travelonic Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 So as I approach 1 year since my proverbial D-day, when the emotional affair of my ex had surfaced out into the open. Sure, a lot has happened in a year. I've graduated from college, I've started working, I'm meeting new people, and a lot of other awesome things have happened too. But even then the day is still fresh in my mind. Doesn't help that this past June she tried to contact me, wanting to finish a video we worked on together that I, in January, uploaded in its unfinished state - and finish the tension between us as she put it. I responded to it after nearly a month of pondering if I should reply - and if so what I'd say - saying that what she asks concerning the tension between us is impossible at this present time - maybe eventually - a long time from the time I replied to the message - but not now. As the days go by, I can't help but be tempted to send her a message on Facebook to call her bluff, saying something along the lines of "If you are at all serious about quelling the tension between us, at least start by reading this [link to Wikipedia article on emotional affairs] - maybe then you'll understand why the tension is so high to begin with. Even if it takes you a while, at least read it over" or something like that. So far, however, I successfully resisted. But it is so ****ing hard.
Salvatore85 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Man why bother? You've got so much going for yourself, don't drag yourself down to her level. 1
Misfortune Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I think that will only cause more tension between you two. If you have nothing nice to say....stay NC. I would also never complete the video just to spite her.
Author travelonic Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 I would also never complete the video just to spite her. Heheh, I dunno what'd cause more spite - not completing it, or finishing it on my own ignoring her suggestions from back before **** hit the fan, and just doing my thing. Either way I do agree the risks would be too great. Doesn't make it any easier though to resist.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Emotional cheating leads to actual cheating. Trust me. You want to send her a message send her one saying "Go f*** yourself! I'm doing great." Actually don't, it's not worth it to drag it down to their levels.
Author travelonic Posted September 12, 2013 Author Posted September 12, 2013 Trying to "teach" someone what it means to be principled and to follow a moral compass is a total complete waste of time. . Hence one of the many reasons I still haven't given in to the temptation!
forgetmenot75 Posted September 12, 2013 Posted September 12, 2013 I'm sorry...1 year? Do you really have the urge to contact her? What for? You should be dating right now, who cares about that cheater! 1
Author travelonic Posted September 13, 2013 Author Posted September 13, 2013 I'm sorry...1 year? Do you really have the urge to contact her? The urge would be weaker had she not contacted me before - even then, it's more from having an "Eureka" moment in understanding what **ACTUALLY** happened between us - but as I have said before, having that urge != acting on it, and so far I have been doing good on that front. Depending on the break up, the circumstances/why, the people, etc, amongst other factors - combined with contact or lack thereof from one or the other party, impact how long feelings take to subside, how feelings wane and ebb, etc. Not everything is uniform - in fact, this is one area that is really, really far from uniform so far as how coping goes on, how long, etc.
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