finding out you are an addict realy sucks some one please help

[darkkitty]

any help would be greatly apreciated .

 

i have recently discovered i am an addict. i am a sex/love addict. i never knew such a thing existed until today when i was trying to figure out ways to save my marriage. it makes alot of sence when i think of it i seemed to get extreemly agitated when my wife was not in the mood. i say alot of things that i realy dont mean and i regret it after i get my fix so to speak. i realy do love my wife and i need to figure out what to do. i always heard admiting you have a problem is the first step so " i have a problemb" now what is my second step and so on. please dont think i abuse my wife or any thing i just get really bitchy and iratable.

[Merin]

Get into some therapy to find out whats the cause of your addiction.

[moimeme]

There are books about love addiction. Check out your local bookstore.

[Patiently waiting]

My (ex) MM said he's a sex addict, unfortunately his addiction took him out of his marriage many times.

If I were married to a sex addict and it was only with me that he had the addiction, I would be ecstatic! I could have sex endlessly with someone I love! Where can I find someone like you??????

[darkkitty]

that one was funny thank you but i seriously need to work on the problemb it is starting i am asking my for a "chore" more than any thing else it is sad to say that i dont think it has any thing to do with love more the feeling of love. the chemicals that your brain puts out when you reach the bliss of love or orgasim (havent figured that out yet) btw most hispanics or people with hispanic in their veins have always been considered the best lovers.

[Queen B]

I'd say go to a counsellor...and meanwhile find other ways to blow off steam..a cold shower, masturbation go for a run?

[Scott S]

Originally posted by Patiently waiting

My (ex) MM said he's a sex addict, unfortunately his addiction took him out of his marriage many times.

If I were married to a sex addict and it was only with me that he had the addiction, I would be ecstatic! I could have sex endlessly with someone I love! Where can I find someone like you??????

 

Unfortunately, the problem with addiction is what you experienced with your ex.

 

The sex is not the result of love, but the compulsion. And the addict is never satisfied, and therefore never happy. Thus, they go outside the relationship, believing that "maybe this one last time, I'll be satisfied, then I'll stop." And of course that doesn't happen.

 

Like other addictions, the success in breaking it depends on how motivated the addict is. Certain addictions are more difficult than other, of course.

 

And there really is no such thing as a "former" addict. Only "recovered" ones, who must be on guard at all times to avoid relapsing into old behaviors.

[Pocky]

Tell your wife. Work on a solution together.

[SoleMate]

Before you start working on a solution, can you do me a favor and actually do some serious work with professional help to figure out if "sex addiction" is indeed your problem? It seems your own self-diagnosis was pretty hasty and not thorough.

 

Also, please check out The Sex Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis to see if any of her advice or ideas may apply to you.

[darkkitty]

thank you all for your advice and comments i will look into it. and it would be kinda nice if i dont end up being an addict. i will keep checking if you would like to leave more to help . thanks for all your help

[darkkitty]

well i dont know if i am or not a sex addict but since i started trying to fix things. things are slowlly starting to look like they are improving. i dont think i could it with out your help so thanks