hollyhillcourt Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Ok, I am a former lurker on here... The A I was having with my MM has started and stopped multiple times. Here is my story: During the months of May and June my MM would come to a bar that I would frequent with my girlfriends. We would ususally go there on Saturday nights, and I never thought I would actually meet anyone there because it's not really the kind of place I like to go. So we are sitting on the patio and I see this man in a very flashy car (Porsche) pull through the parking lot. This is unusual bc/the place is a bit of a dive. So he comes in, checks me out on the way in and sits at a table where he can look through the glass door at me. Stares really. No wedding ring. Just stares and eats dinner. I found this flattering bc/he's tall, handsome, fit, etc. This goes on for 5 weeks!!! It became a running joke with my gf's. One night he comes in with a woman (his wife, but I did not know this until later). So, we are watching this with curiousity, since we are all a little confused. They aren't talking, he's staring and only she is eating. There are 5 girls at the table and everyone thinks she must be his sister, or a bad Match.com date, etc. They leave and as they are walking to his car, he is looking back at me but I refused to look bc/I thought 'this guy must be married.' Next week, he's back - this time on a Friday. So my one gf is like 'this is creepy, either he is going to come talk to you or he needs to stop staring at you.' So she proceeds to go get him, he comes over sits with us, we chat, then all go to another bar. That begins my affair. I learned that he was married, but unhappily (of course!). The next day, he comes to my house, uninvited. I didn't give him my number. He comes over to apologize. We end up going out for a drive and we talk about his marriage, etc. He then begins driving to my house after work 4 nights a week (he works out of town and would drive back for 2 hours to see me). Sometimes I would go visit him where ever he was working. We did the whole dinner, night out thing. So it was more than sex. And honestly, the sex was not that great. He hadn't had it for so long, it was really a work in progress. He constantly told me he was leaving when a milestone had passed, ugh. I ended it with him a couple of times. About 8 weeks in I got the phone call from his wife on his phone. It was about 10:30pm on a Saturday night and I, ironically, was reading about how to end an affair!!!! I hung up. Then she started calling me from her phone and texting me. She wanted to meet me, I refused. We broke contact at that point for about 4 days. He then called me to explain what happened and was happening. They went into therapy. The therapist told him he should leave (as he had been told by this same therapist a year ago). He's still there and I am angry. Angry and also hurt because this is a ridiculous situation for a college-educated, executive, who has no trouble catching a man. But for some idiotic reason, I chose this MM. I constantly hear "I don't know" from him when I ask him if he's leaving. She doesn't want him to, obviously. They've been married for 32 years. I realize this is VERY long, but I had to get all of this off my chest. So, if you made it this far, thank you. Any words of wisdom for getting over this???? Because, I don't think he is leaving. It's been 4 weeks since dday. And he sounds like a pathetic victim every time I talk to him!!!!
SunshineToday Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 Yes. If he truly wanted to leave his marriage he would have done it four weeks ago. Oh the marriage was unhappy? Check. Oh he wasn't getting much sex? Check. Oh you had dinners, it wasn't just about sex. Check. Your affair so far is very very typical. Do you really think he is going to therapy with his wife and he is not trying/or acting like he's trying REALLY hard with his wife? Stop stroking his old ego. Just wait and you will find someone who is 100% yours. All women deserve that.
2sure Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 His wife called you because he is making up some crazy story about you and she would like the truth. He doesn't want her to have the truth because she might leave him. He doesn't want to leave, he just wants to whine, even his therapist, IF there is one, seems to think so. And you get to listen. Also, bringing his wife to eat at the same dive bar he's been lurking at for weeks trying to meet you...is creepy but also really really passive aggressive. 1
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