont have a problem getting woman thank god but the reason why I think I am so over worrying is because although I have had flings, girlfriends, and other things since my ex wife this is the first girl I have fell in love with since. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
GorillaTheater Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 You're waaaaaaaaaay overthinking this. The statement probably came out of the grieving process she's still working through. Give it time, and for crissakes relax. Everything's fine. 2
Dallers Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 As above you cannot cure your over-thinking way of working but it could cause you problems. Also this: I dont have a problem getting woman thank god Should not even be a thought in your head if you truly love this girl. There should be no escape route as that is just you panicking about her leaving you and making yourself feel better. You need to be there for her and be her rock not start flapping that because she is facing some RL issues that she might get rid of you. I find that I worry and become anxious when I have too much energy and I am alone and not doing anything. Try to wear yourself down throughout the day and always stay active. I make sure I have a solid plan so that from the moment I wake up till the moment I drop I am doing something and exercise as much as possible to fill any gaps. The brain is a brilliant but dangerous thing when you let it run off into the land of 'possibilties'.
Author Esp0125 Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 I appreciate the responses so far. I wasn't saying I can get girls out of cockiness. It was to say I never over thought before I think it's because I actually love this woman. She has told me thousands of time I her rock. I don't know y I get nervous if she changes any type of habit. Worst thing I know it's stupid I just wanna figure out how to stop it hahahaha
GorillaTheater Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I appreciate the responses so far. I wasn't saying I can get girls out of cockiness. It was to say I never over thought before I think it's because I actually love this woman. Dallers pegged it: it's an escape route. You've been crispy-fried burned in your marriage, and there's a part of you that wants to avoid that ever happening again by not letting you get that close to a woman again. THAT'S what you need to be dealing with and working on. 1
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