guyonthelamb Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Hi, There is this one girl that I used to be crazy about. We hung out a lot. Both agreed to take things slow. Towards the end she got distant. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Come to find out she was talking to another guy. Now about 1.5 year later she's out of that relationship and kind of 'hanging' around me again. She won't admit it but I can be pretty sure that she wants to pick up where we left of. I was quite heart broken but I got over it. I don't want to go through all of that again either from her doing the exact same thing while she's getting over this guy or somewhere in the long run if she and I were to get together. She's a great girl. 1/3 of me says hook up with her. 2/3 of me is still bitter and cautious because I don't want to go through this again. Should I even try to be friends with her or just kindly sever things off completely and walk away?
KathyM Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 IMO, if she didn't value you enough the first time around, and left you for another man, then she doesn't deserve a second chance.
Trimmer Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 There is this one girl that I used to be crazy about. We hung out a lot. Both agreed to take things slow. Towards the end she got distant. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Come to find out she was talking to another guy. Now about 1.5 year later she's out of that relationship and kind of 'hanging' around me again. She won't admit it but I can be pretty sure that she wants to pick up where we left of. Hmmm.... Are you sure she's really "out of that relationship? Are you sure she isn't doing the monkey-swing thing, reaching out to you as her next vine, before she lets go of the last one? (Just like she did when she left you?) "She's a great girl." Yeeeaahhh, except for that whole "broke my heart" thing...
r321148 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 How old are you if you don't mind me asking. Sometimes when we're young and unsure about feelings/plans/futures we can make poor decisions and maybe she did just that. After all you were only ever 'taking things slow' and not actually going out if I understand rightly? In that case she had every right to date someone else. She may have finally realised that it was a bad decision? On the other hand you do need to make sure she's not just on the rebound and using you as a comfortable option to fill a void in her life. I definitely wouldn't let her back too easily. Maybe try just casually hanging out with her occasionally for a bit until you can be sure she's over the previous relationship. Don't take it into a friendzone but don't make yourself too available either. At the end of this you should be in a better position to judge whether she actually likes you or just wanted somebody and saw you as the easy and 'safe' option. Good luck with whatever you decide.
stillafool Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I wouldn't give her another chance to break my heart. I agree with Kathy that if she didn't value you the first time more than likely she will hurt you again. Pass on this one.
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