Hedley Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Hi guys, newbie here I've been seeing a guy for about 2 1/2 months now (I'm 19, he's 23) and things are going better than I would've thought at this point. We get along very well (other than a little scuff here and there, which we talk through and work things out every time) and pretty much act like a couple. We text all day, every day, he calls me on his lunch breaks in front of his boss and coworkers, even calling me "sweetie" and such in front of them. We typically see each other once during the week and then spend the weekend together. We started out going on proper dates, but as time has progressed, we spend a lot of time just hanging out in addition to going on dates. We've also talked about and made plans to do stuff together in the future (a few months in the future). I've met his friends and hang out with them on occasion, and have met and had dinner with his parents (he lives at home to be fair, but he still invited me to dinner with them). He also invited me to a baseball game with his coworkers. He is very protective of me, calling me "my girl" and "all mine" and making comments to other guys that hit on me and has made comments to me like (in a joking tone) "you better not be seeing anyone else." So, it feels to me like we act like we're together, yet he hasn't brought up the exclusivity talk. I know we haven't been seeing each other very long but I feel like our relationship has progressed fairly quickly. Anyways, I really don't want to be the one to initiate it, so I was looking for some opinions or advice on how to get him to initiate it, or any hints to give him. Thanks guys!
runningfar Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 See, I didn't know the exclusivity talk was necessary. My boyfriend and I went from friends to dating to living together to now talking about marriage without ever having it. 1
Phantom888 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I never even thought there was such a thing as "exclusivity talk" until my recent relationships after my divorce. I always assumed if you are dating someone, and you are really enjoying being with each other, then you are "exclusive". It has always been like that for me. You don't need to talk about it. Then I realized there are people out there that like to multi-date, and I got kinda concerned. When my woman and I first met, before we had sex, I told her I would only sleep with her if we are "exclusive". She agreed. That was our exclusive talk.
AMusing Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 It sounds like he already has established (your) exclusivity: can't get much clearer than "You better not be seeing anyone else." In his mind, it's *probably* already clear that you two are exclusive. However, it's that tiny possibility that he isn't that is bothering you, so I'd bring it up, casually. The last time I was in your shoes, I asked the guy if we were exclusive, and he said, "We damn well better be!" It only took a minute and made me feel much better.
AMusing Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I never even thought there was such a thing as "exclusivity talk" until my recent relationships after my divorce. I always assumed if you are dating someone, and you are really enjoying being with each other, then you are "exclusive". It has always been like that for me. You don't need to talk about it. Then I realized there are people out there that like to multi-date, and I got kinda concerned. When my woman and I first met, before we had sex, I told her I would only sleep with her if we are "exclusive". She agreed. That was our exclusive talk. I totally agree with this. Didn't realize it was something I needed to clarify until I got caught making that assumption (i.e. exclusivity doesn't need to be explicitly brought up) while with a multi-dater. Broke my heart. Now, if the guy doesn't bring it up, I will always bring it up, even if I don't think it's necessary. 1
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