Jump to content

Can a guy friendzone a girl he was once sexually drawn to?

emva07

By emva07
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
Posted

Guy and girl were about to have sex, they both really wanted it.

Were about to do it twice but were interrupted both times, girl becomes frustrated and tells him forget about it. Guy says please give me a chance, it's only been twice, I promise I'll deliver the next time, etc, etc.

Girl still says, no, I'm over it.

Guy says, "ok, I saw you as a friend anyway"

Now she has become friend zoned but he constantly tells her of girls he'd like to hook up with.

Seems like they both still want it but are both lying to each other about it and still carry on a friendship.

L1ght Established Member

L1ght

Posted
Posted
Guy and girl were about to have sex, they both really wanted it.

Were about to do it twice but were interrupted both times, girl becomes frustrated and tells him forget about it. Guy says please give me a chance, it's only been twice, I promise I'll deliver the next time, etc, etc.

Girl still says, no, I'm over it.

Guy says, "ok, I saw you as a friend anyway"

Now she has become friend zoned but he constantly tells her of girls he'd like to hook up with.

Seems like they both still want it but are both lying to each other about it and still carry on a friendship.

Why would you say "no, I'm over it" in the first place? From the guys perspective he will have been upset that you gave up and rejected him so easily so his response is obviously to act like its no big thing and he is letting you know that he is going to pursue other options.

The situation is salvageable if you cut to the chase and just get on with it instead of playing games and dancing around the main issue while pretending you both aren't interested in each other.

  • Like 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Established Member

HoneyBadgerDontCare

Posted
Posted
Guy and girl were about to have sex, they both really wanted it.

Were about to do it twice but were interrupted both times, girl becomes frustrated and tells him forget about it. Guy says please give me a chance, it's only been twice, I promise I'll deliver the next time, etc, etc.

Girl still says, no, I'm over it.

Guy says, "ok, I saw you as a friend anyway"

Now she has become friend zoned but he constantly tells her of girls he'd like to hook up with.

Seems like they both still want it but are both lying to each other about it and still carry on a friendship.

 

I've friendzoned girls before. Basically, in the past, if I got shot down but liked the girl, I would just stay friends with her.

 

If she became interested in me at that point, I wouldn't even notice because she's in my friendzone and I don't like at her that way anymore.

 

As I gained more experience, though, I found female friends to be more trouble than they're worth. So I only have female acquaintances now.

  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

To be honest I don't even know why this still bothers me anymore.

 

 

Is it because when he's constantly rubbing in my face how hot and ****able other girls are it makes me feel undesirable to him?

 

Is it because he flirts with every other woman in sight and even used to flirt with me (heavily) and now has the nerve to tell me he never flirted with me as if flirting with me were a bad thing?

 

Is it that fact that he claims that he sees me more as a friend he wants to keep around than a random lay he would never want to talk to again (he's a NC after hooking up kind of guy)?

 

Is it because he says that if we had sex he'd probably catch feelings for me?

 

Is it because I'm being stubborn and can't let it go?

 

Since I don't know why I have this resentment for him, I don't even know how to even address this issue.

 

I mean I guess with him it's either friends/or hookup. He can't really do FWB? I guess for me it's hard to understand since I've had two perfectly smooth FWB situations where I was certain I would never catch feelings for the friend knowing their track record (a third one turned into a relationship because he hadn't been a friend prior to the FWB situation and he swore to have fallen in love with me and did things that made us transition into more.....so i guess he wasn't a FWB just a guy I was hooking up with that turned into a relationship.....anyway I digress) With this guy, I know i wouldn't want him as more than FWB, once again, because as a friend, I know what he has been like as a BF to other women, and I don't care to ever be his GF. So FWB would work (for me).

 

Ugh! Stupid unrequited horniness!!!!

Edited by emva07
salparadise Established Member

salparadise

Posted
Posted
Girl becomes frustrated and tells him forget about it. [...] Girl still says, no, I'm over it.

 

Since I don't know why I have this resentment for him, I don't even know how to even address this issue.

 

Because his bsc meter pegged and he subsequently recognized it for what it was and refused to be manipulated. He has options and just doesn't need the headache.

yessy21 Established Member

yessy21

Posted
Posted

Why don't you start pointing out the doable men.

 

and make out with hot guys in front of him.

 

 

they don't have to be hot hot but at least attractive.

 

if you want to know if he is still one hundred percent interested... start giving him this erotic story on what you would do to that guy.

TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

Posted
Posted

Yes, it's possible for a guy to friendzone a girl.

 

This sounds like sour grapes to me, and his reaction is pretty childish.

 

This guy is either trying to make you jealous because he still wants you, or trying to get back at you, because when you rejected him, it was a major blow to his ego.

  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

That's the funny part. He doesn't have options. All the stories end the same. Him telling me he WANTS To hook up with these girls , or he was flirting hardcore with these girls but nothing panned out , etc. it's always wishful thinking stories. Never ones where he Actually lands a girl. He's always making jokes that he doesn't have game.

