Have i messed this up? she's gone cold

[movin it]

Hey guys,

 

I will give you a quick rundown on what has been happening for me.

I'm 29 and i'm not shy with girls and I have a lot of experience with them over the years, I don't have to many dramas getting laid, but where my dramas lye is when I meet the girl that actually knocks my socks off.

 

I went on a date about 2.5 weeks ago now with a girl I met through a dating site, I rate her a 9/10 in the looks dept and we both agreed we had a really good time together on the date, I didn't go in for the kiss like I normally would because I figured I would wait for the 2nd date, she txtd me the next day to say she enjoyed herself and I agreed and said we should do it again.

 

We booked a date for the following Friday but I had to cancel due to a work commitment, I rescheduled for the sunday but she had a wedding on.

So I txtd her again on sunday and said how about Friday, to which she replied "Friday! that's ages away?"

I came back with what I thought was a witty comment and said "Gee impatient aren't you? i'm a busy man, only other night I have free is wednsday (which I would've had to squeeze to fit her in) since Friday is (AGES) away"

she replied with "impatient. haha I met you like 2 weeks ago, I mean to me any plans can be made in a weeks time so I wont lock much in"

 

I replied with "yeah it has been a while, I've been pretty busy the last few weeks, does wednsday sound better?"

 

Didn't get a response.

 

I txt her again 3 days later on wednsday now and tried to build into some banter a bit by asking what she rated herself out of 10 at giving massages, to which she responded she isn't very good at giving but is good at receiving.

 

I did have some other comebacks with that but wont go to deep.

 

I hit her up for meeting up Friday again to which she said "I'll see how I go, I feel random about it now because it's been left so long"

 

I replied with "I've had a lot going on the past couple of weeks, personal stuff that has needed my attention. I definitely enjoyed catching up with you last time though and have been looking forward to catching up again"

 

I sent that yesterday, To which she has not responded to that.

 

Have I stuffeded it up because I have just been to busy?

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! thanks guys

[semicharmedlife]

If she really knocks your socks off...pick up the phone and call her! anyone can send a lazy *ss text message...

[heartshaped]

Doesn't sound like she's interested anymore. I'd move on.

[MidwestUSA]

"Friday?! That's ages away!" That was your 'in' , and you blew it. Should have put Wednesday out there as a more solid option (without the joking) given there had already been so much flaking. She's already viewing you as not dependable. Sorry.

 

The massage rating thing was just creepy for someone you've been on one date with, and probably sealed your fate.

Edited September 12, 2013 by MidwestUSA

[ChatroomHero]

I think you were being sarcastic in your reply but she took offense to that. She can't get the tone from a text. It sounded like you were implying she was needy, clingy dependent...even though you were sending it playfully she was probably put off by it.

 

That's why men call and boys text. Call her.

[KAOJ]

 

The massage rating thing was just creepy for someone you've been on one date with, and probably sealed your fate.

 

Agreed! Very creepy.

[Atem]

I think you were being sarcastic in your reply but she took offense to that. She can't get the tone from a text. It sounded like you were implying she was needy, clingy dependent...even though you were sending it playfully she was probably put off by it.

 

That's why men call and boys text. Call her.

 

This.

 

ALWAYS call. Especially when you do OLD.

 

Here are the rules that have worked very well for me:

 

- get her # within your first 3 messages

- tell her "Hi this is [NAME], I'll call you tomorrow after work" in your first text

- call next day after work

- NEVER text again (unless you really, really have to and even then - keep it short and to the point - no pseudo witty bull**** that could be interpreted the wrong way)

 

good luck next time

 

nuff said

[Atem]

slight add-on to my previous message:

 

if you get to a point where you don't really give a **** about a girl but still want to talk to her for whatever reason (even if it is to just selfishly keep her "warm"), THEN you can taper her off with texts

 

however, if you DO care about a gal - call/leave a message/tell her to CALL you - no texting

[curlygirl40]

"Friday?! That's ages away!" That was your 'in' , and you blew it. Should have put Wednesday out there as a more solid option (without the joking) given there had already been so much flaking. She's already viewing you as not dependable. Sorry.

