ToBeTrue Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Ok, so here is my story..... 4 days ago my bf of 6yrs told me he loved me but wasn't in love with me any longer. Was this a bolt out of the blue? To me it was, I knew he hadn't been happy for the last 6 wks or so, but I thought it was just a rough patch. I asked him less than a week ago after an evening of snappiness and one word answers 'do you actually want to be here' and he said that he did, evidently that was not the case. We had a massive row the next day & he slept in his car, which hurt. When he did come home we talked, there was a lot of tears and a lot of soul searching. He told me he needed to leave and get his head together, how could I not let him? I love him too much to scream and shout and lay myself bare and beg him to stay. He promised he would call me on tues (yesterday) and I promised I wouldn't contact him. I left before he did to go to a family party, probably not the best thing to do, but he said he didn't know how he would leave our home let alone if I was there. We hugged and kissed and I left, walking out of that door, our home and our life was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. He said he'd arranged to stay with a friend in another town, I was pleased because this is the sort of friend that will be there for him no matter what. I was just glad he would be taken care of. So he called me on tues, he was at the hospital having had a crash after leaving work!!! Imagine how worried and scared I was, I offered to be there right away, but he said he was fine just cuts and bruises and was waiting for X-rays but would get a taxi back to where he is staying. He then told me that he'd spent sat & sun night sleeping in his car, his friend was away when he spoke to him sat and wouldn't be back to mon. But my bf said he told me he had somewhere to go so I wouldn't worry. My god!!! How did it ever get this bad?!! Anyway, we spoke today and he told me be missed me but still feels the same. He's done all of his thinking and trying over the last few weeks or so, shame he didn't speak to me sooner. I know we've had a few petty rows recently but I honestly thought we could overcome whatever the problem was. I've been staying at my brothers place as I can't stay in our home, it's too full of him and me, and me and him stuff. I'm seriously thinking about giving notice on the lease and not going back there at all, except to move my things out. He's doing the same this weekend, which is another hurdle to get over. The thing I can't get out of my head is I don't know how his life is going to be any better without me. I've supported him so much, financially and emotionally (for reasons that are too complicated to go in to right now) he also had a family with me that he never really had before. My friends are all stunned, we were the couple everyone thought would go the distance. I can't help hoping he will come back, but I also know that I can't force him to be with me if that's not what he wants. I just don't know how to function without him, how I'm going to live without his love and how I failed so epically at something I should have taken so much more care of??!!!
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