 

I mean I've been dating guys , have a FWB I got after the incident with him that I'm still in contact with and who he worked with , im not jusr sitting there celibate until he changes his mind lol. And he knows about all of this. Not because I brag about it but because he always asks how my dating life is / friendship with FWB is going. Is nosy about my sex life.

 

And yes, TheGuard. I've thought about this being between the two options you mentioned. Which then leads to my secondary thought. If this is what he's doing, WHY THE HELL DO I STILL WANT HIS PETTY ASS?? No pun intended lol.

Edited by emva07
  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

The reason I changed my mind was because the first time, we were in his car.....this car kept driving by (I think they were looking for a spot to hang out as well) but he kept saying "idk emva, idk......i think it might be an undercover cop, I do not want a ticket for this...I cant afford a ticket" I kept saying IT'S NOT COPS AND THEY'RE GONE, but if you want to go let's go. He says "yes, please, God I want you so bad but I just can't concentrate, I'd be too embarrassed to get a ticket for this in the mail" (he lives with roomates)

 

Ok fine....

 

The second time we were about to do it he kept giggling and making stupid comments (not sexy at all). He's like I'm sorry, I'm nervous. Ok fine. Kept going. But he just kept being silly.

 

After all of that was said and done he says "wow! you are so good at what you do homie!" and high fives me!!! What the hell????

 

So now when he pries about my current sex life he likes getting details, then makes comments like "wow, I can see why you always have men coming back to you for so long!" or " wow, you sure know what you're doing"or "wow, I'm sure you intimidate men in bed". So If I sound so tempting why doesn't he do anything about it?

 

.......and this guy is 27.

Edited by emva07
L1ght Established Member

L1ght

Posted
Posted
The reason I changed my mind was because the first time, we were in his car.....this car kept driving by (I think they were looking for a spot to hang out as well) but he kept saying "idk emva, idk......i think it might be an undercover cop, I do not want a ticket for this...I cant afford a ticket" I kept saying IT'S NOT COPS AND THEY'RE GONE, but if you want to go let's go. He says "yes, please, God I want you so bad but I just can't concentrate, I'd be too embarrassed to get a ticket for this in the mail" (he lives with roomates)

 

Ok fine....

 

The second time we were about to do it he kept giggling and making stupid comments (not sexy at all). He's like I'm sorry, I'm nervous. Ok fine. Kept going. But he just kept being silly.

 

After all of that was said and done he says "wow! you are so good at what you do homie!" and high fives me!!! What the hell????

 

So now when he pries about my current sex life he likes getting details, then makes comments like "wow, I can see why you always have men coming back to you for so long!" or " wow, you sure know what you're doing"or "wow, I'm sure you intimidate men in bed". So If I sound so tempting why doesn't he do anything about it?

 

.......and this guy is 27.

You're gonna have to work this one out on your own but one thing I will say is that is it really worth trying to invest yourself in something that always fails to gain any momentum?

Obviously I don't know this guy but from the sounds of things he's had clear opportunities to make things happen with you but has failed to capitalize and he also sounds very immature for a 27 year old guy or really doesn't know how to behave around women he is attracted to. His behaviour sounds quite odd if I'm honest with you and I'm not exactly sure what you would see in somewhat like that to begin with but like I say I don't know the guy so maybe I'm just being too critical of him.

Make a decision. Either make the move yourself and initiate sex with him since he seems incapable of initiating himself or end it and tell him you're not interested because at the moment the two of you are going nowhere fast.

  • Like 1
TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

Posted
Posted
And yes, TheGuard. I've thought about this being between the two options you mentioned. Which then leads to my secondary thought. If this is what he's doing, WHY THE HELL DO I STILL WANT HIS PETTY ASS?? No pun intended lol.

 

Why did you want him in the first place?

 

And I don't see the pun.

  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted

ok so after reading through this and your replies, I realize, it's not even the sex that I want, I just want to stop being "punished" for having changed my mind. He is punishing me for what happened I guess by trying to make me feel jealous and it makes me feel like crap! If he were a friend like he claims he is, he wouldn't do that, and the funny thing that I always catch his bluff, I know him better, I'm not the first girl he went chicken with he has told me himself. So when I tell him "shut up, you wouldn't do anything with her, you forget that I know what happens when you're about to have sex with a girl you claimed to want so bad :rolleyes:" he gets super defensive. But it still bothers me that he's trying to make me feel bad.

 

Even before coming on here with this, my sentiments were that he can't just be friends and that I should just cut him off. He will always want to punish me for this and I will always feel like crap when he does it.

madjac74 Established Member

madjac74

Posted
Posted

He sounds like a virgin and is trying to blow you off in his attempt to be macho because he is intimidated by your sexuality. Has he ever had a boner when you guys were trying to be intimate and he was making these childish remarks? Or did it go limp too much and he had to deflect attention from it?