 

The massage rating thing was just creepy for someone you've been on one date with, and probably sealed your fate.

 

100% this.

 

And it's Wednesday. :-) Sorry, couldn't help it.

 

If I was on her end, I would think you weren't really that interested, just keeping me on the back burner, multi dating or just looking for sex.

 

The comment about massages would also put me off. You're not text bantering with her all day and you're still getting to know her and that's all you can think to ask her to keep a conversation going?

 

Both of those things would be a red flag to me.

 

At this point you can call her and apologize for being so busy and that so much time has passed but tell her you would like to make it up to her with dinner and have a few nights off the top of your head that you know you're free.

 

Good luck!

[movin it]

Thanks guys, I think I took some advice about the banter thing from the wrong person.

 

I normally do make phone calls as I hate txting because I am really crap it getting my msg across that way, I prefer phone calls or face to face, i'm in sales and that's how I sell.

 

I have nothing to lose now so I will give her a call today sometime and have one last stitch effort at rearranging that 2nd date I missed the boat on.

 

thanks again

[spiderowl]

My thoughts are that if she is that beautiful, she will be used to guys jumping to get dates and giving her lots and lots of attention. She is likely to be used to being spoilt. Any guy that waits a week to see her probably doesn't seem very keen in comparison and she may feel like she's on the back burner. You've kept in touch regularly so it's not as though you've shown a lack of interest.

 

On the whole, I would think either she thinks it's beneath her to have to wait, when guys jump at her very presence, or she's just not that interested and therefore looking for any excuse not to bother.

 

If she's not responding, sounds like she's given up anyway.

[movin it]

Ok so she txt me this morning saying

 

"trying to toss up about tonight. I got called into work. I finish at eight."

 

So I took you guys advice and did what I would normally do I called her.

 

I started the convo with "Hey stranger!, it's been a while....almost can't even remember what you look like"

 

She giggled and then said "Wow I wasn't expecting you to call me, I was expecting a txt"

 

I just replied with "well as you have probably already figured out, I am the worlds ****test txt msger so I figured i'd just call to make it easier for you"

 

She laughed and said "Yeah well i'm not that great either"

 

I said to her that "I am happy to meet up after 8 aslong as she is comfortable with that and to see how she feels when she knocks off work"

 

She said it's been so long since we last met up that she feels a little weird about it"

 

I just replied with "yeah I do apologize for how long it has taken me to set a definite 2nd meet up, because I have genuinely had a few things going on the past few weeks which I had to deal with"

 

She asked what they were and I told her "one of the things was because I had an accident on my bike because I got run of the road by a car on the wrong side of the road" she was acting all worried asking if im ok etc

 

She asked what the other thing was and I said "i'll tell you later" to which she replied inn a playful way "no tell me...." I just replied with "Nar i'll have to tell you later because I have to go for a hair cut booking in a minute"

 

Then I finished with "ok well let me know how you're feeling after work and we'll go from there, i'd really like to see you again, I will talk to you later"

 

 

Do you guys think I have salvaged it so far? (P.S. all the above things are true I wasn't making any of the things that have happened up)

[HappyLove]

Ok so she txt me this morning saying

 

"trying to toss up about tonight. I got called into work. I finish at eight."

 

So I took you guys advice and did what I would normally do I called her.

