Samada Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Have been lurking for awhile now but am in such a bad place I need to post. Here it goes... I am 24. I dated, what I thought, was the love of my life for 2 years. It was great and we were so in love. Things started to get tough when distance started to become a factor and I could feel her pulling away. She left me. I was devestated and spiralled into deep depression. I begged, pleaded, basically did everything not to do. I sought help in therapy and stuck to NC. After 5-6 weeks she came crawling back begging me to take her back. I let her back into my life.. and then it happened again. She left again. I was a mess. She kept coming back in and out. I just couldnt come to forgive her for putting me through the pain and suffering. I was really in a bad place. And frankly never recovered. Unfortunately, I was not able to stick to NC. We continued to talk for about a year and went back and forth about whether to get back together etc. It was hell. About a month ago, She told me she was leaving where we live to move across the country because she had a job there. We had one last weekend together on her request and it honestly was great, she told me she loved me, made love all night, etc. I was crushed but what could I do, she was leaving. I begged and pleaded professed my love again to her and she said we couldnt talk because she was moving on to a new life. So I accepted that as hard as it was, I wasnt going to chase her anymore she actually asked me to stop contacting her. Ok fine. Done. This is where things get confusing for me. I am currently at university, my final year. And we had been NC completely for 4 weeks as I assumed she had moved on to her new life and I was letting her be as that is what she requested. I was grabbing lunch about a week ago and who do I see? Ya thats right. It was her. I was so baffled. Here is this girl who said she was leaving to work and we couldnt talk anymore, moving across the country, etc. and now she is in my city? She didnt see me, I asked my friend if I should call her out about lying about moving and stuff, I decided to not text her. NC ever since. All of a sudden her number pops up on my phone last night. "Hey (my name)... Do you have a sec?" "For what?"" " Just letting you know I didnt end up moving... and I just didnt want things to be weird if or when we saw each other out." "Ya I know, I saw you the other day" I replied "oh.... well It was just bothering me that I didnt tell you i was here soo" That was last night and as soon as i saw her number popped up it made me rush with anxiety. I didnt reply after that last msg from her and received a "??" from her a few hours later. Im honestly so confused why would she lie about moving, then show up in my city and then text me that she is here? The thought of seeing her at the bar with other guys is killing me. Im extremely depressed, sick, and crushed by all of this. Can anyone make sense of this and what I should do?
Sparkle304 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Please ask yourself if you want to be treated this way. If you enjoy being lied to and emotionally abused remain in contact. If you would like to regain your self-confidence and find a more stable relationship, do not contact her.
Misfortune Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Just ignore her. She got caught in her lies and is trying to ease her guilt. She probably saw you or realized that you saw her and she had an "oh *****" moment. She's probably messaged you to avoid you ripping her a new one for being deceptive.
Author Samada Posted September 11, 2013 Author Posted September 11, 2013 I just cant get over the fact that a month ago she was saying she loved me then a week later she says we cant talk anymore because she was supposably moving. Which I come to find out is not true. And to make matters worse she shows up in MY city. Atleast if she was on the other side of the country I wouldnt have to worry about seeing her out everywhere I go. Im totally at a loss right now and can barely get out of bed. Ive lost all self esteem and confidence over this. Nothing is fun for me anymore and I just want to be alone at all times. How do I deal with this situation? People say to move on do new things etc. but nothing seems to make me feel better. And every time something wrong happens in my life thats not related to my ex, I get even lower in a hole and resort back to kicking myself for not being good enough for her or anyone else.
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