  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
He sounds like a virgin and is trying to blow you off in his attempt to be macho because he is intimidated by your sexuality. Has he ever had a boner when you guys were trying to be intimate and he was making these childish remarks? Or did it go limp too much and he had to deflect attention from it?

 

Oh no, he got a boner alright, and he would squirt like crazy. Very wet.

Twice I did webcam for him, I didn't even go full nude, and just in my lingerie alone he told me he was already squirting like crazy. That he will never be able to get those images out of his head.

 

So that's why I find it a slap in the face that now he is taking the extreme opposite and acting like "I prefer you as a friend, I don't want to get attached (which I find curious as well that he'd say that)" and "I never flirted with you" which is a COMPLETE LIE, he would be able to see me sitting in a skirt because he'd tell me all the things he wanted to do to me. So I took the sexual bait, then he acts like a little virgin???? Of course after months of sexual tension I was expecting mind blowing sex, and i got that ??? That's why I got frustrated and told him forget it.

But what hurts me the most about all this is the saying that every woman that walks by him (could be a girl crossing the street while he's at a red light) would get it. I understand what he's trying to do but to me it just translates as "every other girl in the world is sexier than you"

Edited by emva07
Quiet Storm Established Member

Quiet Storm

Posted
Posted

Don't you have to genuinely care about a person to be friends?

 

What I see here is game playing, manipulation, insecurity, punishment, vindictive behavior- on both sides.

 

You two are not friends. You can't even be yourselves around each other.

 

Friends look out for each other's best interests.

 

You are feeling rejected, and its drawing you towards him instead of away. You say he doesn't treat his girlfriends well, his character is too bad to be in a relationship with him. Why do you want to be friends with him? Focus your sexual attention elsewhere. If you are going to have FWB, at least find a decent guy.

  • Like 2
  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No. At this point it's not about FWB anymore. That's what I told him never mind on. I have another FWB.

 

The issue is why if he claims we are friends he keeps making sexual comments and making me feel bad about what happened ?

 

I go NC then I get txts saying " can't say hi to friends anymore ?" " forgot about me ?" So I tell him we are not friends. So he says that's not true. I see you as a good friend. I don't want to lose you.

 

Well then stop being an ass and be a friend !

SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

Posted
Posted
Guy and girl were about to have sex, they both really wanted it.

Were about to do it twice but were interrupted both times, girl becomes frustrated and tells him forget about it. Guy says please give me a chance, it's only been twice, I promise I'll deliver the next time, etc, etc.

Girl still says, no, I'm over it.

Guy says, "ok, I saw you as a friend anyway"

Now she has become friend zoned but he constantly tells her of girls he'd like to hook up with.

Seems like they both still want it but are both lying to each other about it and still carry on a friendship.

 

 

Guys outside of family, workplace, and neighbors have zero interest in merely being your friend when they wouldn't really rather be banging you.

 

 

So yeah, this guy is still wanting with all of his heart to deliver it to you.

  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Haha this guy.

 

Lives on the opposite side of town. I live on this tiny neighborhood with no businesses nearby and dead end streets.

 

He just "happened" to drive down my street today. :rolleyes:

 

I was leaving for a run to the store so he said oh hiiii but then my neighbor drove by and told me she would take me to the store. I said bye and got into my neighbors car quick and drove away.

 

Strange strange man.

madjac74 Established Member

madjac74

Posted
Posted
Oh no, he got a boner alright, and he would squirt like crazy. Very wet.

Twice I did webcam for him, I didn't even go full nude, and just in my lingerie alone he told me he was already squirting like crazy. That he will never be able to get those images out of his head.

 

There is a reason he is squirting like crazy watching you on cam and not in person. He is more comfortable stimulating himself.

 

But what hurts me the most about all this is the saying that every woman that walks by him (could be a girl crossing the street while he's at a red light) would get it. I understand what he's trying to do but to me it just translates as "every other girl in the world is sexier than you"

 

No he is acting like someone who never has sex with anyone.

  • Author
emva07 Established Member

emva07

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
There is a reason he is squirting like crazy watching you on cam and not in person. He is more comfortable stimulating himself.

 

He kept squirting in person too both times.

 

The second time, I was doing oral on him and he kept squirting in my mouth so he kept apologizing for it and giggling. I kept telling him it's ok, it's natural. He went into saying it's something that made him uncomfortable and I kept saying, IT'S FINE, that he's not the only guy who has that happen and that it's nothing to be embarrassed about. He said his ex hated it and didn't giving him oral because of it, so i said "well i'm not her and i'm ok with it". Afterwards he apologized because he always says silly stuff during sex to hide his nerves.

It just was awkward, he was enjoying it but at the same time was super self conscious and apologizing for things that didn't need to be apologized for. He even apologized because his penis leans to the side. That's not his fault!

 

All of this while he's getting oral -.-

Edited by emva07
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...