 

I started the convo with "Hey stranger!, it's been a while....almost can't even remember what you look like"

 

She giggled and then said "Wow I wasn't expecting you to call me, I was expecting a txt"

 

I just replied with "well as you have probably already figured out, I am the worlds ****test txt msger so I figured i'd just call to make it easier for you"

 

She laughed and said "Yeah well i'm not that great either"

 

I said to her that "I am happy to meet up after 8 aslong as she is comfortable with that and to see how she feels when she knocks off work"

 

She said it's been so long since we last met up that she feels a little weird about it"

 

I just replied with "yeah I do apologize for how long it has taken me to set a definite 2nd meet up, because I have genuinely had a few things going on the past few weeks which I had to deal with"

 

She asked what they were and I told her "one of the things was because I had an accident on my bike because I got run of the road by a car on the wrong side of the road" she was acting all worried asking if im ok etc

 

She asked what the other thing was and I said "i'll tell you later" to which she replied inn a playful way "no tell me...." I just replied with "Nar i'll have to tell you later because I have to go for a hair cut booking in a minute"

 

Then I finished with "ok well let me know how you're feeling after work and we'll go from there, i'd really like to see you again, I will talk to you later"

 

 

Do you guys think I have salvaged it so far? (P.S. all the above things are true I wasn't making any of the things that have happened up)

 

 

Yes, I think you did great! Good job calling! She's getting on my nerves though, I mean your really putting yourself out there and she's acting like you should kiss her butt. Does she wanna go out or not? Who has time to convince somebody. She needs to get over herself. I'd give one last call to set up the date, she does any wishy washy crap again, just say that's ok I see you're not really into going out it was nice meeting you goodnight. And go no contact. Let her come to you if she ever gets interested.

[semicharmedlife]

You did great! but please don't go no contact at this point...what would that prove...just be yourself...no games...no b.s....If you want to see her...make time for her & Im sure if she wants to see you...she will do the same...Good Luck!

[tinydancer93]

If it were me, I would assume you weren't that interested in me and I would move on. Most girls know that if a guy is really into them, no amount of 'busy' could get in the way of seeing them. Especially in the early stages of dating, you really need to make an effort to show the girl that you are genuinely interested in her. No girl wants to date someone who is only lukewarm about her - even if you're not, that's how you come across.

[soccerrprp]

Hey guys,

 

I will give you a quick rundown on what has been happening for me.

I'm 29 and i'm not shy with girls and I have a lot of experience with them over the years, I don't have to many dramas getting laid, but where my dramas lye is when I meet the girl that actually knocks my socks off.

 

I went on a date about 2.5 weeks ago now with a girl I met through a dating site, I rate her a 9/10 in the looks dept and we both agreed we had a really good time together on the date, I didn't go in for the kiss like I normally would because I figured I would wait for the 2nd date, she txtd me the next day to say she enjoyed herself and I agreed and said we should do it again.

 

We booked a date for the following Friday but I had to cancel due to a work commitment, I rescheduled for the sunday but she had a wedding on.

So I txtd her again on sunday and said how about Friday, to which she replied "Friday! that's ages away?"

I came back with what I thought was a witty comment and said "Gee impatient aren't you? i'm a busy man, only other night I have free is wednsday (which I would've had to squeeze to fit her in) since Friday is (AGES) away"

she replied with "impatient. haha I met you like 2 weeks ago, I mean to me any plans can be made in a weeks time so I wont lock much in"

 

I replied with "yeah it has been a while, I've been pretty busy the last few weeks, does wednsday sound better?"

 

Didn't get a response.

 

I txt her again 3 days later on wednsday now and tried to build into some banter a bit by asking what she rated herself out of 10 at giving massages, to which she responded she isn't very good at giving but is good at receiving.

 

I did have some other comebacks with that but wont go to deep.

 

I hit her up for meeting up Friday again to which she said "I'll see how I go, I feel random about it now because it's been left so long"

 

I replied with "I've had a lot going on the past couple of weeks, personal stuff that has needed my attention. I definitely enjoyed catching up with you last time though and have been looking forward to catching up again"

 

I sent that yesterday, To which she has not responded to that.

 

Have I stuffeded it up because I have just been to busy?

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! thanks guys

 

I don't know how long she's been dating or what kind of experience she's had in the past, but if I were insecure at all, I'd think that you were not that into me or providing excuses while, maybe, seeing someone else so the excuses about being busy. She says herself that withing the two weeks, more opps to get together should have been had.

 

Yeah, not that you could help it, but you're being TOO busy may have wrecked things.