blindhope Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 My ex of 8 years walked out with out notice about 8 months ago. She left me for someone else. Someone I could never see working for her, but what does it matter. She was the sweet innocent girl who fell for the criminal she could save. I was left heart broken, defeated and lost. I had nothing and couldn't sink any lower. I was alone, rejected and back to square one in life. So I began to rebuild myself and my life. Now I sit here stronger than before. I am focused and driven, I have a passion I long have lost. But I still miss her. I no longer need her, or struggle with losing her. I sleep well at night and push forward ever day. There is only one problem. Not a moment goes by that I don't think about her. I still love her. I still wonder what could be. I miss her on what would be 8 years since our first real date. But not just today. I may not struggle with out her. I know life is moving us apart forever. I can understand all that is, and why it's not to be. I recognize who she became and what she did to me. My brain knows all to well that this will all pass and but my heart keeps her. I have never loved anyone more than I loved her, so it is understandable to still have feelings, even after everything. But as time goes on my love does not wain, or become faint. I am stuck realizing I made plenty of mistakes too. We never got our second chance. We pushed each other away passively and never fought when we should have. It's too late to tell her what she meant to me. To let her know how much I miss the things I hated most. I can't turn back the clock and show her what she was to me. And I fear I will have to live the rest of my life knowing the person I treasured more than anything in this world will never know the affect she has on me. So even though I know better and continue move forward, at least once a day I find myself holding my breathe as time slows down, to see if she is just around the bend.
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