veryconfusedyesvery Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Hi all, I'm new here. Thanks for reading this, here's my situation- He's in his mid-20s. We've know each other about a year now, but only started dating earlier this year. I really like him, and he was very excited about our "relationship" at the beginning as well (well, guys probably all are). Have been seeing him for 3 months (right after we started dating, I went abroad for the summer). Of course, the communication faded gradually when I was abroad, but we still exchanged messages and stuff occasionally. (weird? I know.) Then I came back, wanted things to work (we are currently not in the same city, but close enough), so I texted him and said, "I'm still interested, I don't know if you feel the same way or you are more interested in a friendship." He replied, "hmm let's see." After that, he'd still message me and make small talk, but never mentioned anything about my question. It's been almost a month now. Is he still interested? Should I ask? Or take "let's see" as a NO, and move on? Thanks guys!!
belocchoc129 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I think when he said 'let's see', he really meant it. He just wasn't sure at the moment what his feelings were. I guess if you really like him, you can take more time to hang out more and see where it goes. So have you guys been hanging out? Or has he made any efforts to do so?
emva07 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I mean he obviously didn't feel the same when you came back as he did when you left. Add to that the fact that you are still a distance away. I wouldn't be too thrilled to get a "hmm lets see" but I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Could legit want to sort his feelings out after not having you around for the summer, which for a new relationship can prove catastrophic. But you had to do what you had to do! Studying abroad is a fabulous and enriching experience! But after a month? That's where I become inclined to think the answer is no.
Author veryconfusedyesvery Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 I think when he said 'let's see', he really meant it. He just wasn't sure at the moment what his feelings were. I guess if you really like him, you can take more time to hang out more and see where it goes. So have you guys been hanging out? Or has he made any efforts to do so? Thanks, Belocchoc!! That's the problem: we're not in the same city (4 hours driving). He's just moved to a new city where he landed a job (the job starts next week), so we haven't seen each other since I'm back... except messaging And it's been three weeks since I first asked him... I'm just afraid that my waiting would end up with nothing but hurt feelings (it's already hurt.)
Author veryconfusedyesvery Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 I mean he obviously didn't feel the same when you came back as he did when you left. Add to that the fact that you are still a distance away. I wouldn't be too thrilled to get a "hmm lets see" but I would give him the benefit of the doubt. Could legit want to sort his feelings out after not having you around for the summer, which for a new relationship can prove catastrophic. But you had to do what you had to do! Studying abroad is a fabulous and enriching experience! But after a month? That's where I become inclined to think the answer is no. Thanks emva! And I thought a decent person would actually give an answer instead of leaving me in the dark (and I do think he's a decent person) I mean, how hard it is to say "let's be friends"? Man up please.... ahhhhhh
Author veryconfusedyesvery Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 More? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!!
Kelly15 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 I say start backing off and preparing yourself for a little disappointment.
heartshaped Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 He's not interested in anything but maybe keeping you on a back burner. I'd cut contact and move on.
Sparkle304 Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 From my experience (and I'm in my mid-30s), this guy has turned his attention elsewhere. Sorry to be so blunt! Do you really want to date a guy who is only lukewarm towards you?! Hell no!!!! You want a guy who can't wait to talk to you, to see you, to spend time with you. Yes, you may be disappointed now, but TRUST ME, you will get over him. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 He doesn't sound very interested anymore. I'd move on.
Kaiten Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 In a flash of white lightning, Kaiten appeared. If you ask me, and you did, it sounds like he likes you. And yet... And yet he isn't showing that initiative. That's confusing isn't it? I wouldn't say move on just yet. Not if you really like this guy. I will tell you what I think in all of my Spinning Wisdom... I think to him, you are but one option of many. Perhaps he is on the lookout. He could be "talking" to other girls at the same time. This is a common case. I tell you, it does not feel good to be the "fallback" option for someone. Are you not good enough to be someone's first choice? Perhaps this man needs to feel the pressure. Show him that you aren't going to stick around to wait on him. Unfortunately, from the sound of your story, this is the best case scenario. I must return to my own world now. Kaiten has disappeared.
OtakuGirl Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 It's tough but I have to agree with the majority of responders who think he's lost interest. I think it's possible he's playing the field and got you on the back burner, but if you stick around o find out for sure you may miss out on meeting new guys. I think it would be wise to move on. Good luck! Ps. For him to say "hmm" - a bit rude of him lol! As in, if he's having to "think about it"... He should be straight up with you and if he was truly interested no hmmm ing would be necessary.
cif Posted September 13, 2013 Posted September 13, 2013 What kind of R are you hoping to have with someone who lives 4 hours away?
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