Anna178 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Hello to all. There is something I can't help getting my mind off. We are in continuous contact with my ex. Nothing special, agreed to stay friends as we care for each other, and actually our break-up was a must. I would have a lot to say to him, but eventually I never send anything, so we just say hi! or how are you! every week or 3-4 days. Email of a sentence or 2. Never going deep, nothing. I'm playing cool. About 2 days ago I did send him an email saying "I'm trying to write down smtg but I just can't.." And then we went on emailing 'bout nothing. 2 days ago I didn't reply to his last email as there was no question in it, and we do leave out even a week or 2 to reply each other. And out of the blue today morning I see he sent me 2 empty emails few hours after midnight. When one, who goes to work, really does sleep. First I thought he tried to write something for me, perhaps he was drunk and wanted to say smtg but then not drunk enough not to realize to delete the text, but drunk enough to click the wrong button in the end, or he was missing me, or perhaps he has a new gal emailing with at that time and by mistake he sent me a blank email, being it a quite late hour.. To add to it, it was a "reply" to his own last email, not a brand new email, so it must have been opened.. I did ask him today morning that I got 2 empty emails(sent at almost same second) and if he was OK. He replied to me soon saying he is sorry it was not intentional.. And then asking me how I was. Well, honestly, I have no idea what to think of this. I asked him whether somebody perhaps broke in to his emails. But truely, I think that's the least least possible option. My first guess was he missed me and wanted to say smtg to me, my last guess was that he was emailing with somebody else. And all in between. Anybody having an opinion? PS: Obviously I do love him. Quite a lot. That's why I ponder about this. If he has a hard time, I would like to help him out. But perhaps I have a hard time forgetting him and he has already moved on...
reddragon588 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 This is a game you're playing with your emotions. Take a step back and forget about the relationship you had in the past with this individual. What are you getting out the current relationship? All your doing is sending pointless one sentence and sometimes even blank messages to each other. Every relationship you hold, whether romantic, platonic or professional, should provide some type of value to you, something that makes you better and/or happier. Is this current relationship doing that? To me it would appear not. It is only serving to upset you and keep you from moving forward. Stop playing this game with him and go NC. If he cares still and wants to pursue a relationship again, he will come back still. In the meantime, this game will not serve to bring you any closer with your ex. He needs to realize what he's losing with you out of his life. Right now you are not out of his life.
Cali408 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Red Dragon is 100% right. I played the stupid breadcrumbs game on social sites. I told her I was done and wouldn't engage. Yet she continues to do so. Not me, NC is the way to go.
Dorota Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 You're worrying about something that you will never get an answer to. He already told you that it was not intentional. That's the best answer you can hope for. Worrying about it and speculating the millions of reasons the blank emails could have been sent isn't helping you. You're obviously still very emotional about the break-up. Maybe you should consider doing NC until you can be friends with him without over analyzing every single contact you have. It may be too soon for you guys to be friends. I understand what you're going through. I thought I was ready to be friends, but just realized that NC is a better choice for now.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Everyone is just going to tell you to go NC. There is no point in staying friends with an ex when you just broken up. You probably couldn't bare the thought of your ex having sex with someone else, being with another, not loving you. So it's best to ignore them and detox from that person.
Author Anna178 Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 Thanks to all of you for giving your ideas on it. I gave it a thought for a few days and I knew I was going to admit you are right. I think we do love each other. But the ciscumstances are just not right at all. All I can really do is to surrender to the situation, and making it harder and longer to move on makes really no sense. I guess we both still had some hope deep deep inside our hearts for smtg that cannot happen. And I think we wanted to stay friends because we care for each other and would like to know how the other one is doing in general. But honestly, I think Dorota you are absolutely right this is not the time for us to be friends. It is too painful for both of us. I will go ahead ignoring his emails. It's better for him as well. And I want him to be living in happiness.
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