Dadubwa Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 okay so it's last year durring the summer and my friend of 5 years starts "liking me" I'm of course in the closet (I didn't come out until the middle of last year)...so I go out with her...we had sex at about 5 months in the relationship and I was only 14, idk if that was to early for me or what...but that's the girl I lost my lesbian virginity to...my friend of 5 years! I mean I'm totally not a slut or anything I swear I'm like so not! But anyways...Her name is kris...and sometimes I wonder if I was to young to have sex and I was just letting my hormons take my mentality...the point is...idk if I ever really loved kris...maybe that's why I feel like sex is bad because you're supposed to have sex with someone you love right? well...idk if I ever really loved kris...she was a really great person and a good girlfriend but we fought all the time like consently...she's medicaly depressed and sometimes she or I would use that as in acscuse of why we fought so much...but within time I realized I was letting things slide that..maybe I shouldn't have...like her cheating on me...and idk...well...(I'm getting into alot of topics now and getting off topic too!) I find when I talk to Kayln (my current girlfriend) in the back of my head I want to call her Kris!!! idk why! they're nothing alike!...well I guess there are a few similar things... 1. They're both vegetarians 2. They're both really light skined 3. They both have blue eyes 4. They both have the same type cheeks 5. They both have names that begin with "K" 6. They both have the same type of eye brows... -idk maybe I have a type??? That is still no reason I should be calling my current My Ex's name... I've called Kayln Kris like 2 times sometimes durring sex I almost feel like yelling out "Kris" insted of "Kayln" -One time when I was talking to kayln (sunday night) I said "You're so pretty Kr..K!..." I was going to say "Kris" But I covered it up with just saying "You're so pretty K...?" lol and making it sound like a question..I know kayln knew she def. had some type of idea... -THE POINT is....I love Kayln with all my heart and I DON'T like Kris and I know it...sometimes I wonder what it would be like to go out with kris again but doesn't everyone!? I'm so happy with Kayln and I'm totally afraid if I keep calling her my ex's name she's going to freak out and she's not like that at all she's so mellow and I just...I love her and don't want to her to flip on me!.......OK SO BACK TO THE POINT! And the Questions!...... A) Maybe I think I had sex to early because I may not have ever been in love with Kris when we had sex and now I'm afraid that if I have sex with someone else I don't love it might be the same!!? But I'm in love with kayln I KNOW I am... B) Maybe I think sex is just gross! Ya know!? because who wants to eat a girl out because they like it!? I mean...that's not to often...but to tell the truth I don't mind...maybe kayln is the same way??.. C) HOW do I stop calling Kayln "Kris"!?!? P.S. Thank you so much for your comment!! I was hoping all day long someone would have an answer or at least a comment for me! THANKS SO MUCH!
gd1039 Posted November 20, 2004 Posted November 20, 2004 I call one of my friends Garry, instead of George. I don't know what it is, but I can't get his name straight. I seem to have to remind myself a lot that his name isn't Garry, before I talk to him. He adapted by calling me a different name.
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