EX-GF BU w/me and won't respect NC

[walkthisway]

My ex GF of two years broke up with me months ago. Did 1 month NC. Than she started calling and texting and asked if we could be friends. After hanging out a few times - and sleeping with each other - she said "no". A month ago I told her that we will not be talking for a long time - at least six months or until I'm ready.

 

In the last two weeks I've received unsolicited emails saying everything from "I've moved on" to "I miss you" to happy holidays - just more emails that have been, for months, saying "I'm over you" when I never send anything before or after them. And during this most recent NC she has used others to text me saying she wants to talk to me as I've blocked her phone from calls and texts.

 

WTF? She left me. I asked for space. She cannot seem to respect this. I am now having others text me saying she wants to talk - yet nothing remotely close to nice has come out of her mouth and I don't want to hear one more time that she's over me - or anything less than a huge "I'm sorry" and an hour or ten of begging for forgiveness for the crazy **** she did. Do I break NC to tell her to stay the F away from me? I'm writing here b/c it certainly does still effect me and it would be such a cool experience to have a transformed woman that knows how to treat a person in a good way. But the odds of that are slim-to-none. She's hit rock-bottom in life these last few months - there is a chance that she went through something similar to what I went through. But odds are not.

 

I guess I just need to vent here. I'm sure if I didn't block her phone I'd be receiving texts and calls every day.

 

This past summer months after she broke up with me we started hanging out and had some really good times. She was seeing another guy and I was seeing other people - but we slept with each other and had long many hour conversations - things that never happened when we were together - I saw potential as I'm attracted to her and vice-versa - both of our other partners weren't serious. Those recent times had me curious, but when she said 'no' to going on a date, I cut her off. Now I'm pissed that she cannot respect this NC. And has gone as far as the above-mentioned having someone else text me saying she wants to speak to me.

 

Just pissed and need to vent. I don't know what to do with this one. What do you do when your ex, that broke up with you, doesn't respect NC? Restraining order? (I know, dramatic on my part)

[heartshaped]

I think you need to completely change your number.

 

If she was interested in being with you, she would say so. She's dropping breadcrumbs. Don't engage.

[Misfortune]

She's a bit twisted for rubbing her being over you in your face. Block/delete her whereever you can and ignore her. If she has changed and wants to be with you, she'll go out of her way to let you know:; accept nothing less.

[reddragon588]

Clearly she's not over you or she wouldn't feel the need to tell you so. Nothing screams "I'm over you!" Like going out of your way to text them constantly.

 

Personally, I would just break it to tell her to stfu. Be 100% honest about how it makes you feel and don't hold back. Tell her it hurts you and that unless she has something substantive to say, you need her to back off because she's hurting you.

 

If that doesn't work still then you need to change your number.

[Chi townD]

I agree, when someone has to TELL you that their life is great and they are completely over you, then chances are, they're not.

 

However, YOU are right. She's not sending you the "I'm sorry" breadcrumbs or anything like that. Therefore, I have a feeling that she's feeling guilty. She broke up with you, that hurt. Then, she offered friendship and allowed it to go too far. Then, you thought things were going in the right direction, you asked her out and she shut you down, that hurt again. She knows that she's been hurting you and the guilt is eating her up. So, she's desperate to get you in the "friend zone".

 

Here's the deal, don't respond to anything.

 

Just remember, if she TRUELY wanted to talk to you, then she knows where you live. NOTHING is stopping her from showing up at your door if she was truly determined to talk to you. Am I right?

[Keenly]

Tell her your new girlfriend doesn't appreciate the harassment.

[walkthisway]

I'm having a weak evening. I have a dozen drafted emails reaching out with curiosity as to why she's asking to talk to me - why I received an email saying "I miss you" in the subject - why she went great lengths to get my attention.

 

I haven't done anything. I've drafted and saved. I don't know if I'm being real with myself, I believe above - the comment that she knows how to find me confirmed how I feel about the situation - but I can't shake this days after someone contacted me on her behalf and I haven't had any communication with her from my end or a month.

 

Again - venting. It sucks. Not as much - no broken heart - just holding back questions. Your posts above helped out a ton. Thanks, guys. Much appreciated.

 

(What sucks is that I know we're all assuming what the other person is thinking or doing - none of us know what is actually happening on the other end)

[onlineonly]

Same stuff here, bro.

 

Going through the exact stuff right now.

 

Tried to be friends with her post BU, but didn't feel any good. Told her that I'm going NC and wished her luck. Also told her not to bother me unless you have dumped your rebound and truly want me back.

 

Went to NC, after 4 days starts to talk how bad I am, then quickly changes the subject and wants all the stuff she gave (gifts) to me. I said yeah, sure.

 

Then goes soft and says how badly she wants me. I answered, that I don't believe in your words since you take no actions whatsoever (she haven't broke up with her rebound).

 

Today I see 3 messages:

 

"Answer me"

"**** off"

"I don't want to see you anymore"

 

+ she unfriended me on FB.

 

LOL. Will see what happens next, NC definitely made her mad. Don't know how long can she take it.

[Sugarkane]

You might be able to get a restraining order. I regret not considering this when I had a dumper contact me just to brag and send a series of verbally abusive texts.

[walkthisway]

And a card in the mail saying "I hope we can be friends."

 

WTF! What is this chick doing? What in the world gives her the idea that after we tried to be friends and it wasn't working for me so I went NC and now it's okay to hit me from ever angle - to be friends?!?

 

I need to do something about this. It ain't right. It's f'd up! Please, someone, what do you tell your extremely depressed ex gf that doesn't understand that one asks for space bc they have feelings for you and you're not interested - that I need until 2014 or until I'm ready to talk - that we cannot speak unless we see each other by accident? How disrespectful is this? Or how disingenuous can a person be about their emotions? We were never friends before dating and we were barely friend while dating. We have a bunch of good times after we're over and now I'm hit almost every day of this past seven - now by mail - with communication?!? And it's "I hope we can be friends."?!?!? You're ****ing in love, honey. I told you it was gonna take a long time to get over years of being together. I hope you're reading this.

 

Venting. Again. I love online forums. The Internet rocks.

[RiceaRoni]

Simply just ignore. Don't even open the messages. You see it's from her. Delete it.

And move on. She's leaving breadcrumbs for you so that you'll still be on the back burner somewhere. She thinks you'll stick around and wait for her if she leaves you messages like this. Don't fall for it.

[walkthisway]

It was actual mail. USPS mail. No return address, just thought it was an invitation or something. The email is easy. It's every other angle. And I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm over all of this - that's why I asked for NC. It's being violated left and right. I was so straight with how I feel. Who mails someone asking to be a friend? How blind can someone be of their own emotions?

 

I have to stand up and say something. This is messed up. Isnt it universally understood that when you break up with someone and they ask you to stay away - don't we all know that we stay away and respect the person? We're frickin adults here - this isnt teenage years we're playing in. Of course I'm venting like a kid here - I just need to vent. We break NC if we want to get back with our ex. Otherwise there is no reason.