abby_tx Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 My ex and I agreed to be friends after we broke up. He broke up with me FYI. We are doing no contact now. I'm just curious how long of no contact until it's reasonable to pursue a friendship?
petall Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Never in my opinion. Too much history, and you don't want to put yourself at risk of feelings resurfacing after all the hard work of going through recovery.
barky2 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 At complete indifference. When you can walk up to his wife and 2 kids and be genuinely happy. Hypothetical... but you get my drift. Not a second before. Barky 3
Author abby_tx Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 Never in my opinion. Too much history, and you don't want to put yourself at risk of feelings resurfacing after all the hard work of going through recovery. I had a feeling that's what someone would say He was really intelligent and motivated unlike most of my friends now and I'm having trouble meeting anyone that can fill that void. I would take him as a friend. That's pathetic of me I suppose.
JDPT Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Never, I as previously states too much lived together to attempt to be "friends".
tart6245 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 Don't be friends. You have too much history. You'll either get back together some day or move on. It's nearly impossible to be friends with someone after you've dated for an extended period of time.
Author abby_tx Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 We only dated for 3 months, but we got along really well. I think we're both really similar and don't have many friends who filled that spot. We just didn't work as a couple. Don't know if that makes a better or worse case for wanting to be his friend.
Author abby_tx Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 I think he's such a loner though that he can deal with no having me
Simon Phoenix Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 You can't be his friend until you have absolutely no desire to be his girlfriend and absolutely no bitterness about the break. There's no time limit on that. 1
veggirl Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 As soon as you are fine with giving him girl advice/hearing about his new girlfriend you can be friends. I could, potentially, be friends with ALL my exes cause I'd be happy to wing-woman them or give them girl advice. I am NOT friends with them though cause....I just don't care enough to reach out and I don't think they are over it like I am. (it took more than a couple months to get to this point, btw)
barky2 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I'll share when its appropriate ...just from life lessons. Dated a girl when I was 14?15? Idk somewhere around there. She broke up with me I was freaking devastated. Cried for so long....lol to think back now. Just recently, 12years later after our last conversation, she friends me on Fb. We start talking...she has 2 kids and a fiancé. I'm not bothered by it one bit. I'm happy for her. THATS when you reach out. When you could truly care less. Barky
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