sickpuppy Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Why do some women pretend to "like" you but expect to be chased and only seem to come around if they suspect someone else may be in the picture? I guess they see you at that point as having "moved on" or someone else sees value in you? IE: They give you their number. You don't chase them. (Their friends ask if you have a girlfriend and if you like anyone.) They face to face tell you to text them on other occassions. You do and make small talk and set up a meet. They agree, "sounds good"..then give the run around or "nice" letdown "I'll let you know". And or never initiate till they think someone else is after you.. Is it some sort of power play or "winning" some sort of game even if they truly may not be interested in you but want the attention you aren't giving them as much as other men would?
Radu Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 They are keeping their options open and overall shopping around. 2
Dallers Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) Attention and ego + as above options, everyone loves options and everyone loves attention and to be honest wouldn't you rather people like you than either not know them at all or be ignored and hated?! I think the answer to this question is that the problem is you not them, you assume that the girl fancies you just because she is of the opposite sex and because there is a slight chance of something happening by getting her number you go over the top too soon and blow your chances. My two best friends are female I have been able to understand this more. I never meet someone new who is female and expect more even if she likes me a lot, not only does it make her want to pursue me if she does not like me I have lost nothing should it never lead to more than a new person in my life or a new friend. The biggest mistake man makes is chasing after someone and giving off needy signals too early because he is too keen or overzealous. Play it cool and if nothing happens you move onto the next one as it was not meant to be anyway. Simply you eliminate the game. Edited September 12, 2013 by Dallers
Author sickpuppy Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 Attention and ego + as above options, everyone loves options and everyone loves attention and to be honest wouldn't you rather people like you than either not know them at all or be ignored and hated?! I think the answer to this question is that the problem is you not them, you assume that the girl fancies you just because she is of the opposite sex and because there is a slight chance of something happening by getting her number you go over the top too soon and blow your chances. My two best friends are female I have been able to understand this more. I never meet someone new who is female and expect more even if she likes me a lot, not only does it make her want to pursue me if she does not like me I have lost nothing should it never lead to more than a new person in my life or a new friend. The biggest mistake man makes is chasing after someone and giving off needy signals too early because he is too keen or overzealous. Play it cool and if nothing happens you move onto the next one as it was not meant to be anyway. Simply you eliminate the game. The top part of your post I agree with. The second part I don't know where you got that I'm going over the top..I barely if but three times in a few months have texted her. I don't run up to her. She'll pass by at times and we'll make small talk. The women in her area asked me if I was single and did I like anyone. She's mentioned me letting her know if I was in her area to meet a while ago. (At the time I thought she had a boyfriend so I didn't follow up) I've recently invited her out. So believe me I'm not chasing. True some women may like that or be used to that but in the end how many of them are worth it if they hardly ever reciprocate interest?
Drewx2 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) The biggest mistake man makes is chasing after someone and giving off needy signals too early because he is too keen or overzealous. Play it cool and if nothing happens you move onto the next one as it was not meant to be anyway. Simply you eliminate the game. What's the difference between needy & aggressive? needy is to romantic as aggressive is to sexual? you obviously can't blow them off completely. Is it good to be sexual but not romantic? Edited September 12, 2013 by Drewx2
Dallers Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) The top part of your post I agree with. The second part I don't know where you got that I'm going over the top..I barely if but three times in a few months have texted her. I don't run up to her. She'll pass by at times and we'll make small talk. The women in her area asked me if I was single and did I like anyone. She's mentioned me letting her know if I was in her area to meet a while ago. (At the time I thought she had a boyfriend so I didn't follow up) I've recently invited her out. So believe me I'm not chasing. True some women may like that or be used to that but in the end how many of them are worth it if they hardly ever reciprocate interest? My point being they mess you about screw em they are not worth it. You are letting it get to you by coming onto the forum asking why woman pretend to like you and that has been answered. The most common mistake men make is giving a s**t and letting it get to them. No reply, bye. Next. If she likes you she will contact you, meet up with you, pursue you or pursue you back. Otherwise you are wasting your time and emotions on a nobody. It has to be 50/50 or 60/40. If it is 90/10. Save yourself the hassle. What's the difference between needy & aggressive? needy is to romantic as aggressive is to sexual? you obviously can't blow them off completely. Is it good to be sexual but not romantic? Why would you ever want to be aggressive. You can look up those words in a dictionary and it will explain what they mean. I do not see how needy is romantic. Edited September 12, 2013 by Dallers
Author sickpuppy Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 My point being they mess you about screw em they are not worth it. You are letting it get to you by coming onto the forum asking why woman pretend to like you and that has been answered. The most common mistake men make is giving a s**t and letting it get to them. No reply, bye. Next. If she likes you she will contact you, meet up with you, pursue you or pursue you back. Otherwise you are wasting your time and emotions on a nobody. It has to be 50/50 or 60/40. If it is 90/10. Save yourself the hassle. Agreed. Then again what are these forums for?
