oldsoul1922 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I'm a 26 year old guy. Tall, dark hair and honestly very handsome. I recently left someone I loved very much because she had a pathological lying problem. When I started to realize this, I began queationing everything which wventually led me to question her loyalty. She was very outward about how loyal she was, always talking about it from when I first met her. She would also fly this flag of morality and honesty. A always talking about it. Wen I began to notice the lies, I began to question these pillars of morality she constantly reminded you that she lived by. She had been married and divorced twice by the time she was 25, another red flag. But she claimed both marriages ends because she was victimized, outrageous stories go along with both marriages. 2 more things I must question if they are true or not. Bottom line, aside from this, I loved her to death. Loved her smile her charm her style her routine I mean everything. I can't get over her, it's been 4 months since I left. I still think about her most of the day, miss being with her. I don't have a lot of confidence. Some things from my childhood ruined that, but I know I'm tall and very good looking. I almost feel like the 2 of those together (good looking but low on confidence) hurt things more than help. I'm feeling so low, I cry everyday. I have grown to hate life these past few moths. I just hate my existence I need help
Sparkle304 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Please don't hate your existence! I think you're becoming depressed. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Depression can take you to some very dark places. And it can be scary. You need to focus on yourself and try to recognize the positive. I appreciated your post, especially the line, "She would also fly this flag of morality and honesty. And always talking about it." My ex would always, always tell me, "I'm not THAT guy". He would say that he wasn't looking for fast hook-ups because he'd been there and done that. He'd always profess that he wanted a solid relationship. He was the 'good' guy who had been previously cheated on and he could never do that to someone else. HA! I suspect he was nothing but a liar..... Your feelings are temporary. You will get through this!! Keep posting.....
Author oldsoul1922 Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 I have a family that loves me, from a distance. I live alone in a city far from my family, but I have support but just can't find comfort. This girl has really gotten under my skin. I loved her and I noticed the minor lies about things. Small....like one time I called her and she was leaving t's grocery store according to what she said. She said she was getting shampoo, a very specific shampoo that she uses that I know for a fact the grocery store did not carry. It's only available from an upscale salon. Things that I would just be like, why would you lie about that?? She told me that her 2nd ex husband and her broke up because he started a porn website and was participating and filming videos. This is just so outrageous that its almost unbelievable. Obviously she has problems keeping relationships considering that he was married and divorced twice before 25. But all that aside. With all the reasons I have to hate her, and never want to talk to her again. Even after me being the one who left her, with her begging to stay with me apologizing for fabricating things about me with no explanation for it, I still think about her every day. I still yearn for the way she made me feel. I've never felt I good in my life. Life was brighter, fuller, sweeter, more rewarding with her. Having her wake up in the middle of the night and kiss me, and just genuinely love me for exactly who I was was just so amazing. We had similar personalities. Both old souls with deep appreciations for the classics. I literally cry as I type this on my iPhone from work right now. I created a colorful image of the future with her in my mind and moving forward without her part of my life feels wrong. How can I still feel this way for her when she has done what she did to me? My family can't understand. They ask me howninam even think about her after her clearly demonstrating that she is literally mentally not sane. Maybe I'm crazy too? I don't know who I am anymore. I hate myself recently. I only recognize what I think is wrong with me. I can't look in the mirror and see the good, I just focus on what I think is wrong and I hate myself for it. I don't haw the self confidence to realize that I am a genuinely attractive guy with a giant heart and endless amounts of love to give. I know those things about myself but Ita like I can't act confident about it. I can't be happy with myself. I'm in a bad place and I do t know where else to go than here
Sparkle304 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 #1 - You need to see a doctor. You need to be on an antidepressant. #2 - You need to see a therapist. Yes, friends and family are great, but sometimes a professional can help you sort out your feelings. #3 - You will regain your confidence. It will take time - lots of time, but it will happen. #4 - Time will pass and with it change will occur.
RiceaRoni Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 You did what was right for you dear. her lying made you question her and her loyalty. What if you spent your whole life with her? You'd be questioning her motives, and that can become so stressful after a long while..not knowing if she's lying or telling the truth. You did what you had to do for yourself. Yes, you loved her to death and that's okay..you had something together, but realize that in the end things will turn out the way they're suppose to be. Take some time to yourself. Don't lower your confidence over this, be strong, stay with family and friends, and if you really need it go seek professional help. Time heals all wounds. It really does. Things will turn out for the best.
the tank Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 Been there one month ago , when I confront her about her lie. (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/421767-how-get-over-liar) Next tuesday, it gonna be two week I will be in no contact . And it still hard. When I read your story I feel like it was mine. I understand how you feel. But think about it. She will not change because you take her back . Small lie, Big lie .. that's the same. You will always wonder if she is telling you the thruth. She betrays your confidence . In my case I find many other lie after the break up. That was not your fault . You were brave and took the right decision.
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