beelibra Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 Desperate for insight...thanks for reading. My boyfriend and I have been official for exactly a month now. We started dating in the beginning of april, even though we are both long distance him in arizona and me in california, we have seen each other every couple of weeks. We both have kids, his is 2 and mine is 3. My relationship with my ex ended long ago and is very much over, but his ex and him broke it off several times finally ending it in february after she cheated on him. So I knew getting into this that it was pretty soon and he was still hurt and she still wanted him back. But our relationship took off and we're very much head over heels for one another, & last weekend when I saw him he cried to me and told me he loves me and I love him too. Ive told him my concerns about her before, and he has reassured me there is nothing there at all and they were over a long time before things ended. But sunday when he left his ex who lives out here dropped off their son to him and you I was with him and started crying about how she missed everything and he was consoling her...which I don't get. I overheard him talking to her on the phone in a consoling voice too which bothered me, but I like that he's respectful and I don't want to criticize him for that. We are texting less lately and our conversations arent like they used to be, and that's making me feel like his rebound. Even though when we are together sparks fly. For example he texted me a picture of his son, around 2 pm and I noticed his ex had the same picture on her instagram that he had sent her. He didn't text me for a few hours after and it makes me feel like you was talking to her instead and me, which makes me feel like maybe that's why he does when he isn't texting me. I can't let him know I was on her instagram, and theres nothing wrong with him sending her pics of there son either, but I might sound absurd telling him that's what I think, or I'm starting to feel like the rebound... But I don't want to be miserable everyday through this long distance relationship either. He's not secretive of our relationship, and they aren't friends on facebook. He'll post pictures of us and she knows when I'm over there at his house, he doesn't hide me by all means even to her. So I want to tread carefully because I don't want him to be irritated of my insecurities of them...I'm stumped and I don't know what to do here. But I can't help that this is so heavy on my mind. If's there are any details that would help please let me know so I can let you guys know. Thank you lots for taking the time to read this...your answers mean more than you know. I can't picture my life without this man and I love him and have invested so much into him, and completely put my walls down for him. He tells me all the time how much I mean to him and how he can't picture his life without me either. Where do I go from here? I do tend to over analyze and overthink everything and I don't want to mess this up. But let's face it, an ex that is the mother of his child that were together for 3 years and still wants him back is going to bother me. She's so spiteful and if we're together when he's down here, and she sees I'm with him she won't drop off his son and will drive off the street angry and hang up on him. He doesn't act like he cares and just shrugs it off like shes crazy and its whatever...but still its strange. Thanks guys.
Kelly15 Posted September 11, 2013 Posted September 11, 2013 I think if he has a child with her, she will and needs to be a part of his, if you want to be with him, you will have to accept that I know it's hard not to worry but it sounds like he really cares for you.
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