Dallers Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Agreed. Then again what are these forums for? For you to ask a question that you already know the answer to, you just need someone else to confirm it for you. Or make you see sense. Not saying you have to do anything I say, eventually after chasing after the same old bone a dog gets bored and buries it. Just trying to save you some time.
truth_seeker Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 My point being they mess you about screw em they are not worth it. You are letting it get to you by coming onto the forum asking why woman pretend to like you and that has been answered. The most common mistake men make is giving a s**t and letting it get to them. No reply, bye. Next. If she likes you she will contact you, meet up with you, pursue you or pursue you back. Otherwise you are wasting your time and emotions on a nobody. It has to be 50/50 or 60/40. If it is 90/10. Save yourself the hassle. Yea, I agree with this 100%. I admit, just recently, I gave a sh-t and it backfired. I'm usually cool, but this one girl got under my skin. You really have to keep your emotions in check when meeting new women. Make the necessary first moves and then sit back. If they come calling, you continue. If you feel you have to go after them, forget it. There are though some exceptions. I remember pursuing a woman for 6 months. She thought I was a player full of myself. The more she got to know me, the more comfortable she felt around me, lowered her guard, and we went out. Probably one of the best times I ever played it cool. Lately, though, been off my game. 1
Dallers Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) Yea, I agree with this 100%. I admit, just recently, I gave a sh-t and it backfired. I'm usually cool, but this one girl got under my skin. You really have to keep your emotions in check when meeting new women. Make the necessary first moves and then sit back. If they come calling, you continue. If you feel you have to go after them, forget it. There are though some exceptions. I remember pursuing a woman for 6 months. She thought I was a player full of myself. The more she got to know me, the more comfortable she felt around me, lowered her guard, and we went out. Probably one of the best times I ever played it cool. Lately, though, been off my game. Exactly that, until your gut tells you that her sugar is sweeter than anyone else's do not dive into the cookie jar head first! We are taught as children about the the Tortoise and the Hare. Some were clearly not listening P.s Game comes and goes. I am going through a moment of lack of game, not out of wanting out of choice. I need a year off from it all and I am focusing solely on me. Every now and then you get an urge but I have decided to stay free of it all till 2014. Embrace it. Edited September 12, 2013 by Dallers 1
carhill Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Although the OP's description sounds, to me, more like teenage girls than adult women, I have experienced this with adult women and, in retrospect, such masking, whether in a dynamic which goes nowhere or one which ends up in a relationship/dating dynamic, trends to the disordered. The anecdotes I've experienced run far beyond innocent games like in the OP. Heck, I experienced what he's talking about so much that I pretty much figured it was normal by the time I hit my mid-20's. It lessened after that.
Author sickpuppy Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) Although the OP's description sounds, to me, more like teenage girls than adult women, I have experienced this with adult women and, in retrospect, such masking, whether in a dynamic which goes nowhere or one which ends up in a relationship/dating dynamic, trends to the disordered. The anecdotes I've experienced run far beyond innocent games like in the OP. Heck, I experienced what he's talking about so much that I pretty much figured it was normal by the time I hit my mid-20's. It lessened after that. The girls almost 28. Guess she's still in that phase or is used to guys chasing her. I have noticed her while working staring in my direction. (Most likely as she's wondering why I'm not chasing or staring back.) Interesting thing is I all of a sudden get a text from her out of the blue the night of a woman in my dept I talk to a lot was near her and told me the girl I like gave her a dirty look. (most likely sent the text to see if I'd respond. We made quick small talk but in hindsight I should've simply ignored it as I've invited her out and her response was "sounds good" I'll let you know..) There's other women who are interested in me but I don't want to be dating everyone at the same time. Gets to be too much. I'll wait a week and ask another chick who gave me her number to go out. I'll keep it cool and cordial with the original one but won't entertain whatever nonsense she craves. Edited September 12, 2013 by sickpuppy
carhill Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 OP, IMO the best way to deal with these personality types is to get assertive sexually and physically. Don't pussyfoot around. No ambiguity. When I say sexually, I'm not talking about sex, as in PIV, rather unmistakable signals in word and action that you're sexually interested. That can be words, it can be touch, it can be how you kiss her, etc, etc. If there's any ambiguity about response, that's a *no*. Accept it, grab your tools, pull up the rig and move to the next hole. This one might pop some gas out once in awhile but there's no back gold down there. Women who are skilled at 'like' manipulation will eat you for lunch unless you're a pro (player) so IMO don't bother. Approach someone else. Good luck.
Author sickpuppy Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 (edited) OP, IMO the best way to deal with these personality types is to get assertive sexually and physically. Don't pussyfoot around. No ambiguity. When I say sexually, I'm not talking about sex, as in PIV, rather unmistakable signals in word and action that you're sexually interested. That can be words, it can be touch, it can be how you kiss her, etc, etc. If there's any ambiguity about response, that's a *no*. Accept it, grab your tools, pull up the rig and move to the next hole. This one might pop some gas out once in awhile but there's no back gold down there. Women who are skilled at 'like' manipulation will eat you for lunch unless you're a pro (player) so IMO don't bother. Approach someone else. Good luck. You aren't kidding. No joke I was thinking the same thing. I'm not looking to just f around to a "relationship" as limp wristed as that sounds.lol I'm also not looking for straight up serious relationship or dating just going out and see how we got along outside. In all honesty unfortunately I've a feeling she isn't that type. Then again no bitterness but I believe water always finds it's own level. There's other girls that I've heard like me there. One I have her number. I'll call her and see what's up. If that one works out. Fine. If not. That's fine too. I'm not one of those types that determines my "happiness" all of a sudden because I've "found" someone. I'm pretty level headed and laid back as well as being realistic with things and myself. Just helps seeing it typed out and answered. lol Edited September 12, 2013 by sickpuppy
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